Okay so ordinarily I would imagine anyone saying that to be a card carrying nutto control freak....but...
I have tried...I really have...to make peace with the "can I help you with your packing" charity collecting gang that seem to be perpetually staking out the end of the tills in my local super market. I have tried to not feel imposed upon that I have to defend my right to pack my own bloody shopping while being made to feel guilty about it....
I have a system when packing...designed to get through the hairy bit before my toddler time bomb detonates as rapidly as possible. It is fast, it is efficient and it is my fucking shopping anyway (I digress).
So I have learnt to say, oh so very politely, that "no, I would not like any help with my packing". Which is exactly what I said today.
Normally this results in the charity packer moving out of the way, or even going to a different till end to help out there for a while...but not today.
Today's charity packing woman is determined to "own the space" at the end of the conveyor so that I cannot actually park my trolley there while..you know...packing my stuff into it.
So I take the first two items and slot them into their assigned bags. When I look up she holding my quiche (well this is an MN story after all). She is looking at the bags like "which one does this go in", I look at her like "you don't know because it's MY fucking system" and hold out my hand for the quiche and file it correctly. The 4th and 5th items go in fine...but then one of my bags falls over and the extra second it takes me to right it, affords my nemesis the chance to snatch my eggs. I feel I cannot let this go without comment...so I not only hold my hand out to receive the eggs but remind the woman that " no, really I prefer to do this myself".
Things progress apace, without intervention, and I begin to relax, feeling the battle has been won. I then do what I always do, which is leave the soft squishy bread out on the end of the conveyor while I pack the heavier items first. This is a fatal mistake as it leads the charity packer to believe that some sort of cataclysmic packing failure has occurred that, presumably, can only be corrected with her assistance. She seizes this golden opportunity with both hands and proudly dumps my bread into the fridge back (on top of the milk and next to the raw meat etc.) and beams wildly in triumph.
Which is when I say the thing that no sane person in the history of the world has ever said.
""will you please stop touching my shopping?"
Is this it? Have I left sanity behind? AIBU?
AIBU?
to have found myself saying "will you please stop touching my shopping?"
ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 13:39
I always say no too, I don't want some gormless adolescent putting the potatoes on top of the eggs.
However I always use the excuse that my DS1 has bad food allergies and I am very fussy about where I put stuff in my bags. Which is true
If I had explained that and someone didn't listen and chucked a pint of milk or tub of dairy ice cream in a bag with DS1 stuff in it, I would (if in a bad mood) insist the shop replaced it all. Ha! 
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I got so stressed reading that 
my ds is really hard work, the packing of my shopping is my military precision type job - i had a grown up boy scout last month try to pack i 'taught' him how to pack my shopping (not hard, cupboard food, fridge, freezer, toddler snacks, fruit etc)... he avoided me the next time
Haven't a clue why 
he did offer to help!
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