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To think he's got no right to be annoyed about this?(33 Posts)
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
My guess is that he thinks he is better than you at researching gadgets.
My Ex-boyf went really funny with me because I bought a digital camera without
asking him discussing what was best or researching online for the best deal. I still have no idea why - it was a camera for ME (he already had his own) bought with my own money. He was a bit obsessed with getting a good deal though and couldn't comprehend that I could not be arsed to search around for the best price.
I think if it was soemthing joint that you both use and look at everyday (like a pushchair, sofa or TV) then decisions should be made together, but when it's something that belongs to you, bought with your money, it's just controlfreakery to get annoyed.
Actually I'm going to side with DH on this one. If this wasn't an impulse purchase, as your camera broke last week, then what would have been wrong with casually saying to DH 'I'm going to spend some of my money on a new camera'. If he then tried to dissuade you from the one you wanted, then use the 'Its my money & I want this one' line.
I'm not saying you needed to ask his permission, but assuming you live together I cant see why this didn't natuarally come up in conversation at some point. Maybe it's the poor communication that's actually bothering him.
Actually, I think you may be BU a little. From the information you have given, it doesn't seem to me that he is annoyed that you spent that amount of money on yourself, more that a jointly-used item has been replaced without his having had any input at all.
I can see his point - if dh and I had a camera that we both used a lot and then he bought a new one, I might be upset that I hadn't had any involvement in the purchase. (I wouldn't feel like that at all, but I can well imagine that some people would!) It is a little patronising of him to imply that you are incapable of finding a good deal, but maybe that isn't his real beef and he just wanted a say in the new camera.
I know you say you received the camera while you were separated, but I find that statement very UR, actually. Dh and I have a lot of stuff that we have had since before we were together, and that stuff is now 'ours', if it is an item that is jointly used. I think it's a bit, I don't know, odd, that you see the camera as yours, despite the fact that you both use it a lot and you are married.
Also, you do seem a bit aggressive in your posts - lots of talk of telling him to 'STFU' etc, seems a little out of proportion to what has happened.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
would he say the same thing if you bought a new mobile phone or a toaster for the kitchen does he think he should do like my DH and research for
weeks a few days on gadgety things It is a camera not a new car it is your money there is nothing to discuss you bought a new camera I am not sure what he is going on about,
What Londonman said.
Your dh is the maaaan, and as such only he can research technology and make suitable purchases.
As for it being a joint possession, surely items such as mobiles, cameras, ipods tend to remain the property of one of you, unless you had a "let's buy an ipad for Xmas" type convo.
My Dh loves buying techy toys and spends many happy hours researching each purchase. I am not bothered. So I would ask Dh to buy my camera to a certain budget, just because I know he would enjoy it and I don't care.
If he made a comment about anything I had already bought however I would tell him to go sit on a thistle. I am a grown up and am capable of making my own purchases without asking permission.
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