AIBU to think anyone calling a woman a slut is very disgusting?

(106 Posts)

It's just disgusting. Whether a man is calling a woman a slut, or another woman is - I think it's completely degrading and nasty.

I understand some women can be homewreckers and she may be a bitch, or a cow but am I the only one who thinks that calling someone a slut is just beyond disgusting?

You don't know what a woman has gone through. Perhaps she's a little bit flirty or has been with more men than most women, but you don't know why she feels that way. Even if she has 'stolen' someone away from a man, it shows her state of mind (messed up and not able to get her own man) so I honestly feel sorry for those types.

So AIBU to find calling someone a slut completely disgusting?

<waits to be told IABU and it's OK if I am>

fromparistoberlin Fri 21-Jun-13 17:05:17

cunt, for me a non gender specific insult

cory Fri 21-Jun-13 16:30:11

It seems to me that a man who sleeps with somebody else's partner will be labelled with the word "bastard", a generic word of opprobrium for people who treat others badly.

A woman who sleeps with somebody else's partner will be labelled "slut", a generic word of opprobrium for women who are considered to have too much sex.

I am sure this says something about the perceived nature of the offence. The man shouldn't have been injuring the other man. The woman shouldn't have been sleeping around. hmm

tootdelafruit Fri 21-Jun-13 16:20:22

"curious, how do we insult women then!!!! "

I don't really consider gender when i'm insulting someone (tbh I don't really insult people but I will mutter under my breath sometimes) it depends more on what they've done. asshole, scumbag, wanker, nasty fucker, piece of shit (exp).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 16:11:01

You might only do it when you're driving, fromparis, other people don't.

I'd say that until we can find and use words with the same level of vitriol for men then we shouldn't use them for women. Does that work?

fromparistoberlin Fri 21-Jun-13 15:57:18

"Yet, when those children grow up, they hear us calling other people names with abandon. "

only when I drive lyingwitch!!!!

I just dont think we can do a moratorium on all rude words as they might be sexist...?!

cory Fri 21-Jun-13 14:55:07

What the word slut does very clearly is to spell out that multiple sexual relationship are not permissible if you are a woman.

You don't need to sleep with somebody else's husband or boyfriend to be called a slut: casual and frequent sex with unattached men will do the same thing. Recent case in the vicinity involved a teen girl who had had three successive boyfriends <keels over in horror>.

There is no similar pejorative word to be used of a man simply for having lots of sex.

Which is funny as most sex probably is heterosexual: these female sluts have to be sleeping with someone.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 14:44:47

Sorry fromparis... just realised you might not have been replying to my post. blush

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 14:43:31

fromparistoberlin (have that song in my head now, thanks for that!) grin

I don't know, it's a good question. I just can't get past the fact that when we have children we do not call them names nor allow others to do so. When they do things wrong we leap to their defence and set upon anybody who comits the cardinal sin of criticising the child, not their behaviour.

Yet, when those children grow up, they hear us calling other people names with abandon. How does that make sense? What example are we setting? Don't tell me that the children don't hear these names and us calling them, they do. We give them the message that it's fine to do that.

When those self-same children are adults and 'misbehave' they will be called names by some and treated as derogatory beings. Not nice and it really says everything about the name-caller. When people gossip to me about people I know and call them names I walk away. Whatever the behaviour was, nobody warrants those names... and it is ALWAYS towards women and mostly by other women. I don't like it.

themaltesecat Fri 21-Jun-13 14:43:31

YANBU. The word screams disgusting American puritanism to me.

(Cannot comment on the "messy bugger" sense. We don't have that in NZ, as far as I know.)

fromparistoberlin Fri 21-Jun-13 14:25:22

curious, how do we insult women then!!!!

we are not angels, we lose out tempers, and call people names

I have been know to use the terms bitch, cow and cunt

Altough I get what you mean about slut, its a bit like slag too which I dont like either

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 13:35:41

It's bitch, isn't it, fedup?

We don't use it in the office but I think it sounds quite fluffy compared to our English versions.

I'm rolling my eyes at the posters justifying the use of these horrid names against women by 'pretending' that they use them for themselves and have their partners/friends do so in an attempt to make them acceptable. They aren't. It's pathetic. Please stop using them, they're horrible, horrible names and people will judge you for using them.

A former colleague of mine used the French version of the word (salope) about someone in the office. He no longer works for us. In that country (not France) it is grossly offensive.

tootdelafruit Fri 21-Jun-13 13:03:36

what's wrong with numerous partners? confused

seventiesgirl Thu 20-Jun-13 23:16:29

I read my 4yo a Roald Dahl poem about Cinderella last night in which the ugly sisters called her a slut grin

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 23:07:43

disappearing the loss of any tact is very common. My FIl asked a carer if she'd like to share a bath with him yesterday... before Alzheimer's he was a true gent, now he tries to cop a feel at every opportunity. sad

Disappearing Thu 20-Jun-13 23:05:51

My very elderly gran has carers who pop in twice a day to sort out her medication etc. She's taken to calling them sluts, indiscreetly. It's mortifying. I could start a whole other thread about my gran.

I'd never heard the word used in the way of lazy slattern. I'm pretty sure that's not my gran's meaning of it either.

Funny thing is, she's always been like this, holier than thou and extremely judgemental. Now that she has dementia, she's just lost any tact that she ever had (not much!)

sad

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 23:05:21

Oooh does it Sigmund I have very weird cunts.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 23:04:35

Nasty little worm probably.. I'd be too cross to be too sweary at first, that calm rage, utter destruction... knowing my I'd say "well you're not very nice!" in shock, once it had festered a while I'd probably use every horrible word I ever learned.

I do remember catching an ex (not an ex at the time) in bed with a supposed friends and saying "Oh. Hello. Sorry!!". blush

The rage hadn't had time to bring out the potty mouth.

thequeenmary Thu 20-Jun-13 23:04:04

I enjoy using 'bastard' as a unisex insult, and as an adjective. I also frequently call men 'tarts' although not always in a sexual context.

As for the c word, who can forget the immortal line - 'MONTY YOU TERRIBLE CUNT!'

Also like the phrase 'a cunt's trick' to describe a particularly underhand practice. Many Conservative policies come under this umbrella, I feel.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 22:59:54

Cunt is a primitive word. It means toe in Gaelic.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:51:29

grin @ sheshe. I like cunt too. It covers almost every possible combination of requirements for a word. Obviously one should not use it in conversation with the Vicar or potential employer but otherwise - what's not to love about it?

Sheshelob Thu 20-Jun-13 22:48:28

I love cunt. Love it. I use it daily. Hourly, almost.

We had a great thread about the word cunt the other day, but then it all got a bit stalkery and it died. Shame.

HappyMummyOfOne Thu 20-Jun-13 22:44:05

Hate the C word and never use it. Slut or Tart i use for both men and women though if they have numerous partners.

Sheshelob Thu 20-Jun-13 22:35:57

No, Malcolm, you massive taRt.

<shields husband from Malcolm's advances as he is but a poor man who is held hostage by his "urges">

Find your own fisherman.

<strokes DH Birdseye beard, while eyeballing Malcolm>

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:29:04

Oh come on sheshe - just let me have a little go? grin

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