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To be sickened by this and to despise 'men' who do this.

(97 Posts)
ClaireBeauchamp Sun 16-Jun-13 21:10:28

http://the-invisible-men.tumblr.com/post/51590932152

Have been reading this website this evening and I am sick to my stomach at this post and countless others like it. The complete disregard of the woman as anything but a receptacle....GOD I AM SO MAD.

How fucking dare they????

I HATE men who use prostitutes. Have a deep loathing and thinly disguised contempt for them. The fact that you can effectively buy a woman to service you for the night (or for the hour more realistically).....

Yeah that's just fucked up to be honest.

YANBU.

There are some messed up guys out there.

RiotsNotDiets Mon 17-Jun-13 20:24:40

all penetrative sex Gertrude? confused

Holly there is a warning on the site before you read anything. And not many women (or no women depending on your views) CHOOSE to be prostituted, haven't you heard of sex trafficking?

Holly129 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:04:16

A warning would have been nice before clicking on that!! Prostitutes choose their line of work, men choose to use that service. Me and you might find it sickening but it's their choice. I am also choosing never to read anything like that again. Cheers!

gertrude4grapes Mon 17-Jun-13 19:05:59

Penetrative sex is rape.

FloraFox Mon 17-Jun-13 18:14:43

Sex without consent is rape. Paying to have sex with someone who is not consenting to the sex is paying to rape someone. This is a typical punter viewpoint that a prostitute cannot be raped because she has been paid. Prostitutes are women who deserve the protection of the law as much as any other but unfortunately are routinely failed by the legal system.

xylem8 Mon 17-Jun-13 08:59:59

Florafox of course it isn't rape. lots of people hate their jobs that doesn't mean they are slaves!
I do think that prostitution should be regulated so that checks can be made that people are not being forced into it against their will, that they are not underage etc

FasterStronger Mon 17-Jun-13 08:44:17

a version of the happy hooker : the beautiful happy hooker who gets paid a fortune to visit posh hotels, wear expensive clothes, have sex with handsome business men who treat them well.

what percentage of women are beautiful enough so rich men with pay thousands for one night?

one in a hundred? one in a thousand?

women used to 'work' outside my house (it was a very trendy up and coming area). I used to stand behind them in shops. you could see arms covered in scars and cigarette burns. skin that was ruined by a life of abuse so it was hard to work about their age to a couple of decades. is she 25 or 45? is another one 40 something or 60 something? women 'working' who had no teeth....

of course the media would rather tell the story of beauty, glamour and money than child abuse then faded youth and self abuse.

Sheshelob Mon 17-Jun-13 08:28:57

Exactly, Faster.

I used to believe in the happy hooker thing, as the image of victimisation of women sat awkwardly with me, as I thought it played into the weak woman image.

But I have learned a lot about this subject over the past 2 years, and now feel very differently. Even if women "choose" to do it, it is often because many feel they might as well be paid to have sex with people they don't want to, rather than people taking it for free. And a staggering number are still children when they first enter into it. And once you are in, it can be very hard to get out, even if you aren't trafficked.

The happy hookers are in the minority, and the media's obsession with it makes it very difficult to have a sensible discussion about sex work in our society. It is as if all the thousands of women who come from backgrounds of abuse, who develop addictions or speak out about the sexual violence they have experienced are ruining it for the happy hookers, who we are told are strong, independent women making their fortunes from male "weakness".

If we continue to peddle the prostitution as liberation myth, especially as the law currently stands, we are fooling ourselves. For the few who may be "empowered" by it, they are a majority for whom it has been damaging and negative. We need to be more alive to their voices. Until we are, we are accepting the fact that there is a section of our society who are disposable.

FasterStronger Mon 17-Jun-13 07:48:03

a friend worked on a street worker project and his charities study showed that most the women they worked with had been in children's homes and groomed into it by 'boyfriends' when they were 12-14 ish.

they used drink and drugs to numb their fucked up lives. they had never known 'normal' and did not know what love was.

the media shows happy hookers but rarely seem to show these lost lives.

