To expect other drivers to be considerate enough to leave me room to get my baby in the car when they park?

(198 Posts)
VRBennett83 Thu 20-Jun-13 20:09:44

So this morning I went to the baby group I attend every Thursday, had a lovely time, then did a spot of shopping at the local shops before returning to my parked car, only to find a man driving a white van had parked so close to my passenger side that I couldn't get my four month old baby in! I had to climb into the back seat from the other side, whilst lifting the car seat with my little heavy lump in it. I even left the car at a slight angle just in case someone did park next to me, so I would have enough room, but he parked so close I could hardly get it open!

The man returns to his white van whilst I am putting my shopping away. I then start putting my pram down, and he starts inching his bonnet closer and closer to my bum, as he clearly thinks I am inconveniencing HIM and getting in HIS way! I make a point standing up and asking him if I am indeed in his way. He winds down the passenger side window and asks me if I have a problem. I point out that yes, I do. I told him he parked so close to my car that I had to struggle with my baby in through the wrong side of the car. Then what? Ah, yes, he gives ME the abuse! First he tells me I parked there after him. Erm, no mate. I parked up about two hours ago and parked in this space which was clear either side. He goes ranting on at me, I simply repeat that he had parked so chuffin close to my car I had to struggle with my baby and he tells me "Well I am in a van, you t**t". No, seriously. He appeared to believe that his having a wider vehicle meant that he had to give no consideration to how much room he leaves either side for others. He then told me that I shouldn't take it out on him if I had had a bad day. I promptly point out that I had had a lovely day until he came into my life.

I am so proud of myself for not swearing at him mind you.

Is it me or should people give me the same courtesy I give them? I never park in a space if I think it is too close to another car. What if that person was disabled and needed help getting into their car? Or what if, heaven forbid, that person had a baby and needed room to get that baby in the car? The amount of room he left me I wouldn't have got my dog in there! Is it also me being unreasonable to expect strangers to be polite to each other, apologise if they cause offence in some way and treat others as they wish to be treated?

Rant over smile

Pitmountainpony Thu 20-Jun-13 23:55:40

MY husband gets back and re parks if he is not positioned in the centre between the lines......he is pedantic on it as he says it is the highest twatishness to park badly. He has influenced me.
Yanbu.
White van man being a boorish inconsiderate twit.
Imagine some poor woman may be his partner. How people park tells you a lot about how considerate they are to their fellow humans.

ShellyBoobs Thu 20-Jun-13 23:56:21

YWBU.

he probably took into account the fact that he was close to your passenger side, not driver's side and hence you could have moved your car to make room.

A baby is not a disability.

Would you like to borrow a spare grip? I'm sure I have one you can try.

pinkyredrose Thu 20-Jun-13 23:57:48

sharri13 lots of cars have car seats but don't carry babies all the time.

ShellyBoobs Fri 21-Jun-13 00:01:01

Minty, look through the widow, car seat, baby stuff, it's really not hard to spot a car that regularly carries a child/ren.

Bollocks.

OP said there was a seat base, not a seat. You expect people to peer in through windows to check such things?

And as for 'a car that regularly carries a child'. WTF? You're suggesting that van man shouldn't park next to probably half of all the cars in the car park!

AnyoneforTurps Fri 21-Jun-13 00:06:07

I used to have to wrestle 3 under-5s into their seats in the back of a 3 door car. So not really feeling your pain at having to lean across a back seat once.

Goldenbear Fri 21-Jun-13 00:29:07

Good for you. Did you choose to have three under 5's?

The 'tart' comment says everything to me.

Goldenbear Fri 21-Jun-13 00:31:22

By all accounts they should've just parked properly in the space. Not hard to do - if you can drive competently!

MidniteScribbler Fri 21-Jun-13 02:38:05

I think the OP lost her moral high ground when she didn't park straight.

IsThisAGoodIdea Fri 21-Jun-13 03:01:46

I can't believe no-one thinks this guy sounds horribly aggressive and menacing. A lot of men out there say things to female drivers they would never dare say to male ones.

I cannot excuse his boorish behaviour OP and would have been cross too.

I am quite anally polite about parking too but, sadly, not everyone is.

Oh, I do actually think you having a baby to get in the car is irrelevant. That's your choice, nobody else's problem.

complexnumber Fri 21-Jun-13 04:19:01

"A lot of men out there say things to female drivers they would never dare say to male ones. "

Ho hum, it's his fault because he is a male.

Mimishimi Fri 21-Jun-13 06:36:50

When I used to park my car (recent prang by DH has relieved us of that moneypit), I never used to notice whether or not the car next to me had a childseat. Usually they don't protrude above the back seat. Only sometimes would I notice them after I had got out of my car but it never occurred to me "Oh let me go and repark the car so that they have enough room to get in" . However, I did try to park in the center between the lines and would always reverse and repark it if I was closer to one side than another. If someone went off at me for not giving them enough room and my car was center-parked between the lines, I'd probably call them a twat too (at least in my head grin). If I had parked on the line, I would probably only mutter an apology because I would be at fault.

