to feel angry about my mum's obesity?

(28 Posts)
sandwichyear Sun 16-Jun-13 03:51:21

I know I ABU, but need to be reminded of this and why it's U to feel this way.

My mum weighs around 20 stone, maybe more. She can barely walk half a block, or up one flight of stairs without being totally out of breath. Her knees are in terrible shape, she is in constant pain. Her weight severely impairs her ability to do basic things, and impacts on her relationship with her grandchildren (she can't get on the floor and play with them, carry them upstairs for a nap let alone run around in the park with them or babysit for any length of time whilst they are awake.) She always says she wants to help us with the kids, but realistically can't do anything to help at all- it is painful watching her trying to do basic tasks and when she is here we end up running around after her, fetching and carrying etc.

She has tried lots of diets in the past but gives up really easily and always very half hearted, and full of excuses. I have never ever shown my anger to her and am always fully supportive of every effort to lose weight, and always try to boost her confidence, but I can't help feeling angry that she won't make the effort to do something about this and is losing out on her relationship with us and our kids. I"m also so scared we are going to lose her to this and don't know what to do as we love her very much. Please help me understand why this is so hard for her and give me any advice about how i can help her. (this is definitely to do with overeating- not some other health problem.)

TwasBrillig Sun 16-Jun-13 16:24:51

Agree with pp that its llj linked with (lack of) control in my life, and yes non food related activities would be ace in terms of rebuilding self esteem, having a 'life' etc.

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 16:25:21

MY poor MIl died at 60 she was very over weight and it was complications of her weight that eventually landed her in hspital but as others have said it was not about the food and eating the poor woman had other issues going on and food was her comfort and feeding people was also her comfort, it isn't about diets sometimes sadly yanbu to want your mum healthy and happy

MammaTJ Sun 16-Jun-13 16:35:32

Had to come on here to check this wasn't my DD moaning about me. She doesn't have DC yet though.

I am around your DMs weight but work full time in a physically demanding job, play with my DC and live my life.

I have recently suffered an injury, which is taking me time to get over, mainly because of my weight. I have rejoined Slimming World and have lost 8 1/2 lbs. I actually eat more on SW than I would normally.

Support your DM rather than moaning about how she cannot help you! That may be more effective.

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