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To find people who like making a three act tragedy out of everything v annoying

(164 Posts)
arabesque Mon 24-Jun-13 13:38:36

One of my colleagues does this and she's getting on people's nerves. Last week her American cousin's husband died suddenly. Very tragic, obviously but my colleague barely knows her cousin and had only met the husband a couple of times. However, on Friday she wouldn't come to another colleague's retirement drinks because 'given her family bereavement it wouldn't really be appropriate and she didn't want to put a dampener on things'. I mean, FFS. Two colleagues have lost their fathers in recent months and she's making more of a fuss than they did.

Last year her mother had her credit card skimmed and this colleague went on as if the woman had been mugged at knife point, talking about how 'shaken up' the whole family were and 'you never really think it will happen to someone you know, do you'.

She took a day off work when her sister was having her appendics out (op in morning, home that afternoon) because she'd only be 'worrying and no use to anyone'.

AIBU to wonder how she will ever cope if she has something serious to cope with and also to feel that there are people in work with real worries and traumas and she should get over herself and stop being such a drama queen?

oooh just noticed that "nearly died". I did, honest, or at least I think I did, I was unconscious for most of it and I didn't like to ask my mum the details after...

Dubjack - what did she say?

I'll admit to being a bit of a drama llama about "oh no I've left my phone in work" or "oh no, run out of milk". I am a creature of routine so the small things upset me!
I hope I'm not a drama llama about the bigger stuff though - I have a fairly undramatic life, am very grateful and would quite like to keep it that way.

(Whoever mentioned meningitis though, I also had a weightloss comment after meningitis. Saw a friend for the first time having nearly died and she said "I hope you're not going to pile it all back on again". I was shock)

bootsycollins Wed 26-Jun-13 23:08:20

Grief junkies

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp Wed 26-Jun-13 22:49:58

I also like the analogy earlier in the thread about how some people are drains and some are radiators, brilliant.

Dubjackeen Mexico Wed 26-Jun-13 22:43:59

Love the 'black cattery' description, must remember that. The thread reminded me of an ex-colleague, who was perpetually in the throes of a drama of some sort. I remember one time, another colleague's dad died. He had been in hospital, but died quite suddenly, and due to hospital error, the family were not contacted immediately. So they went in, to visit, and were naturally very shocked and upset to discover that their dad was dead, and that they had not been there, and not contacted, even after it had happened. My DL ex-colleague immediately started holding forth about how SHE would feel, if it happened to HER. I gently reminded her that it had just happened to another colleague, and we should be thinking of her, and doing whatever we could to support her. shock

FoundAChopinLizt Wed 26-Jun-13 22:17:42

Yes, thanks to the poster who introduced 'black catter'. Brilliant.thanksthanks

Anything to add to my mental armoury when dealing with the DL in my life.

QueenStromba Wed 26-Jun-13 22:11:35

And she also had coeliac disease despite sometimes eating pasta which meant that she could eat our food but we couldn't eat her's in case we got gluten in it.

QueenStromba Wed 26-Jun-13 22:05:50

Oh yes. The housemate who moved in and told me about the horrible text messages she was getting from her old housemates because she took a laundry basket that they claimed was theirs. She then constantly dropped it into conversation that she was a witch and that she'd spent most of her childhood in a wheelchair. After about 3 months of living there she went ballistic at me via facebook because I always got home late and made loads of noise. If she'd mentioned to me once that I was being noisy when she was trying to sleep I'd have made more of an effort to be quiet - I stupidly just assumed that since she'd never mentioned anything and I'd never heard anything from her room that I wasn't making too much noise.

She then accused me of all sorts of crap and had her boyfriend ring me up to threaten me. She also claimed to have turned everyone in our local against me. Our landlady and my other housemate both wanted her to leave but we couldn't get her to go so I had to leave instead. I had to sleep on my mate's sofa for a month before we could get a place because I was too scared to sleep in the same house as her. After I came to get my stuff she started a campaign against me because she'd decided that my casserole dish was her's. I had to tell her that I was about to change my number because she was still texting me several times a day about it two months later.

I was supposed to put up with all of this crap from her because she had bowel cancer as evidenced by her cutting her hair short.

Ah yes - I have a drama llama in my life as well. I ignore & do a lot of changing the subject. And y,y things that happen outside her family are nothing, while anything in her family is the worst possible tragedy. It's very tiring.

vintageclock Wed 26-Jun-13 15:39:48

People who do it in person are really annoying as well:

DL: Oh, NOO.

Everyone ignores her

DL: OH SHIIT

Everyone ignores her

DL: I don't BELIEVE it!!!

Everyone resignedly: What's happened.

DL: I've left my PHONE in WORK!!!

Shodan Wed 26-Jun-13 15:38:00

My DM is a DL of the highest order, but truly believes she is not.

So we're always hearing about the constant, dreadful pain she's in, or the terror she's feeling, or the misery of being an unappreciated excellent mother/friend/daughter/wife, or about her 'long-running feud' with her next-door-neighbour, which drains her- but five minutes later (after being ignored or listened to with a polite smile) will declare that she never tells us about the afore-mentioned pain/terror/misery.

And then to cap it all, she's a black catter as well, so a conversation will go thus:

DM: How was the birth? (this is an opening gambit- she pretends concern but is really just waiting for her chance)

ME/DSIS: Well, it was ok. Bit sore, you know.

DM: Really? I thought I was going to die when I gave birth!!

ME/DSIS: Really? All six times? (eye-rolling)

DM: Oh yes. I was in utter agony! Honestly, I've never said so before, but I really thought I was going to die!!

and so on, and so on...

I have a couple of family members who continually post cryptic/passive aggressive status updates of the 'you can't break me, no matter what you do' variety. It's incredibly tedious.