FloraFox Mon 17-Jun-13 00:14:38

One thing that comes out clearly from these reports is that not only do they take no steps to ascertain whether a woman is consenting to sex, they whine if the woman gives any indication that she is not happy or if she seems drunk etc but carry on with the sex anyway. That is rape. And those reports on punter net are moderated. Christ only know what the ones that don't make it on are like. They really do expose punters as the vile abusers they are.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 16-Jun-13 23:34:33

there circumstances may be different but the abuse that many women suffer in their work is brushed over. the romantic views like belle de jour make it sound fun and glamours the reality is not that for most and is not as interesting

and really what do you think a woman feels about herself after having sex with maybe 5 men in one day. do you think money really makes her feel ok about it all do you not think it leaves emotional scars, damages herself self esteem

i would like to like in a society where we did not think it was ok to buy people for our own gratification

HabbaDabbaDoo Sun 16-Jun-13 23:17:54

After the above Sunday paper I got talking to a Filipino co worker and she said that the 'decent' girls will go abroad and work as minimum wage cleaners and nannies while some 'lazy' girls (her words) turn to prostitution to make more more money.

Sure newspapers like to print Belle de Jour type stories but the opposing side are just as selective in their argument.

HabbaDabbaDoo Sun 16-Jun-13 23:10:40

Some people steal cars because to them it's more profitable than a legit job. Are these people victims like women who sell their bodies because it's more profitable than working as a waitress for example?

I recall reading a story about an African girl turning to prostitution to keep her family from starving. Aids had killed her dad. Are you seriously comparing victims like that with some woman turning to prostitution for 6 months so that she can get money to start up a hairdressing business back in Latvia?

Portofino Sun 16-Jun-13 23:07:10

How many men come from Eastern Europe to earn a house deposit? A lot. I bet they aren't all getting shagged up the arse in Kings Cross. They will be building, working the fields, doing all the jobs UK people used to do before wages dropped so low no UK person with a brain cell will do and give up their benefits. just think for one little moment about what makes a woman do that.

ghayes Sun 16-Jun-13 23:05:58

Maybe they can earn a lot more money selling themselves then they can doing other work?

I honestly don't think it is possible to stop prostitution. Just minimise the negative effects of it.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 16-Jun-13 23:04:11

what about the stories of the women being abused, beaten up, not getting paid, not being able to save as pimp/agency takes a large amount, money spent on drugs to make the work a little more tolerable

these stories are not so often printed as they do not intest people. we find the belle de jour stories far more exciting it almost seems glamours and a little naughty but that is not the story of most prostitutes

Portofino Sun 16-Jun-13 23:01:39

so it is right that the only way these women can earn money is by selling themselves.? They aren't victims because they chose to do it? How may similar stories do you hear about men?

HabbaDabbaDoo Sun 16-Jun-13 22:54:43

Some time last year I read a Sunday newspaper expose on Eastern European 'escorts' working in London. Some were prostitutes back home but a surprising number were just students and office workers and the like. All were in the UK to work as prostitutes for 6 months (length of their Visa) and then return home and use the money to start a business or as a depiosit on a house or to pay for university or... or ....

They would register with a number of agencies who would advertise the ladies on their websites and in return take on average a £50 per booking. More if it was for a longer booking. Some agencies would supply flats to work out of, usually for an inflated rent.

My point? Not all prostitutes are forced into it. Are there trafficked women forced to work as prostitutes? Of course. Should their pimps and customers be punished? Of course. But if a woman, of her own free will, want to sell her body so that she can get a house deposit then I don't see why other people get to be morally outraged at men who choose to visit these women.

Portofino Sun 16-Jun-13 22:54:31

What would happen if there were NO prostitutes? would a certain proportion of the population self combust?

FreudiansSlipper Sun 16-Jun-13 22:51:55

poor guys i am guessing if they did not have this sex they were addicted to they exploded

conorsrockers Sun 16-Jun-13 22:47:17

That was in reply to Freudian's post smile

conorsrockers Sun 16-Jun-13 22:46:17

pretty much. They'd get them 'addicted' to it and have them pay a higher and higher fee every week to do crazier and crazier stuff. To them it was just a job.

RiotsNotDiets Sun 16-Jun-13 22:43:52

Thanks OldLady

RiotsNotDiets Sun 16-Jun-13 22:42:32

Blergh. What a world eh?

I think it should be illegal, and I agree with whoever said that those who do pay for sex should be put on the sex offenders register.

I think it's vital to teach boys to respect women and not to objectify them, of course this needs to start at home, but nobody is solely influenced by their immediate family and things like page 3, porn and the insidious sexism ingrained in most cultures have to go.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sun 16-Jun-13 22:36:03

Riotsnotdiets: It is legal to pay for sex. It is legal to be paid for sex. It is not legal to solicit in a public place, and it is not legal to profit from the control of prostitutes.

(General UK position)

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