to feel vaguely annoyed about the teacher's present collection?

(178 Posts)
prettybutclumpy Mon 24-Jun-13 16:33:48

I have been collecting donations for my DC's teacher at school with another really lovely mum. She suggested that all the children should sign the card rather than just the kids whose parents had donated to the present. I think about half the class parents have donated, the others may be doing their own thing or not think teacher's presents are necessary. I don't have any issues with either of these positions. However....AIBU to be vaguely annoyed that the teacher, if she does her sums, might think the average donation wasn't much when most donating parents have given a fiver, and some even a tenner?

5Foot5 Mon 24-Jun-13 16:54:34

YABU to take up a collection in the first place. IMHO of course.

xTillyx Mon 24-Jun-13 16:54:47

Its great when you have a lovely teacher,but speaking as an ex teacher, I don't give presents. If DD wants to make something that's great.

ArthurSixpence Mon 24-Jun-13 16:56:39

Good point Rita Or perhaps pencil - the poor man's pen - for no contribution?

CloudsAndTrees Mon 24-Jun-13 16:56:57

I can almost guarantee the teacher won't be doing sums to work out how much each parent gave.

She will just be pleased to get a present, and if she's a teacher worthy of a present, she will prefer her whole class to have their names on her card.

WafflyVersatile Mon 24-Jun-13 17:00:17

I reckon the teacher probably knows that in collections people give a variety of amounts including zero.

Although I am now awaiting a thread from a teacher complaining about how few gifts she's received.

Is that an annual thread subject? I wasn't here last year.

FacebookAnonymous Mon 24-Jun-13 17:00:52

This is the reason why I dread women with a huge sense of self importance, who I don't even know outside school, coming up to me, rattling an envelope under my nose and demanding money. I cannot afford to contribute to teachers presents and I know that I'm sneered at because of it.

saulaboutme Mon 24-Jun-13 17:01:47

Sore point, oh dreaded collections and snobby parents.

EeyoreIsh Mon 24-Jun-13 17:11:32

I know what. Why don't you donate double to make up for those parents in the class who can't afford anything?

intheshed Mon 24-Jun-13 17:17:57

There was a lovely thread the other day about someone anonymously donating enough to school for an extra child to go on a school trip, to help out families who couldn't afford it.

This is the EXACT opposite of that thread. sad

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 17:20:16

Yanbu. Our class does a collection every year which means that not every parent has the hassle of thinking what to buy but also the teacher doesn't get loads of tat presents but instead gets a voucher. We all donate a fiver, there's no pressure or sneering if no-one wants to but actually most appreciate it being done. We give stickers to each child to sign to put in the card as getting everyone to sign it individually is a logistical nightmare. Also means that those that have paid get a sticker to sign wink

valiumredhead Mon 24-Jun-13 17:24:50

I never encountered this during ds's schooling so far thank God!

ArthurSixpence Mon 24-Jun-13 17:25:23

That's lovely for the children of poor or forgetful parents, QueenCadbury I bet they appreciate the simple and convenient way you have constructed to exclude them.

Onesleeptillwembley Mon 24-Jun-13 17:28:20

What an absolutely shit thing to do with children, cadbury. I hope that makes you feel good about yourself.

McNewPants2013 Mon 24-Jun-13 17:30:52

I wouldn't give to the collection, for the reason my children enjoy the time making a card and that is more cherished by teachers.

mymagaret Mon 24-Jun-13 17:32:52

I think its Unreasonable some of the parents have chosen not to donate and still expect their children and themselves to take the credit to be honest. But they are children and its not fair they have tight parents, to them not signing the card will probably be a big deal. The best option would have been to get individual gifts if you wanted to be individually appreciated. I get this all the time at work, they send out a collection for leaving presents and the same people never put their hand in!

ShatnersBassoon Mon 24-Jun-13 17:35:39

QueenCadbury, so a child whose parent doesn't have the wherewithal to donate to the collection is excluded from writing a message for the teacher in the 'class' card?

Good for you, for punishing blameless children and for sowing a seed of doubt in the teacher's mind: didn't that child feel they wanted to give a thank you message?; is everything OK in that child's home life?; are the family struggling in some way?. What a nice way to round the school year off.

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 17:36:14

Nope, I don't feel shit at all and neither do the other parents. It's something we've done for the past 3 years and if people want to opt out they can. The ones that do will get their own individual present. I don't personally care whether people donate or not but I like most other parents prefer to hand over a fiver and be done with it. It would cost me a lot more than that if I were to show my appreciation individually to the teacher and LSAs. There's no forgetfulness as we start the process weeks before and are all in regular contact with each other at the school gates or email.

valiumredhead Mon 24-Jun-13 17:36:20

OP just realised you described yourself in the OP as 'a lovely mum'grin

WafflyVersatile Mon 24-Jun-13 17:36:55

why do you assume it's tightness? Are you au fait with everyone's financial situation?

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 17:40:09

It's not a class card-it's a card from the children who have donated. Anyone else can sign their on card.

I guess I knew I was in for a flaming when I replied but I'm genuinely flabbergasted that some of you think that myself and other parents are punishing blameless children.

ArthurSixpence Mon 24-Jun-13 17:43:54

I don't get it, QueenCadbury You're saying that you see or have the email address for all the parents of all the children in the class? I don't think many schools are like that - at DDs school quite a few get dropped off by child minders, and picked up by them, or grand-parents or someone other than a parent.

I also don't understand why £5 is enough to show your appreciation if a group of you do it, but not on your own? If your gratitude is 'worth' more than £5, why do you only put £5 in?

I note you didn't address the point that some might not be able to afford it, either ...

EeyoreIsh Mon 24-Jun-13 17:45:43

I am shocked by the ignorance about some people's financial situation. To some people, £5 is a lot of money! It'll be part of the family's food money, or money for bills. Even in relatively wealthy areas you still cannot assume everyone can afford it.

I really hope some of the people on this thread don't have to find this out for themselves.

My DH is a teacher. He cherishes the handmade cards above everything, even the beers.

xTillyx Mon 24-Jun-13 17:46:31

With the time and effort you put into these collections,you could spend time sitting down with your kids making a little something for the teacher. It would mean more to them and their teacher.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 24-Jun-13 17:47:30

QC, don't you feel a bit sad for those children whose parents genuinely can't give though? Don't you want to give them all a sticker to write on, regardless of cash donation from parents? It's no skin off your nose if a kid with nothing to give puts a message in the card.

QueenCadbury Mon 24-Jun-13 17:48:10

Oh and before you all think I'm a heartless bitch I would happily donate for a child that couldn't afford it to go on a school trip.

The class collection is just a chance for parents to collectively put our money together as a token of our appreciation. Why is it any different to buying individual presents and a child feeling left out because their parent didn't buy anything. Maybe next time we should get the parents to sign the stickers as it's from us rather than the kids. Would that make you all feel happier?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now