What annoys me more is that idiots other people respond to this attention seeking crap with 'what's happened hun xxx'. They'd eventually stop doing it if everyone ignored them. People of FB: do not rise to their bait!!

kerala Wed 26-Jun-13 15:05:54

Thats awful cat!

The only time my ILs ever show any enthusiasm or interest in anything is when something goes very wrong on other peoples holidays. They are very flat negative people but on hearing of cruise boats capsizing or virulent food poisoning they kind of come alive. When that poor couple got taken hostage by Somalian pirates MIL would keep bringing it up particularly as she was of the opinion that It Was All Their Own Fault.

catinboots Wed 26-Jun-13 15:01:22

Grief Whore

Oscalito Wed 26-Jun-13 14:53:31

God, even the other day, I went round and she was all excited about some magazine article she'd read and she was going to go out and buy the book when it came out later on in the week. I was quite impressed at her excitement and very keen to hear about the article, only for her to tell my about was about bloody pedophiles in the church. Who gets so excited about something like that??

Oscalito Wed 26-Jun-13 14:50:05

oh my mother is like this. She's some kind of hospital/drama addict. She barely saw my sick cousin but then she went into hospital and suddenly she was constantly visiting (even though my cousin didn't even know her that well).

She was there for the night my cousin died, went home in the early hours then went back to the hospital at about 3am after she'd died. I don't know why.

She then stalked around in dark sunglasses and went on about how 'it seems like so long since life has been normal...'. She barely knew my cousin, and really didn't need to be there at the deathbed. Not to mention the fact that my cousin had a small son, a father, sisters.... it was like some kind of competition to be the most upset, the most involved, the most saintly. Really grim. I just hope my cousin didn't feel intruded upon....

TheRealFellatio Wed 26-Jun-13 14:47:03

I loathe cryptic attention seeking status updates that hint of drama and upset but never deliver. They hugely piss me off.

Either tell us, or don't FFS - so childish!

youarewinning Wed 26-Jun-13 14:40:14

yy to cyptic fb posts like -"I give up" and "VILE, some people are just VILE; I'm shaking with rage" and "I feel on a downer as last week I was looking forward to my hen on the weekend"

No 1 - no you don't, your just pissed off you didn't get your own way
No2 - change the record - we know who your talking about and you seem to publically announce enough to how your not entirely innocent in it all
No3 - errrrr, your wedding?

Like pointed out DL announce so much of their lives even a cryptic FB status you know exactly what they mean grin

pinkballetflats Wed 26-Jun-13 14:30:50

Constant cryptic FB updates drive me potty

Nonalphamum Wed 26-Jun-13 13:47:33

What I find with Drama Llamas too is that they feel the need to document their whole life on Facebook. Whether it's about their latest ailment, of which you will get 1000 updates a day, or if they just popped to the shop for a pint of milk.

becscertainstar Wed 26-Jun-13 12:48:21

This thread is briliant. I'm so glad that others notice this and are irritated by it - in RL I'm always so dumb-founded that I don't often call the black catters on their nonsense as I'm just speechless. (excellent name for them, hadn't heard that before!)

I just remembered a colleague years ago who said that it was alright for me as I'd lost three stone in weight with meningitis but she was really STRUGGLING with her diet, and then she burst into tears with the unfairness of it all. Sob, sob, it's so hard, sob, you don't understand, it's alright for you, you're really skinny now and you haven't had to diet at all...sob, sob. (Yes I was indeed very skinny at the time... that'll be the life-threatening meningitis. Soooo much easier than dieting.)

Oh and my DM again. It's like that Peter Kay thing - you phone her up and straight away it's 'Guess who's dead.' Followed by 'It could have been me. It's really shaken me up.' 'How could it have been you Mum?' "Well, she's two years younger than me. And you know I've suffered with FAR worse [insert medical symptom] than she did. And now she's dead. I'm terribly worried. I should go to the doctor. But I hate going to the doctor, you know that.' (That poor doctor, she's down there every week. For someone who hates going to the doctor she's remarkably quick off the mark with booking her appointments.) Of course it wouldn't do to mention that since this person died of whatever Mum is allegedly suffering from this time perhaps they did in fact have it worse than her... Or <whispers> perhaps Mum never had it at all....

pinkballetflats Wed 26-Jun-13 12:01:40

My DM...oh dear god. Whatever is going on in your life she has to trump it somehow. She completely ruined my wedding ( well in fairness, I did for getting it get to me)

She seen to have gotten better...or maybe Imo able to tune it out now...

Some of these examples on this thread are astounding, and some have make me properly chuckle.

Any more for anymore?

vintageclock Wed 26-Jun-13 11:15:52

Black catter is a brilliant phrase. I must remember it. I have a friend like this. No matter what your story, she can top it. When my mother was seriously ill in hospital, she was very worried about her mother's bad cold because it could so easily turn into pneumonia and they'd have to call an ambulance so she knew exactly how I felt. When I had my womb, cervix and ovaries removed she had recently had a d&c (but it wasn't really a d&c it was 'more serious' than that) so she knew exactly how I was feeling. When her sister was in a nasty accident, she had recently fallen and broken her front tooth so she knew exactly how her sister was feeling.
No one is allowed be going through a worse time than her. It's the law, apparently!

MeSoFunny Wed 26-Jun-13 00:34:14

Yeah, but to be fair, tinnitus does blow (noisy) goats.

jessjessjess Wed 26-Jun-13 00:20:56

Oh I met a black catter recently. She actually interrupted me to say: "Oh well that's nothing..." followed by some story I didn't listen to.

The DL I dropped had apparently had traumas including her DP not being able to get a day off work and her guinea pig hurting its claw.

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