daughter given choc cake at scool, she is allergic to cows' milk.

(201 Posts)
MyNameIsRio Sat 22-Jun-13 08:03:45

That. They all know. Had their new teacher (who they will be having next year) for Fri afternoon and she was given birthday cake. Her own teacher has a stack of her own snacks. Now do I write to new teacher and headteacher?

trixymalixy Sat 22-Jun-13 09:31:33

It's not the end of the world as no harm done, this time. But reactions can get more severe with every exposure. She needs to tell them that they gave her allergic daughter milk and ask them to take more care.

trixymalixy Sat 22-Jun-13 09:34:08

And there is nothing more irritating than being asked if your child's allergies are "real" FFS. I wish people would take it a bit more bloody seriously. Although it's the so called "islington intolerants" I blame mainly.

kelda Sat 22-Jun-13 09:36:12

Good point trixy.

I think 'not the end of the world' is rather patronising.

My baby had a reaction to kiwi at his creche. They knew he was allergic. Now it wasn't the end of the world because he didn't have an anaphylactic reaction and die.

But his eczema flared up, and it was ages before I got it under control again, causing many sleepless nights because of the itching.

I told the creche and it didn't happen again.

harverina Sat 22-Jun-13 09:36:58

It is the head teachers responsibility to tell any new members of staff about individual children's needs.

Someone said up thread that they wouldn't make too much fuss over an upset tummy but what if she had an anaphylactic reaction? Allergies are unpredictable and this is possible so I think you should be making it clear how unhappy you are.

This is why I am terrified about my dd going to nursery - she is 3 and knows what her allergies are but it is too much of a responsibility on children so young to be able to work out what ingredients are in heir food. They do not have the ability to do this consistently and a responsible adult should be making sure that anything they eat is "safe".

TheSecondComing Sat 22-Jun-13 09:38:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Sat 22-Jun-13 09:41:29

The old teacher should have passed the imformation on. I wouldn't kick off but I would have a quiet word with both. In future it may be worth talking to the next years teacher as soon as classes are confirmed so you know they are fully aware.

I do agree it would help if she learnt to ask if something was ok. DS is 3 and has asthma but can ask for his inhaler when needed and is starting to know what will make his "chest sore"

kelda Sat 22-Jun-13 09:42:51

The OP had already siad that her dd had been tested four times.

This is why mistakes happen, because this thread shows that there is a disbelief about allergies.

Nerfmother Sat 22-Jun-13 09:44:19

Hopefully she will grow out of it soon , but I would just email the school and ask for staff to be reminded because she had an unpleasant reaction and you'd like to avoid this.

Sirzy Sat 22-Jun-13 09:45:24

I don't think it's a disbelief, more the problem of so many people who are mildly intolerant make a fuss about it being an allergy meaning that it a) confuses people who aren't as aware about allergies and b) makes it harder for people with true allergies to be understood.

MrsBrownsGirl Sat 22-Jun-13 09:46:04

My friend is intolerant to cows milk but can small have amounts of butter, cheese etc, seems that as soon as dairy is processed her body is ok with it. Not saying the teacher shouldn't have checked but it's easy to get confused with who can have what.

Also a lot of shop bought cakes (especially chocolate ones) are made with vegetable fat, they use butter for things like posh Victoria sponges, proudly proclaim it all over the packaging and hike the price up accordingly!

KobayashiMaru Sat 22-Jun-13 09:48:17

seems like they did you a favour and tested her for you. A slighty stomach upset suggests that the allergy is no more.

