Slightly flippant title, I probably won't (mainly cos I don't know the medical shorthand for a testosterone test). But I am so frustrated!
DH has always had a lower libido than me, but for the last 2 years or so it's got worse. If I didn't initiate we might never have sex. As it is, I can persuade him maybe every one or two weeks. He seems to enjoy it when we do have sex, and doesn't have any erection problems. He never talks about sex unless I practically hold him hostage and force him to and it's obvious it makes him very uncomfortable - he's pretty repressed when not actively having sex. I have tried talking, and bought a Tracy Cox book which had some good advice in it, but he won't read it. He always promises things will change, that we'll do it 'soon', that it's just that he's tired/too fat/got indigestion/got to get up early/feels sick. He did once tell me that I should just accept that he just wants to do it less often than me and I need to get used to it. Which I did do to an extent, but it really makes me feel crap when he turns me down and doesn't initiate anything. He is lovely and affectionate in every other way possible. We have teenage DCs who are always around etc but there are always opportunities to go to bed when he's not tired and they're not around but he just won't most of the time, he says 'later' and then when later comes another excuse has come up, usually being too tired. He definitely does not use porn and is not having an affair.
I read about the effects of low testosterone on a man's libido over a year ago and pleaded with him to go to the doctor to ask for a test. He refused, and said that it was just because he was overweight and he would soon go on a diet and everything would be better. Well, he has now lost two stone but nothing has changed, in fact it seems a bit worse. He is always tired and falling asleep too - and he works much shorter hours than he used to.
A few months ago he was at the dr for a separate issue and I begged him to ask for a testosterone check and mention his libido. He came back and said he hadn't asked because there was a trainee with the doctor. I was so cross. 
Yesterday he went to the dr with something else and again, I insisted that he mention his tiredness and low libido and request a testosterone test. I was so pleased when he came back with a blood test request form! But then he said that when he asked for the test, the dr had said 'we don't usually do that' and had told him he needed testing for thyroid problems etc first. I looked at the request form and there is nothing about bastard testosterone on it. He's being tested for thyroid levels, TATT (which I googled and stands for 'tired all the time') and his cholesterol, along with a full blood count.
I am fuming and so frustrated with his doctor. It took a lot for my DH to bring up the issue and I feel he's been fobbed off. Would it hurt for him to just be given the bloody test when he's having a blood test anyway?
On top of which I've read a problem in You magazine today where a lady bemoans her partner's low libido, and guess what, the reply advises he asks his doctor for a testosterone test. AAARGH!
AIBU?
To alter DH's blood test request form so he gets a sodding testosterone check
WittyMonica · 13/06/2013 16:59
YABU - i really woudlnt get your medical information from "you" magazine (isn't that the magazine that comes with the daily mail? 
). If your DH has thyroid problems that in itself would lower his labido. If you want a testosterone test, go private.
Thyroid is probably far more likely than testosterone deficiency so it makes sense to rule out the more common problems first. It also sounds as though there may be a psychological side to this too in as much as he is capable of sex and enjoys it but thinks of reasons why not to (I wonder if he feels under pressure? 
)
The GP has the advantage of years of medical training rather than just reading magazines
Lol. I take all your comments on board. I've thought the same about if our genders were reversed Umicar, and you're right, if I was a man acting the way I do I would be flamed here! I have been known to sulk, guilt trip him and remind him of how long it's been since we last had sex. I know this is wrong, and I try not to do it. But when I totally backed off and stopped initiating for a time nothing changed anyway. I do sound intense, I am, but I'm not really that way with DH. That's probably why I sound so intense here, because it's bottled up inside me a lot.
He's lost weight because he's been on a diet, and I am not worried about his heath otherwise. I'm pretty sure he's not depressed, although he is under a bit of stress because he's the only one who can drive and he's always giving the kids lifts, picking up shopping etc. I am moderately disabled with MS but he assures me this isn't why he doesn't want to do it, but I suppose a combination of these things could make him not feel like having sex.
But at the same time I think, I'm the one who's ill and I want to have sex much more than him and don't keep falling asleep on the sofa, and this makes me cross again. Lol I realise I sound like a furious nympho. But it's like the roles are reversed and I am the one with the male libido and attitude and he is the sensitive woman who is affected by outside influences, whether we've rowed etc, while I can treat sex separately IYSWIM.
I hate the thought that one day I may be too disabled to have sex anymore, or he will be older and have erectile dysfunction, and we've wasted all the best years of our sex life. 
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