AIBU to think anyone calling a woman a slut is very disgusting?

(106 Posts)

It's just disgusting. Whether a man is calling a woman a slut, or another woman is - I think it's completely degrading and nasty.

I understand some women can be homewreckers and she may be a bitch, or a cow but am I the only one who thinks that calling someone a slut is just beyond disgusting?

You don't know what a woman has gone through. Perhaps she's a little bit flirty or has been with more men than most women, but you don't know why she feels that way. Even if she has 'stolen' someone away from a man, it shows her state of mind (messed up and not able to get her own man) so I honestly feel sorry for those types.

So AIBU to find calling someone a slut completely disgusting?

<waits to be told IABU and it's OK if I am>

tootdelafruit Thu 20-Jun-13 20:59:28

xposting.

cross post tootdelafruit

Oxen Thu 20-Jun-13 21:01:33

sticks n stones and all that

I've used it before, I've had it used against me.

Doesn't mean I am one, and it certainly doesn't affect how I feel.

<shrugs>

SoniaGluck Thu 20-Jun-13 21:02:07

"yea well she deserves it, she's a slut anyway, and her cooking show is shit, so who cares"

shock. My God. I have no words.

tootdelafruit Thu 20-Jun-13 21:07:27

I have noticed a trend over the past few years with younger people of calling someone a slut- but not to mean "you sleep with lots of people" but just as a really nasty insult. sort of in the same way they would use cunt. it's used for the effect rather than to imply you are anything. does that make sense?

WMittens Thu 20-Jun-13 21:19:42

"And its vitriol reserved purely for women,"

I'm probably on my own but I don't see it that way - I sometimes refer to a promiscuous man as a slut or a slag.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 21:22:34

If I want to offend a woman, show my loathing for her, judge her, despise her, I will call her a slut, or a skank.

It's an offense I don't take lightly, it's mean, it's low, it's horrid.

But I can think of one person in my life who'd I'd happily refer to as such. It's not big or clever though, and as with many vile insults, should be absolutely meant if used, I'd never use it flippantly... and it's not a word I'd use in connection with someone who simply enjoys sex.

But bitch that's different for me. Bitch can be good. Bitch can be almost jovial. Bitch can be bad too. I was a 'bitch' yesterday, in all it's meanings, and it felt GOOD, and had someone said I'd been one, I'd have said "Hell yeah!".

Nasty put downs are never 'nice'. I do agree that vile insults are too freely spread about the place. I try to reserve the worst for when I really REALLY mean them, which fortunately isn't all that often.

shufflehopstep Thu 20-Jun-13 21:22:55

I remember my mum calling me a slut because I hadn't cleaned my bedroom when I was about 14 or 15 and I was horrified because I had only ever heard it used about women who slept around!

I do think it's bad that there are more derogatory words about women than there are about men and I also dislike the fact that a lot of them are to do with sexual promiscuity (why can't a single woman sleep around? It's perfectly reasonable to me providing she's responsible and is doing it of her own free will), but I don't particularly have a problem with calling people names, generally. It's part of language and you're always going to meet people you don't like and who piss you off and it's quite a good way to let off steam ... much better than physically attacking someone.

Male words: I think "bastard" is a pretty reasonable alternative to "bitch". I tend to use them in the same context. Other words are "knobhead", "dickhead", "wanker", "prick" (seems to be a bit of a theme running through a lot of these), "shit" (as in "he's a real xxxx"), "arsehole" (just getting carried away now and enjoying writing lots of swear words). grin Of course you've also got "cunt" and "twat" which somehow are much worse names to call people. I don't really get why that is (although I have used both of these on more than one occasion and found it very satisfying).

Not able to get her own man? Umm that phrase isn't so amazing either.

MorrisZapp Thu 20-Jun-13 21:26:11

I hate all these phrases, including homewrecker. They are inherently sexist because no equivalent exists to describe men who do the same thing.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 20-Jun-13 21:26:51

I don't like it and I wouldn't do it. To me its the same as people who refer to their daughters as little bitches ( and yes I've had this said to me about a under 2 this week) but wouldn't dream of calling their son any thing negative.

