The daughter I knew is dead - what a thing say!

(281 Posts)
Animation Sat 22-Jun-13 14:39:59

Can't help but think that the mother's words and attitude to her daughter, and apparently they don't speak, could be as damaging as Jeremy Forrest's behaviour towards her.
Am I unreasonable in thinking this??

NoobyNoob Sat 22-Jun-13 15:08:54

Anyway, I digress from the original thread and I'm not getting into it here.

5madthings Sat 22-Jun-13 15:09:38

He started a relationship with her when she was 14, it doesnt matter that she was kicking and screaming she was manipukated by an authority figure fgs.

noobyNoob Have you heard of the term grooming?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 22-Jun-13 15:10:06

Nah

Imdon't want to get into it either

Crashdoll. Sorry, i didn't mean to have a go at you

expatinscotland Sat 22-Jun-13 15:10:17

I thought the same thing. But my daughter really is. I can promise her, there's the world of difference.

MrsDeVere Sat 22-Jun-13 15:11:50

I am usually the first to jump on pathetic, whingy comparisons with having a dead child.
Because I have a dead child. Nothing is 'like' having a dead child apart from actually having one.

So I was ready to be angry at this woman. But I have heard more of her statement and what she seems to be saying is that this abuser robbed her of her DD's childhood and changed her forever.

Which makes total sense to me.

NoobyNoob Sat 22-Jun-13 15:12:26

Yes I have singingsilver

Have you ever heard the phrase 'it takes two to tango'?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 22-Jun-13 15:14:13

Nooby

You are either deliberatley goading or need to educate yourself a bit

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 22-Jun-13 15:16:28

It doesn't seem like the mother in question ever knew or cared to know her daughter. There has been an epic parenting fail. The poor girl has been let down left, right and centre.

expatinscotland Sat 22-Jun-13 15:16:33

I read the statement, too, and thought that phrase was still ill-thought-out at the least.

I thought she was mourning the 'death' of the person that the girl would have been, the life she would have had, and the relationship she could have had with her dd, had this evil man not have manipulated her dd into a 'relationship'.

bico Sat 22-Jun-13 15:17:16

I assume there is more to this girl's background than has been made public for the mother to say something so hurtful about her daughter.

I haven't read the article but I understand the phrase was written in what is supposed to be the victim impact statement. The girl is the victim here not her mother but maybe her mother wrote the statement because the girl refused to do so?

expatinscotland Sat 22-Jun-13 15:17:21

It does appear, too, that this young woman was let down by a lot of adults, on top of being sexually abused by the teacher.

5madthings Sat 22-Jun-13 15:17:30

Omfg nooby she was a vulnerable child and he was an adult in the position of responsibility,there shoukd be no 'tangoing' ever as he shouldnt allow himself to get into that situation!! I suspect you are the kind of person that thinks some girls were 'asking for it' when they are raped.

Quit with the victim blaming!!

MadBusLady Sat 22-Jun-13 15:19:25

Having read the whole of the link Jamie posted, I think there's much that is ambiguous about the mother's position, probably much context we do not know. And regardless it is still a very unpleasant choice of words.

Dawndonna Sat 22-Jun-13 15:19:32

Woah there - Don't get your knickers in a twist 5madthings

And yes, I have been reading the news - not the threads. She was nearly 16 years old, she was hardly dragged there kicking and screaming now was she?

So my opinion is that she is also to blame.
So you think that a 14 year old, vulnerable, self harming, with eating disorders is capable of making this sort of decision?
You're not bothered that he tried to groom others before this? Nothing to do with him being a predatory teacher who is not, by law allowed to have a relationship with a pupil, much less a pupil under the age of 18?

Idrinksquash Sat 22-Jun-13 15:19:40

And what made you privvy to that info then 5madthings?

Helpyourself Sat 22-Jun-13 15:21:25

Nooby have you heard of the age of consent?
Resisting the urge to look you up- some people should have to pass an exam before they're allowed children. I just hope you do a lot of growing up before your dcs can understand your warped thick world view.

crashdoll Sat 22-Jun-13 15:21:40

I did read the statement. I say I think it was nasty because I also read that the girl in question suffered with self-harming and low mood previously. She is vulnerable because of this, in addition to her age and now being in the public eye.

squeakytoy Sat 22-Jun-13 15:25:26

it is in the press for anyone to read..

MrsDeVere Sat 22-Jun-13 15:25:42

The man groomed a vulnerable child from the age of 14.

He had sex with her when she was just 15

He is in a post ion of influence and power.

He tried it with other girls.

There is no tangoing going on.

Just the abuse of a child and abuse of power.

It takes two to tango is a phrase used, like 'no smoke without fire', instead of cogent thought.

It is meaningless and only serves to highlight the user's lack of critical thinking skills.

IMHO smile

5madthings Sat 22-Jun-13 15:26:49

Privacy to what info? Watch the news and read, there is an investigation by the police.

Animation Sat 22-Jun-13 15:27:29

The statement from the mother and the estrangement does not reassure me that the daughter is as well supported as I had hoped.

The statement feels critical of the daughter and it focuses on the mother's ordeal rather than on the daughter's struggles. The daughter is the victim not the mother and yes, Jeremy Forrest is the perpetrator but the mother irritates me.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 22-Jun-13 15:27:51

MrsDV

Yes, and it's probably Political Correctness Gorn Mad as well

NoobyNoob Sat 22-Jun-13 15:28:05

I love how I'm jumped on for having a different opinion! It really is pathetic.

I suspect you are the kind of person that thinks some girls were 'asking for it' when they are raped this comment from you 5madthing is fucking disgusting. Of course I don't, and if you knew me you certainly wouldn't think that.

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