To think he's got no right to be annoyed about this?

(33 Posts)
KansasCityOctopus Sun 16-Jun-13 09:19:58

I came into a bit of money a couple of months ago through my grandmother. Dh has repeatedly said, its my money, i can spend it on what i like. Its still in my account and i haven't put it in the savings.

The camera broke last week, so i have used some of my money to replace it, we use the camera a lot, and i've spent the week researching and looking at reviews, picked the one i wanted, found the best deal and ordered it.

DH told me last night he 'isnt happy' that i didnt discuss it with him first, or at how much it cost (75 quid which was camera, case and sd card plus postage) and that i didnt give him chance to look on ebay for a better deal

hmm wtf?

Since when did 'its your money, spend it on what you want' turn into me needing to discuss buying a camera with him?

The camera that broke wasn't 'ours' it was actually mine, my brother gave it to me when dh and i were temp seperated a few years ago. So i have replaced my property out of my money. I'm not an idiot, i know how to find a good deal.

AIBU to tell him to STFU and that he's no place being annoyed with me, i'm an adult, it was a personal purhase and i dont need his permission.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 16-Jun-13 09:21:06

Have you told him what you have said here? What did he say?

ChaosCatt Sun 16-Jun-13 09:23:39

No YANBU, it was your camera to replace with your money given to you by your grandmother. xxxxx

Iaintdunnuffink Sun 16-Jun-13 09:24:08

Do you think it's because it's a gadget? My husband seems to twitch when I've bought something computer or gadget related, which is funny considering my previous jobs. He then goes checking all the prices and reviews, I call him up on it when it dawns on him I did make a good decision.

YDdraigGoch Sun 16-Jun-13 09:25:48

Well, you were insistent that it is shared money, and IMO, it's only right and proper that partners discuss large purchases before spending.

However, he should trust you to look around for a good deal.

StuffezLaYoni Sun 16-Jun-13 09:25:51

Does he think you just blindly clicked on the first pretty camera you came across, hence the better deal comment? Or do you think he wasn't being sincere when he told you to spend the money how you like?

Where does OP say she was insistent on it being shared money? confused

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sun 16-Jun-13 09:28:59

£75 large purchases? Really?

God knows how 'It's your money' turned into 'Rant rant rant' especially over something so benign and trivial. It's not as though you booked a night out with a bloody escort is it. He's being a twat - tell him so.

Chattymummyhere Sun 16-Jun-13 09:34:56

I don't see his issue its stupid... You have money... You needed a new camera...

Hell I just say I'm ordering a new washer a new tumble dryer and a new sofa... Cost never gets asked I'm trusted to pick a good item at a good price, tbh I never told dh I was ordering a washer and a new dryer it was a given as ours had broken and all much more expensive than £75.

I think he feels left out and is jealous you have this money and he does not

KansasCityOctopus Sun 16-Jun-13 09:42:29

his arguement seems to be that i went bananas at him when he rang the phone/tv/internet provider in a fit of pique over a bill and told them to come and take it out, and that when he bought a PS3 he checked with me first.

1) the phone/tv/internet affects the whole household and its only right that any changes to utilities are discussed by us first.

2)the ps3 was bought with PPI money we got back and i told him at the time he didnt need to ask my permission to buy anything with it as he'd paid the ppi in the first place, and he actually rang me to ask me which out of the two deals he was looking at did i think was the best.

He seems concerned about me 'frittering' my money away, which i appreciate, but buying a camera we're going to use for a few years (hopefully) isnt 'frittering'.

But anyway, i told him to MYOB and that i don't agree with him and left it at that.. he can be annoyed in his own head all he likes, i'm not listening.

babyhmummy01 Sun 16-Jun-13 09:44:48

He is being an idiot frankly. I agree with the gadget post.

I would point out to him what upu have said here and tell him end of discussions tbh

Whatalotofpiffle Sun 16-Jun-13 09:44:52

Oh dear, he is bu, backtracking on what he said

Dackyduddles Sun 16-Jun-13 09:53:28

75? That's not large on a camera. Snakes alive I've seen lenses cost that alone and more! I thought you were buying a big ol Nikon like a paparazzo!

He's not very bright then is all I can surmise....

lookingbusy Sun 16-Jun-13 09:59:44

He's dragging up whatever he can to use as ammunition in an argument.

DH cancelled our cable tv package in an argument with their customer services over a bill. First I knew was when Peppa Pig cut out half way through an episode and DS started crying. I phoned them back and got it put back on immediately and didn't even mention it as I assumed he'd realise he'd been a twat.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sun 16-Jun-13 10:05:28

His 'points' are pathetic and not well thought out. He's grasping at straws, I wonder what his real issue is?

The only 'slight' point he might have had was if you were actually frittering the money away and would be annoyed with yourself if you did. If you were happy to fritter your money away then he still wouldn't have a point.

A grown man who bought a PS3 cannot, in any way, shape or form, call someone on buying a camera!

Buying a camera is definitely not frittering. My only concern would be if you have good a 'good enough' camera for that price. But then my cameras are hidiously expensive.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 16-Jun-13 10:06:47

I would ask whether he was lying when he said it was your money and immply that you would now like to know whether his future utterances can be trusted.

Maybe when he said it was your money to spend on what you like he was secretly hoping some would be coming his way.

pictish Sun 16-Jun-13 10:11:45

He either regards the money as his too, or he generally imagines you to be less capable of making good decisions than him.
Probably a good dose of both.

Tell him to belt up.

fluckered Sun 16-Jun-13 10:20:00

DH? presume you are married then. whatever about the camera (sont think u are b u its only a feckin camera not a ferrari) are you planning on keeping this money yourself? or is it for the family? have you kids? if he came into money would you expect him to keep it for himself?

DH bought a new camera recently, it cost loads.
I said " that's nice, dear " and prayed inwardly he would not insist on describing its inner workings in long and tedious detail. My prayers were not answered.

cees Sun 16-Jun-13 10:27:42

Oh tell him to grow up, YANBU.

ENormaSnob Sun 16-Jun-13 10:47:43

Does he see the camera as a jointly owned item?

dangly131 Sun 16-Jun-13 11:47:34

£75 might be considered a large purchase for some people.

gorionine Sun 16-Jun-13 11:52:12

I would consider £75 as a large purchase on myself but that is irrelevant really; your money is your money and whether you desire to spend £2.50 or £250 is your business IMHO.

KansasCityOctopus Sun 16-Jun-13 12:07:53

Chipping, i picked a Which Best Buy within my budget that has some incredible reviews across the board on all the places that reviewed it, then went hunting for the best deal.

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