Dunno, you decide.

(36 Posts)
nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:00:46

Because i am just too tired to think straight frankly.

Had pnd with my now 10 year old ds. Was awful.
I have a 5 month old who is fab fab fab smile

As is to be expected, i am absolutely shattered as he is ebf and feeds every 2-3 hours day and night typically.

I have a large network of good freinds from work.
Was going to go out for a meal with them tonight but i cancelled as ds cluster feeds all evening and i am crap at expressing, just want a shower, pjs and to go to sleep.

The lady who arranges stuff would not take no for an answer, and has arranged for everyone ( there is 4 of them) to come to mine.
I was just too tired to argue in the end.
They are bringing cake (i am at slimming world and doing really great)
I have cleaned the house today as i always do when i have guests, i am so so tired.

Am i being a miserable old bag, kinda deliberately avoiding social situations as you do with PND or are they being pains insisting on harrassing me?
Dont think that PND is creeping back in as i feel good apart from the exhaustion.

quesadilla Fri 14-Jun-13 16:38:50

x-posted, sorry

quesadilla Fri 14-Jun-13 16:38:21

I think they are well-intentioned but actually a bit U. Its one thing to suggest it if you don't feel like going out but to not take no for an answer is tactless.
If you think it might turn out ok then maybe go along with it for a bit but if the idea is upsetting you tell them politely but firmly that sorry but you're really not up for it and they need to do it elsewhere. If they are real friends they will understand.

FeegleFion Fri 14-Jun-13 14:53:43

Sorry...clumsy bastard here offering input far too late as per

Glad you enjoyed the catch up.

FeegleFion Fri 14-Jun-13 14:51:57

YANBU - I feel the same with my 6 month old.

He's still up a lot through the night.

But, but, but, they're coming because they care. You'll really enjoy the break from the norm and it will do you the world of good.

there you go. smile

glad you went with it.

And now you know you can cope (and that they're reasonable by refreshing themselves and leaving at a reasonable hour), you will be okay doing it again (but not for at least a month)

Sounds like you had a good evening, even though you did feel like a walking zombie. At least they had the grace to leave at a vaguely reasonable time. Most people who've not had a baby (recently) either don't know or have forgotten the crushing exhaustion of months of interrupted nights.

nananaps Fri 14-Jun-13 10:13:10

Well they came, one of them brought along her daughter who i dont even know, they all squeezed into my living room.

The cake was MAGNIFICENT, they made thier own tea smile
I fed and fed and fed ds as is normal in the evenings, crushed into one end of my sofa.

They left at 9.30 (i have been going to bed at 8ish most nights, so was a walking zombie) I cant even recall what the gossip was. They talked about new people at work who i dont know, so i couldnt join in really.

BUT i think "get over yourself" its all fine, i love their company usually and wouldnt want them to stop asking me out so it was worth it to keep that up.

Ashoething Thu 13-Jun-13 20:14:08

God I can never understand parents who wont leave their dcs for a few hours-I cant bloody wait to get away from mine most of the timegrin. YANBU to be tired op.YABU a little to not have bit the bullet and gone out for an hour-time away from being a mum does you the world of good.

RandomMess Thu 13-Jun-13 20:11:53

Hope you're enjoying yourself!!!

Forgetfulmog Thu 13-Jun-13 20:08:35

Btw I would still tell you YANBU if your DS was 9 mo smile

Forgetfulmog Thu 13-Jun-13 20:08:00

Gotta love MN. OP YANBU, but put your OP on again once DS is 9 mo & everyone will be telling you YABU.

Sounds fun.

DeskPlanner Thu 13-Jun-13 19:58:56

Hopefully it will end up being one of those evenings that you dread but then turn out brilliant. Enjoy the cake it won't damage your SW motivation to much. It's really nice, though slightly annoying, that they want to come and see you. I think the longer you leave seeing people the harder it is to regain a good friendship again. Hopefully your having a wonderful evening and probably won't even see this message. grin

MammaTJ Thu 13-Jun-13 19:22:41

TSC not holding back, as usual!! grin

I happen to agree though. Once they arrive (which they will have by now, so why am I bothering?) you will get involved in the gossip and have a good time.

Don't keep turning people down, they will stop asking.

If I was near you, I would make some special syn free meringues and cream with fruit to join you. (you're not in Minehead, are you?)

ShabbyButNotChic Thu 13-Jun-13 18:49:46

On the fence with this one, they may have the best of intentions and think they are being supportive by working round you and baby, keeping you involved etc, but it is a bit cheeky to invite themselves.
I would say go with it, dont run round after them ( the rule in my house is come whenever but bring biscuits and make your own brews) you may enjoy it! But dont be afraid to ask them to leave after a while.

Like others have said, go with it. Do not stress about running around after them - if they're good friends they'll pop into the kitchen and make you a cup of tea rather than you having to do it! Stay in your PJs, be comfy! You'll probably end up having a lovely evening.

I think probably good intentions but extremely cheeky & tactless. Just tell them you'll have to BF at some point, pyjamas are a possibility, & an early end to the evening is likely. If they don't like it, tough. House rules. Hope you have a good evening. I really hope you had a rest before they arrived or are due to arrive.

LulaPalooza Thu 13-Jun-13 17:40:08

YANBU. I don't even have kids and I would be absofuckinglutely furious if a friend invited themselves to mine when I had said I didn't want to go out.

But then I am an introvert

Poledra Thu 13-Jun-13 17:39:36

Unique, I think she's talking about her 10-yo DS, not the baby smile

MiamiMe Thu 13-Jun-13 17:36:06

It sounds like a bit of a PITA now but I'm sure you'll have a good laugh and enjoy yourself. Well that's how I felt when my friends came to mine en masse when DD was just 6 weeks.

I don't see why you can't keep him with you when your friends are there.

The only place i go without DD is WI and dance class. i even took DD with me for the first 6 months (thankfully there was a summer break and after that i felt confident hmm to leave her at home)
the hmm face is because i still don't like to leave her at home in the evenings.

you can have fun with your friends and still have your DS with you.

LeaveIt Thu 13-Jun-13 17:31:00

It will probably turn into a really good evening. Like when you look forward to going somewhere and it turns out crap compared to when you can't be bothered or don't want to go and have a great time. If they're really close friends you could still put on your pjs wink hope the goss is worth it!

RiotsNotDiets Thu 13-Jun-13 17:27:56

I think they're being nice, if a bit clumsy. You'll enjoy yourself once they're there with cake and gossip.

Nobody's coming round to mine with cake and gossip envy

nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:24:46

normally the mention of
1) gossip
2) cake
3) food would have me very excited!

now...grump grump grump sad

nananaps Thu 13-Jun-13 17:22:12

Hehehehe, that made me giggle Thesecondcoming so true.

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