DownstairsMixUp Thu 20-Jun-13 21:27:54

tootdelafruit Agree, def noticed a trend with it. I have the (if you see it as this) misfortune of having some cousins/OH's younger cousins on FB and they use the term slut a lot to insult people they don't like. Same with whore. Though I've noticed they say "man whore" or "man slut" if saying it about a guy. I don't like the term either way!

thebody Thu 20-Jun-13 21:30:41

My mum used to say me and dsis were slutty and skater key if our rooms were a mess. She's welsh if that is the reason?

Many words are nasty for men and women.

Don't see slut any worse than slag or knob.

Just silly really.

Ah yes, it used to be slag when I was young.

A promiscuous man might be called a player, no? But the connotations are very different from slut.

Malen What I meant was I can understand why someone might call someone those things. I wouldn't for the same reasons you have mentioned. It's not like someone puts a spell on someone - the other person chooses to go off with the other woman/man. It's in fact the cheater who is a homewrecker, if you see what I mean. I am just stating what many people think. I do feel sorry for anyone though who tries to get with someone who they know is married or in a relationship though as they should really set their sights higher so yes in that aspect they should get a man/woman for themselves, not someone else's.

I don't think you can be 'stolen' from someone, though. Stolen would give the impression that you are owned by someone and marriage isn't about owning someone.

I worded it wrong, sorry about that.

But yes any insulting words to describe someone is just rotten unless you are doing it in jest and know the person will take it as a joke.

I would call a man a cow and have done before actually smile He didn't take too kindly to it but he shouldn't be bitchy.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:37:20

Is there a list of acceptable insults for women who shag other women's DH's then? Maybe 'outside of marriage conjugal facilitator' or 'extra-marital intercourse enabler' or 'wedded tedium alleviator'.

Maybe we should ask the OW what she would prefer to be called, respectfully, of course.

oxen I know it doesn't mean you are one, but it's not really necessary is it?

valiumredhead Thu 20-Jun-13 21:39:00

I think bitch is much worse.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Thu 20-Jun-13 21:39:39

Shit, that's totes my point, sig. My bad. When I came across like I objected to the OP coming across as judgy of other women (which she seems to understand alright), I must really have been meaning we should all respect cheaters. hmm

Thank goodness you were there to correct me, eh?

(Though I will admit 'outside of marriage conjugal facilitator' is pretty funny)

fedupofnamechanging Thu 20-Jun-13 21:41:36

I would use 'slut' to describe someone who shags indiscriminately - nothing wrong in sleeping with lots of people, but plenty wrong in not being choosy. By not being choosy, I mean women who sleep with other people's husbands etc. It might be a horrible word, but if the cap fits...

I think 'homewrecker' is more offensive - it implies that the man's cheating is all the woman's fault, like he had nothing to do with it!

I'd be more inclined to use 'skank' for someone who is dirty - be that in terms of physical hygiene or moral values.

SoniaGluck Thu 20-Jun-13 21:43:25

Sigmund Presumably the man has something to do with it. I mean it doesn't happen without his knowledge, does it?

Why reserve all the opprobrium for the woman involved?

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:45:08

'I must really have been meaning we should all respect cheaters'

How do we express our lack of respect and outright miffdness in a respectful non-judgy way then?

aldiwhore that was exactly what I was trying to put across yes.

like you I see bitch being quite jovial and silly, 'oh you were a bitch to Trish today' etc.

but we all take things differently.

I hate the c word but that's probably as I was brought up to hate the word and plus it reminds me of my very nasty ex.

I was just using that as an example I don't go about calling people a homewrecker.

I always thought calling someone a twat was jovial, too.

No set words that are ok or not ok it's just surely they are just horrible for doing it and the man or woman is even more so for cheating on their partner.

Besides most of the time people just call others 'sluts' willy nilly. It's especially annoying when teens just randomly assign the word.

fedupofnamechanging Thu 20-Jun-13 21:45:36

Meant to add that I have used 'skank' to describe both men and women - I think it's a gender neutral insult.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:47:40

'Why reserve all the opprobrium for the woman involved?'

Oh, we've already vented our judgiest judgments on THAT wanker. It was no holds barred there. No-one gave a shit what we called HIM. Sheesh.

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