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To find people who like making a three act tragedy out of everything v annoying

(164 Posts)
arabesque Mon 24-Jun-13 13:38:36

One of my colleagues does this and she's getting on people's nerves. Last week her American cousin's husband died suddenly. Very tragic, obviously but my colleague barely knows her cousin and had only met the husband a couple of times. However, on Friday she wouldn't come to another colleague's retirement drinks because 'given her family bereavement it wouldn't really be appropriate and she didn't want to put a dampener on things'. I mean, FFS. Two colleagues have lost their fathers in recent months and she's making more of a fuss than they did.

Last year her mother had her credit card skimmed and this colleague went on as if the woman had been mugged at knife point, talking about how 'shaken up' the whole family were and 'you never really think it will happen to someone you know, do you'.

She took a day off work when her sister was having her appendics out (op in morning, home that afternoon) because she'd only be 'worrying and no use to anyone'.

AIBU to wonder how she will ever cope if she has something serious to cope with and also to feel that there are people in work with real worries and traumas and she should get over herself and stop being such a drama queen?

livinginwonderland Mon 24-Jun-13 13:41:45

I have a colleague like this. It's constantly "woe is me" and when something good does happen she still moans about it! It's really frustrating.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Mon 24-Jun-13 13:44:04

I have a colleague like this too. It really pisses me off especially when she gets to leave work early to attend to a family emergency which imo is not a 'real' emergency situation.....like her mum getting a flat tyre on her car hmm - call the RAC ffs.

freddiefrog Mon 24-Jun-13 13:49:01

My MiL is like this. Turns everyone else's misfortune into a drama with her at the centre. Drives me nuts

kerala Mon 24-Jun-13 13:54:02

My ILs are like this. They treat any minor health concern of theirs as a solemn serious life changing event. Yet other peoples health problems are brushed over as insignificant. Example:

MIL: I have something to tell you <serious tone>. I have waited until FIL is not here. You may want to sit down. <DH and I sit down expecting some sort of cancer or heart problem>. FIL has......tinnitus. Am afraid we did actually laugh.

Yet when I had an emergency c section and prem baby they came to stay 4 days later and didnt help one jot and expected me to make them dinner etc. MIL was breezy about any post surgical ache or pain I had, forgetting I think that after her c section she had 2 weeks in bed hmm. Likewise when DH and I had norovirus at their house they ignored it and didnt even bring us a glass of water I had to do it in between chucking up.

arabesque Mon 24-Jun-13 14:00:07

Kerala that's the thing about my colleague. She's so busy making dramas out of nothing that she has no time for anyone else's genuine stresses and tragedies. I remember another colleague who I'm friendly with was finishing up in work for three months because she was having major surgery the following monday. Her dad had been rushed into hospital a few days earlier and nearly died (he did actually die about 3 weeks later), so the girl was stressed to bits worrying about her dad, worrying about her own operation and trying to leave things sorted in work. Yet drama queen cornered her in the corridor one day and started telling her how overworked she was and how exhausted she felt and how she knew that 'if I went to my GP right now he'd put me on a cert for stress straight away'. I don't know how my friend didn't put her fist through drama queen's face.

Pennyacrossthehall Mon 24-Jun-13 14:06:39

The other variant of this that irk me is people who post FB updates like "I can't believe this has happened." or "A tragic, tragic day for us."

Begging someone to ask what, and then start a chain of woeful responses. . . . .

hmm

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 24-Jun-13 14:15:09

I have a colleague who has to leave work early to look after her ill daughter because she's "worried about her".

Said daughter is 22, doesn't live at home and has yet to suffer from anything more serious than tonsillitis. She doesn't have any underlying health issues (I've known them both for 12 years) and is basically a lazy little madam who likes her mum to wait on her hand and foot.

Flobbadobs Mon 24-Jun-13 14:15:11

I deleted someone off FB for doing similar. A friends partner died very suddenly in awful circumstances and my friend was understandably devasted but being a quiet sort didn't really make any fuss, just tried to get on with raising their 2 children while dealing with everything else.
This other (ex) friend was weeping and wailing all over Fb about how she couldn't sleep or eat, couldn't stop crying, how awful she felt about it, how she missed him etc. even worse people were commiserating with her as though she had lost her partner!
I deleted her after seeing about 2 hours worth of histrionics.
YANBU, ot's bloody selfish.

FobblyWoof Mon 24-Jun-13 14:27:03

I have a "friend" who does this. I'm very shortly going to be cutting her out of my life. I just can't deal with it anymore, but at least I have the ability to do that and I don't work with her.