BoneyBackJefferson Fri 21-Jun-13 06:37:10

IsThisAGoodIdea
"I can't believe no-one thinks this guy sounds horribly aggressive and menacing"

I doubt that the OP ctually said "chuffing" either.

OP
You parked badly and he parked badly.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 06:42:37

Where does it say he called her a tart?

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 06:46:26

When I park my car, I ensure I have enough space to get out of my side. If I am parked passenger side to passenger side with the car next door, then I pay no attention beyond making sure I am within the lines. Back problems mean I need to be able to open my door reasonably wide to get in and out with minimal physical discomfort.

He appeared to believe that his having a wider vehicle meant that he had to give no consideration to how much room he leaves either side for others

Well, a wider vehicle means that he will by default be leaving less space either side. That's not difficult to understand is it?

Goldenbear Fri 21-Jun-13 07:58:19

Yes but she said that he purposefully left a bigger gap his side so it is not automatically to do with the vastness of the vehicle.

The OP said he called her a t**t, I assume that she meant tart. She didn't say she called him anything. In my mind he has lost the argument in resorting to sexist/mysoginstic insults!

Sirzy Fri 21-Jun-13 08:08:48

He left a gap big enough he could get out. Surely that's what every driver does?

LittleBearPad Fri 21-Jun-13 08:10:14

Goldenbear most people will leave a bigger space on the drivers side. Passengers can always get in after the car is moved. By definition a van is bigger so will take up more room. The OP wasn't parked straight either and had a strop, I doubt she did say chuffing either. Neither behaved very well.

ChunkyPickle Fri 21-Jun-13 08:12:29

TBH, it was just a bad day - the spaces around here are so small that I've become expert at getting into the front seat from any door of my car, and luckily DS is now big enough that I can post him in to clamber into his seat virtually through a window if I have to (although he'd prefer to ride shut in the boot in the dark... strange child)

However I'm pregnant, and rapidly approaching the stage where those kinds of shenanigans are just not going to be possible, so I fully expect to come back to the car one day and have to sit there and wait for the person next to me to move their car first. It won't be their fault, I'll try to park so that won't be an issue, but it's going to happen.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 08:13:14

Yes but she said that he purposefully left a bigger gap his side so it is not automatically to do with the vastness of the vehicle.

Of course he did. How was he meant to get out? A big vehicle takes up more space in a parking space. Fairly basic stuff.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 08:18:17

In my mind he has lost the argument in resorting to sexist/mysoginstic insults!

I assumed he called her a twat. Because surely no one *s out the word tart? Whilst twat is slang for the female genitals it is an insult used for men and women alike and not insulting her for being a woman.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 08:20:14

Van Man was rude, OP was entitled and, I imagine, passive aggressive by the sound of it. [shrug]

Mintyy Fri 21-Jun-13 09:28:58

Oh am so glad I saw this thread! I am off out shopping soon. Before I park, I will get out of my car and look through the windows of the cars next to the space I want to check if there are car seats/baby seats in there. If there is one in the car to the left of me I will park closer to the right hand white line and vice versa. If there is a car seat in both then I will drive on and find somewhere else to park! If I come back and find a mother with the type of babyseat that you actually take out of the car (for newborns) struggling to get it in the car due to my parking I will be wracked with guilt hmm.

MrsMook Fri 21-Jun-13 09:52:17

I had a different car park next to me the other day during DC1's swimming lesson. They were parked at an angle making it difficult (but not impossible) to get DC2's seat in. I had to lift it over the door and drop it down. DC1's seat means I can't use/ access the other side. Worst case scenario, I have to pull out and then put the seat in.

Had anyone looked in the car (which you don't when manouvering) I don't know how you'd know there is a car seat missing as there's no isofix point (not an old car). Getting in the driver's seat was agan awkward, manly as I still need to be careful with my hips as my PGP is still lingering.

It's a pain, but I chose to park close to the building as it's easier running the risk of bad parking than parking at the far end of the car park and shifting an infant in a car seat, swimming kitbag for two and an overtired tantruming toddler who wants to play with the traffic. (I'm not sure that a Fiesta needed that much space on one side...)

DS1 is passenger side as it's easier for him to climb through (also safer kerb side when parking in a street), and DS2 is behind me so I have a better chance of space when I return to the car.

Sounds like the van driver was a bit of an arse. How arsey he was depends on if he had an option to park his large vehicle in an area of the carpark less likely to cause inconveience to others.

Goldenbear Fri 21-Jun-13 10:20:47

Looks like I wrongly stereotyped the Van Man involved by assuming he said 'Tart' but yes it must have been 'Twat'- so much better?

I'm unsure as to why common courtesy warrants the hmm face?

Goldenbear Fri 21-Jun-13 10:24:55

So passive aggressive is horrendous but outright aggression I.e name calling, is absolutely fine?

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