MyNameIsRio Sat 22-Jun-13 09:48:59

Thank you for your replies. I appreciate them. It is hard for me; I feel my daughter is overlooked because of how quiet/shy she is. It is frustrating to have people question whether it is a "real" allergy. I don't understand what The Second Coming meant when you said: "Although you could see your arse about her ALLERGY (or mild diarrhoea)" . I wonder if you could explain. Thank you.

lljkk Sat 22-Jun-13 09:49:12

It's a breakdown in comms at the school, I would calmly point it out to them (preferably in writing). Next time it could happen to a child who has more severe reactions. They'll be horrified at that prospect.

lljkk Sat 22-Jun-13 09:49:33

ps: good that your child had such a mild reaction this time, though. Hopefully it's a sign that she might outgrow it.

MyNameIsRio Sat 22-Jun-13 09:50:06

Seems like they did you a favour Kobya? What?

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 22-Jun-13 09:52:02

Definitely speak to them.

My DD was given egg once ..she has an Epipen for egg. I was not impressed.

Am not able to educate DD about her.allergies and she can't speak, mind you.

kelda Sat 22-Jun-13 09:53:19

I do sympathesise. My ds is also four and very quiet, very hard to understand, and he also cannot speak up for himself (in fact he has mild SN). It makes you very protective of them.

Although I'm sure there are some parents who would be very dismissive and sarcastic of that too.

KobayashiMaru Sat 22-Jun-13 09:54:32

I've got a child with allergies, they don't tend to cause such a mild response. I'd be pretty pleased if I were you.
And it was a new teacher who obviously didn't know. It happens, get over it.

ClaimedByMe Sat 22-Jun-13 09:55:11

I found it easier to drum into ds to ask school/clubs/friends mums if what they are feeding him has blackcurrants/blackberries in and he asks them to check the ingredients, he has been asking since starting nursery at 3, I must admit the nursery and school (he is 8 now) have been very good, his teacher called me the other day asking if he was allowed blueberries just to double check.

I have lost count of the amount of things I have gave him without checking, strawberry yoghurt being the worst culprit blush

MyNameIsRio Sat 22-Jun-13 09:55:54

Kelda, not me. Thank you.

jamdonut Sat 22-Jun-13 09:57:10

Mention it.
They will be mortified, I'm sure.
Teachers wouldn't do that on purpose. Obviously it is an oversight and no harm done this time,but it should have been something they were aware of.
We tend to know who has allergies/conditions in our year group because every time we go on a school trip we have to go through the list and write them all down on the risk assessment forms.

imustbepatient Sat 22-Jun-13 09:58:00

OP I feel really sorry for your poor DD. my SIL nephew and niece are all allergic to cows milk and anything made from cows milk. I'm surprised too at the number of people (on this thread and real life) who don't understand what cows milk is in, eg butter, cheese, chocolate etc. my poor SIL is very clear whenever she is ordering food in a restaurant to explain her allergy, list lots of things milk is in (eg ghee) but still gets served milk from time to time and then has a week of being miserable with migraines, vomiting and diarrhoea. Someone told her a cake was dairy free once. Apart from the white chocolate which the person didn't realise has dairy in it!

For my SIL it is only cows milk products she cant have. Sheep and goats milk is fine.

edam Sat 22-Jun-13 09:58:22

It must be deeply frustrating that even on this thread, even some posters with children with allergies are questioning whether this is real. FFS.

Just because they have a friend who has a mild reaction to whatever food, just because your daughter's reaction was mild this time...

Listen allergy deniers, your friend isn't the template for all allergies! Next time the poor lass could have a very serious reaction.

I have epilepsy that is controlled by medication, it doesn't mean my friends get to dismiss anyone else with epilepsy and claim it isn't a serious or dangerous condition. Some people are profoundly affected by epilepsy, to the point of it being severely disabling or life threatening. And although thankfully I'm at low risk, it doesn't mean I couldn't have a seizure out of the blue and injure myself or, worse, go into status epilepticus which is a real, life-threatening emergency.

kelda Sat 22-Jun-13 09:59:53

This thread does read like a game of 'well my allergy is worse then yours'.

You would think the other parents of allergic children would be more supportive, not less.

TheSecondComing Sat 22-Jun-13 10:00:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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