To not have paid.

(66 Posts)
Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 16:45:26

Last week I started a thread, about my little boy being bullied and that it was a friends child who was doing so, a fall out incurred and I've not spoken to the mother since then.

Friend owns a freind of ours a small amount of money (under 5) so I asked today if she could give dh it, as the person was asking for the money. (Dh would have seen her at pick up time)

She text me a hour later, stating that if I was going to be childish, then she was too.

Last week,(before the fallout) was her oldest child's birthday. I assumed she invited both of my children as she booked a lane for the smaller children and a lane for the older children, and also booked the table for the meal, for ALL children. No money was mentioned at all.

However apparently I must have some kind of telepathy as apparently I should have known she was a mum on benefits and I should have paid for my youngest meal.

So she paid for the both my children's bowling, and meals, however apparently I was supposed to pay for my youngest meal only.

So she's asked for the money back, which means I now owe her the amount I asked for.

My dh was at the party, she did not mention at all that he should have paid for our youngest meal/ nor did she ask for payment, we would have happily have paid for both children.

Aibu to have assumed I didn't pay for the party invitation?

Tbh I've paid her the difference now.

Squitten Thu 20-Jun-13 16:47:11

If your ex-friend owes someone else money, why on earth are you putting yourself into the middle of it?

SisterMatic Thu 20-Jun-13 16:49:01

Im confused.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 20-Jun-13 16:49:58

YWNBU but to be honest I'd just let it go. It sounds like she was pissed off you asked for the money when she's paying for your DCs to go to the party. So she made out that she was expecting payment for one of their meals miraculously cancelling out her debt to you. I'd just let it go given that there's such a small amount of money involved.

SoleSource Thu 20-Jun-13 16:50:04

All seems a bit.petty

HeySoulSister Thu 20-Jun-13 16:51:27

petty and childish

Pancakeflipper Thu 20-Jun-13 16:52:41

I think you should all take a nice big step away from other.

MrsPennyapple Thu 20-Jun-13 16:53:11

If someone was taking my child or children bowling I would assume there would be something to pay, so would have asked how much.

But as a pp said, if she owes someone else, why are you even involved?

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 16:54:30

It was something dh got her through his work colleague, that she specifically asked dh to get, hence dh was the go between.

Dh asked me to ask for the money as he rarely see's her, but knowing he would today asked me to ask.

EarlyInTheMorning Thu 20-Jun-13 16:55:53

1. Why on earth did you ask her for your friend's money back? What's it got to do with you?

2. Why did you assume that your youngest DS was invited to the party? What did the invitation say exactly?

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 16:57:32

Very petty indeed.

Tbh this was a birthday invitation, she invited 8 older ones and 3 younger ones, none of them were asked to pay, she's hasn't asked for payment for my older child, just my youngest.

The one that she has a massive problem with, hence me ending the friendship.

Struggling to work out who the grown ups are in this.... yaBOTHbu.

Struggling to work out who the grown ups are in this.... yaBOTHbu.

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 17:00:43

She specifically invited ds2, invitation wrote in both children's name and I have text messages confirming this, she also had two lanes one for the older children and one for the youngest children.

She had paid the bowling for him, as apparently he was invited to that, but not the meal. But she booked a seat for him, as well as the other young children.

Geordieminx Thu 20-Jun-13 17:02:20

Was in Sharon?

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 17:02:30

I can assure you I'm very much a responsible adult.

I would have paid, paying would not have been a issue,
Dh was their.
She hasn't asked anyone else for payment, just me for my youngest son, a week on.

Floggingmolly Thu 20-Jun-13 17:09:01

How much did the meal cost? If she named your younger child on the invitation she should not be charging for the meal... hmm
You'll know to refuse any further invitations!

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 17:18:05

She said 7.99 for the meal, meal, dessert, drink.

So - the amount I asked her for, I owed her 3.99. Which I happily paid for.

Payment was never a issue.

I ended the friendship due to her feelings of disregard and hatred of ds.

Tbh here too, you don't pay for a party invitation, if dc go without us, we always give them money, however a few have been massively offended when we/other have done this.

If I've asked for a child to attend my child's birthday celebration, it wouldn't even occur to me to charge the parents, it's my invitation.

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 17:20:11

She hasn't asked for payment for ds1, only ds2.

The other younger children who attended, meals were paid for by her.

NotSoNervous Thu 20-Jun-13 17:21:04

If she doesn't owe you the money then why on earth are you getting involved? To me that's asking for trouble but I don't think you should have paid for the bowling thing either

Floggingmolly Thu 20-Jun-13 17:22:21

Of course she shouldn't have charged, she's being a total cow.
No loss at all.

Dackyduddles Thu 20-Jun-13 17:22:50

Are you both under 25.......?

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 17:29:36

Not so nervous, I've already explained it.

Basically I brought something from a work colleague of dh, she liked it and asked if she could get one.

I asked dh, dh got it and a week later dh was still waiting for the money, Dh knew he was collecting ds2 today and he asked me to mention it, so she could give him the money when he sees her.

Apparently this is me being childish, for asking her to pay dh the she owes his work colleague who had been asking for the money.

It genuinely wasn't, I asked as dh never sees her.

Even freinds who were at the party are now texting me saying she's kicking off, at me asking for the money owed, and now they don't know whether to pay her for the party invitation.

AlistairSim Thu 20-Jun-13 17:34:45

She sounds like a right old pain in the arse.

Don't get drawn into it.

Altinkum Thu 20-Jun-13 17:35:51

My part in this is a simple, X, dh is collecting ds today, would you be able to give him the money for X

That's it, she send me the message saying I was being childish and in that case she wants the money for ds2 meal.

I phoned dh, and dh gave her the money we now owed her.

So that was our exchange.

I was asking if I was being UR to not have known I should have paid for his meal.

She is happy paying ds1&2 bowling.

Happy at paying ds1 meal but not happy at paying for ds2 meal.

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