To have politely informed this woman that I will not pay to attend her wedding

(203 Posts)
AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:14:18

Received an invitation to a former colleagues wedding about 8 months ago (wedding im november this year) and was a bit shocked that they had listed out the menu inside with the price (£35 per head) underneath. Accepted the invitation thinking they were just being showy bastards and bragging about how expensive the food will be, DH thought the same, however this woman was once a good friend of mine so we accepted. I was a bit hmm about the mark Jacobs perfume on the gift list as well.

I have just received a message on Facebook as follows:

Twatwoman: hi Amadeus, sorry to bother you so soon after the birth of your new baby but was just wondering if you could possibly transfer the £70 for yours and H's meal at the wedding to me soon, the caterers are getting on our backs! Account details: XXXXXXX

Me: hi twatwoman, me and ds are fine thanks for asking, I'm a bit confused, are we paying for our own meals at our wedding?

Twatwoman: haha yes, it's a bit modern isn't it, but I suppose it's only the same as going to a restaurant but with all your friends

Me: hmmm I'm not sure it is the same really, I mean at least when I go to a restaurant I don't have to make an 80 mile round trip, sit through hours of watching you pose like a duck beside a tree, listen to your drip of a husband moan about how wonderful you are and I get to select my own food. I think me and DH will have to decline on this occasion. All the best.

She has not responded.

Aibu?

TheRealFellatio Tue 18-Jun-13 19:19:38

I hope you didn't write that, but I must say I totally agree with you. If you can't afford a fancy wedding don't bloody have one. Simple.

howdoIdealwiththisone Tue 18-Jun-13 19:20:20

This surely isn't real. We all like to think these things but surely nobody actually says them.

If you did you sound like a nasty person.

AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:20:22

I really should have cottoned on when I got the invitation, I just thought "does anybody seriously ask guests to pay for their own meal at a big fancy wedding?"

Ahem, this sounds like poppycock to me

StuffezLaYoni Tue 18-Jun-13 19:20:54

I really hope you didn't write that!

usualsuspect Tue 18-Jun-13 19:21:28

I would imagine you will get a 'fuck you' email back.

AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:21:40

So consensus is that I am bloody rude blush I blame the post pregnancy hormones

Dackyduddles Tue 18-Jun-13 19:21:58

Jeez, could you not just have said you were busy? I get you thought it odd/modern but she invited you to her wedding.... I think "no" could have been said a lot nicer tbh.

Turniptwirl Tue 18-Jun-13 19:22:19

Depends... If the couple are not well off but have a big family/social circle and would otherwise struggle to attend then asking guests to pay for their own meals is a way of saving money. But I think they should have confirmed that this was ok when you rspved, and told you how to pay.

Judging from your email you're probably uninvited now anyway!

Dackyduddles Tue 18-Jun-13 19:22:33

No you can't blame post preg hormones. I am too but think that's way ott!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Tue 18-Jun-13 19:22:55

You actually wrote that back or you wish you did?

screen shot of the fb convo or it didn't happen grin

LeoTheLateBloomer Tue 18-Jun-13 19:23:18

Tbh I'm more appalled at your behaviour than hers. And I think hers was pretty awful. Also particularly slow not to have realised the implication from the outset.

Dackyduddles Tue 18-Jun-13 19:23:38

What makes you think it's a fancy wedding? Lost me again sorry OP

Coconutty Tue 18-Jun-13 19:23:49

You sound surprised that calling her soon to be DH a drip is rude?

Concreteblonde Tue 18-Jun-13 19:23:53

'snort'

sue52 Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:11

As if the round trip, hotel bill, petrol and present aren't enough; there are now people who ask you to pay for the food of their choice in the venue of their choosing. Too modern for my taste.

AmadeusRocks Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:14

She's fucking minted, her father is paying for the wedding as well, which is why I've reacted like this seeing as some of my friends actually cannot afford to get married

bigkidsdidit Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:23

If this is true, how coul you have possibly not thought tht was incredibly rude confused

You could have just said no, you no, without insulting her.

heidihole Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:25

you never said that did you? hopes you did just cos I love a car crash moment

YouTheCat Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:26

I think it's fair enough. If you can't afford a big wedding you shouldn't have one. Expecting all your guests to fork our £35 a head for food is ridiculous.

BasilBabyEater Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:48

I don't believe a word of this but it's jolly good fun. grin

bigkidsdidit Tue 18-Jun-13 19:24:54

You know

Fuzzysnout Tue 18-Jun-13 19:25:29

Do let us know her reply OP.

howdoIdealwiththisone Tue 18-Jun-13 19:26:08

You don't have to be rude if someone is rude to you you know. And anyway she wasn't rude in her conversation with you. Grabby maybe, presumptuous maybe but not rude. You were downright horrible and there was no need for it.

If you did send that reply, which I doubt, calling her husband and drip is personal and nasty.

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