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AIBU?

AIBU to think Nigella has no right to feel frustrated?

231 replies

GiveMumABreak · 23/06/2013 21:25

'Nigella feels frustrated that the whole world has an opinion about something she feels is a private situation.'

'Nigella feels her hand has been forced.'

'Nigella told friends she wants to rebuild her troubled relationship with millionaire art collector Mr Saatchi and insisted: 'I am not some sort of battered wife.'

AIBU to think: She is a celebrity chef (and role model)who had her photo taken in a public place. We are shocked and concerned - not just nosey, or should the whole world just mind their own business (as she would clearly prefer)?

article here

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saintmerryweather · 23/06/2013 21:26

shes entitled to her feelings surely?

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Shakey1500 · 23/06/2013 21:27

I think she has a right to feel however she feels?

Whatever the situation, I think I would also feel Hmm that seemingly thousands of people are discussing my business.

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pictish · 23/06/2013 21:27

I think Nigella has every right to feel however she pleases about it.
I don't agree with her...but her feelings are her right to have. Her marriage is not actually public property however much we might dissaprove of it.

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MrGeresHamster · 23/06/2013 21:27

YABU, she has a right to be frustrated that all and sundry have an opinion on her personal life. If she is in an abusive relationship, the scrutiny doesn't necessarily give her an easy way out...

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AKissIsNotAContract · 23/06/2013 21:28

YABU to post a link to the DM without a warning.

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Buzzardbird · 23/06/2013 21:28

She is entitled to her feelings as disallusioned as they might be

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FourEyesGood · 23/06/2013 21:28

I read an interesting piece in the Guardian over the weekend that suggested that any victim of domestic violence should not be put under pressure to respond in any way at all; that it should be entirely in her hands. It is her situation and her decision. Just because someone is in the public eye it does not mean that the public should be allowed to make huge decisions on his/her behalf.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 23/06/2013 21:30

Yabu

Were she not in the public eye she would not have to contend with complete and utter strangers talking about her on websites like this.

She doesn't have to like the everybody feels they know better than her what she should so next.

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IrisScentedCandle · 23/06/2013 21:30

I get what you're saying but if she was thinking clearly she would already have left him. Her thinking is distorted because she has normalised the abuse.

The night I left my abusive x, I cried because he would feel sorry for himself. She'll get there, I hope. But denial is a force field that disintegrate overnight.

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IrisScentedCandle · 23/06/2013 21:30

that doesn't disintegrate over night I mean

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Pagwatch · 23/06/2013 21:30

Jesus Christ. Leave the woman alone.

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GiveMumABreak · 23/06/2013 21:31

Oops I didn't realise bout the link to //blush

Seems IABU //blush

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squeakytoy · 23/06/2013 21:31

She was eating a meal in private, she has every right to expect the paparazzi not to be zooming their lenses in on her while she goes about her private life.

None of us other than her, and her husband, know what was going on.

If she had been in front of a camera being officially filmed it would be different, but that was not the case.

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squeakytoy · 23/06/2013 21:33

"I get what you're saying but if she was thinking clearly she would already have left him. Her thinking is distorted because she has normalised the abuse"

again, unless you know her personally and have witnessed any incidents then that is just idle speculation

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dozily · 23/06/2013 21:34

I haven't read it, but did she really say these things ot are they all from so-called "friends"?

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GiveMumABreak · 23/06/2013 21:35

I suppose you are quite right iris she will get to where she does in her own good time, even though her hand has been forced by these photos (which were taken in a public place, not a long lense into their home / garden etc)

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ManifestoMT · 23/06/2013 21:35

Billie holiday sums it up I think

Ain't Nobody's Business if I Do"

There ain't nothin' I can do or nothin' I can say
That folks don't criticize me but I'm going to do
Just as I want to anyway
And don't care just what people say

If I should take a notion, to jump into the ocean
Ain't nobody's business if I do
If I go to church on Sunday, then cabaret all day Monday
Ain't nobody's business if I do

If my man ain't got no money and I say, "Take all of mine, honey"

Ain't nobody's business if I do
If I give him my last nickel and it leaves me in a pickle
Ain't nobody's business if I do

Well, I'd rather my man would hit me
Than follow him to jump up and quit me
Ain't nobody's business if I do
I swear I won't call no copper, if I'm beat up by my papa
Ain't nobody's business if I do, nobody's business
Ain't nobody's business, nobody's business if I do

m.youtube.com/watch?v=rVwxCRy2jfI

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Purple2012 · 23/06/2013 21:36

Yabu. It's not that simple for victims of abuse

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Curiositykilledthecrap · 23/06/2013 21:37

Why did that guy not pack the suitcase properly? Bit indiscreet?

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IrisScentedCandle · 23/06/2013 21:37

Right squeakytoy, so she hasn't normalised the abuse then. Confused Hmm

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fengirl1 · 23/06/2013 21:37

What Pag said. The poor woman has enough to deal with.

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squeakytoy · 23/06/2013 21:40

How do you know she has Iris? How exactly?

I am not saying that this was abuse, I am not saying it wasnt, because all I have seen is the same as you.. a few papparazzi shots that prove nothing at all.

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IrisScentedCandle · 23/06/2013 21:41

ps, and her husband doesn't know what was going on ffs. He believes it was a playful tiff, and he 'was there'. This obsession by the apologists for 'being there'. The photos show us what happened. There's no angle or explanation that makes it suddenly ok.

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GiveMumABreak · 23/06/2013 21:41

But squeaky...a public personality in a public restaurant, I don't think privacy can be expected.

Yes dozily as you say, so called "friends" made those statements Hmm

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Follyfoot · 23/06/2013 21:43

YABU. The public now know some of what is going on in her life, how absolutely horrible for her. Public 'shock and concern' is of no help to her and probably increases her humiliation.

My DV case was in the local papers, and on one occasion was the headline news. You cannot imagine how degrading it is to have your personal life picked over by other people.

I hope she finds the courage and support to do the right thing, but as has been said, that decision should be in her hands alone.

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