YANBU

vintageclock Mon 24-Jun-13 14:30:18

YANBU. These people want all the fuss and attention that goes with being at the centre of a tragedy, illness or trauma, without having to actually experience the upset, worry, sadness or devastation that goes with it.

I know a couple of people like this; always making dramas out of minor events or trying to insert themselves into other people's tragedies. Very annoying.

DrDumbass Mon 24-Jun-13 14:36:07

I have a colleague who does this but I think hers is more about being needed. Drives me nuts. She will leave e arly because her mum has broken down and so needs someone to let the dog out, bearing in mind it takes her almost an hour to get home so surely her mum wouldve been sorted and let her own dog out in that time.
She is also taking two weeks off in a week or so as her sister has to have her "dodgy implants removed" so she needs to look after her and her two kids. Despite the fact her sister is married and has a husband who can take care of them and her mum and other sister live within a few minutes walk away and sahm.
Also recently her manager had been on holiday and she picked her up from the airport at 5 am, then dropped her off at home and then drove into work (about a 200 mile trip) and then sat in the office all "woe is me I am so tired had to pick x up, she had no-one else" I had been up all night with a poorly toddler and wanted to punch her.

bachsingingmum Mon 24-Jun-13 14:40:46

I used to have an employee like this. For whatever reason she had to be centre stage of whatever was going on in her large extended family. She took a day off once because her nephew's guinea pig had died!

Shellywelly1973 Mon 24-Jun-13 14:46:13

My mum is like this.

I hate it. I realised she loves a drama but some how it all ends up about her!

She's been 'ill' for years. I don't listen anymore. I hate ill people & have zero sympathy for ill people.

FasterStronger Mon 24-Jun-13 14:47:39

my dad died at home. a couple of hours later the funeral director arrived to collect his body.

My SIL acted like it was her DF who has died - and the funeral director expressed his sympathies to her as his daughter & she lapped it up.

I stood there open mouthed. She didn't like DF. he did not like her.

on the upside she is at least consistent and does think the world revolves around her and I steer very well clear of her grin grin grin

Guinea pig
Not even hers but her nephew's?!

jessjessjess Mon 24-Jun-13 15:00:42

Sounds like it might come from her family background?

Why was she allowed a day off work when her sister had an op?

TheCraicDealer Mon 24-Jun-13 15:16:09

My Dad had a double heart bypass in April- I went into work as normal, as did my sister and Mum. Honestly, she sounds like a ball bag.

vintageclock Mon 24-Jun-13 15:21:24

A girl I work with is still banging on about an operation she had on her knee five years ago. I don't think a day goes by that she doesn't mention it. It is also trotted out as an excuse not to have to stand around at events handing our brochures etc and to be given a nice cushy sitting down job.

Dawndonna Mon 24-Jun-13 15:23:21

Have a word with her.
The last time I saw a friend, an aquaintanceturned up. Now, everybody knew said friend was dying, she had a brain tumour, she'd recently given up the flower club and her babysitting voluntary work. We knew she only had a couple of weeks and this would more than likely be the last coffee not in a hospice. Aquaintance turned up and moaned like fuck about how difficult her very easy life was, how stressful moving home was (round the corner into my house, I was going elsewhere), and how difficult her spoilt brats were becoming. It was the last time I saw my friend out of the hospice and compos mentis, she died some three weeks later. I have never, ever forgiven that bloody woman.

Manchesterhistorygirl Mon 24-Jun-13 15:30:14

I have an acquaintance like this, she's always having a drama or a crisis and tagging onto people's grief so she can be the big person! I no longer have anything to do with her because her actions are abhorrent.

jeanmiguelfangio Mon 24-Jun-13 15:32:06

my ILs are like this. Drama Llamas the lot of them. They do my head in. Although I just smile politely.
After giving birth, you would swear that they had done the labour not me, at a week after birth, I was sitting on the floor in my own house with third degree tears because no one else could sit on the floor due to x,y or z. (dh also on floor as was baby)

QOD Mon 24-Jun-13 15:36:35

Oh now I've had this today, colleague in at the weekend with me, something happened n Friday and drama drama llama ... We discussed it, came up with what to do next and also sorted out a shift she had problems with.

Back into work today .... It was like the weekend hadn't happened, we had tears and trauma and hysteria. Honest to god, I don't know what would happen in a real emergency.

vintageclock Mon 24-Jun-13 15:48:53

Glad everyone's in agreement with me. Some people really need to learn that they're not the star of every soap opera in town and no, going around with doleful eyes because the next door neighbour's dog died does not make you a tragic figure; it makes you a right looking eejit.

vintageclock Mon 24-Jun-13 15:50:05

Sorry, meant to say glad everyone's in agreement (full stop). Just want to make myself the star of everyone else's threads grin.

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