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To tell my "friend" to piss off

(201 Posts)
HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform Thu 13-Jun-13 13:43:26

I lost a fair bit of weight a few years ago (40lbs) and I have a friend, who I met as I was losing the weight, who seemingly has to remind me of how big I was (size 16), particularly that I was big on my wedding day. I don't understand why she has to bring it up all the time, particularly when she is substantially bigger than I am yet I wouldn't dream of calling her fat. Her most recent comment, looking at a picture of said wedding day, was that my tummy stuck out far farther than my boobs (it didn't). I just don't understand it.

She also criticises my grammar, which I think is normally quite good, today accusing me of corporate speak. Who fucking cares if I said something she deems "corporate" (evidently me).

WIBU to tell her to fuck off? She's not being particularly kind, which makes me feel shit, and she is currently staying with me (rent free) at weekends so she can keep her job in our city having moved hundreds of miles away to save money.

bettycocker Thu 13-Jun-13 13:45:39

She sounds pretty unpleasant. I would only say things like that to someone if I really wanted to piss them off. Fuck off might be a bit harsh, but you could tell her that you're no longer able to accomodate her. YANBU btw. It sounds as though you don't like her.

Arabesque Thu 13-Jun-13 13:45:49

It sounds as if she's a bit jealous. YANBU.

YANBU to tell her to fuck of. She's clearly jealous, and not happy about her own weight. She's trying to bring you down. Kick her out. She's doesn't deserve your friendship.

FannyFifer Thu 13-Jun-13 13:48:00

Think it calls for the Mumsnet stock phrase of "do you mean to sound so rude"?

Please tell her to piss off. She sounds spiteful

tripecity Thu 13-Jun-13 13:48:37

I would tell her to shit off. How rude! Shes just jealous

HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform Thu 13-Jun-13 13:48:57

I don't like her right now, betty though we usually get along quite well. I'm smarting a lot over the fat comments and the picking on my grammar today tipped me over the edge.

I just feel a bit used - both for the accommodation and as a target to pick on to boost herself a bit. Probably being over sensitive but it has made me feel shit today.

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 13-Jun-13 13:49:12

Sounds like she's projecting her own insecurities onto you. Why be friends with someone who treats you like shut and takes advantage of you though? Dump her.

cuteboots Thu 13-Jun-13 13:49:39

life is fat too short to put up with people like this. Only mix with people who make you feel good about yourself. I agree with Arabesque as she does sound very jealous...

TobyLerone Thu 13-Jun-13 13:49:50

She sounds horrible. YANBU.

Definitely tell her to fuck off. If I were living with someone rent-free every weekend I would be on my absolute best behaviour, bringing them a bottle of wine/bunch of flowers etc and helping out where possible, not insulting them!

defineme Thu 13-Jun-13 13:52:33

I think she needs to leave your house.

Have a chat first if you want to do the honourable thing, but she's not being kind or polite and so isn't a friend.

rockybalboa Thu 13-Jun-13 13:53:36

Absolutely tell her to fuck off. For starters tell her that unfortunately you can no longer accommodate her at weekends and she'll have to make other arrangements. I wouldn't pick her up on the generally rudeness until after she's gone but YANBU at all to say something afetrwards. What a bitch.

Scruffey Thu 13-Jun-13 13:55:18

Chuck her out, she sounds nasty!

squeakytoy Thu 13-Jun-13 13:55:29

what is the corporate speak for "fuck off"? grin

just give her that..

MamaChubbyLegs Thu 13-Jun-13 13:55:50

She sounds like she's taking you for granted. Say something to her! It might make things uncomfortable and kick her into looking for a hotel for the weekend or it might make her rethink how she treats you. Perhaps she doesn't realise that what she says hurts you. She won't unless you say something.

If she's a good friend, she'll apologise. If she doesn't apologise, ywnbu to give her a list of local b'n'bs and tell her to piss off get on her way wink

Solo Thu 13-Jun-13 13:56:18

My two best friends at school were always bigger than me (by a long way). We are still friends and the same (weight) still applies, but I wouldn't dream of being offensive to them about it and never have!
I'd be packing your 'friends' belongings and de friending her from my life!

Mollydoggerson Thu 13-Jun-13 13:56:56

She sounds very insecure.

First and foremost you have to look out for yourself, so I think it is fair for you to say that you'ld like to get your house back to yourself and could she start looking for weekend accommodation elsewhere.

If you don't want that confrontation then tell her your cousins/friends/colleagues will need accommodation in two weeks time so she wont be able to kip at yours from July on.

Fenton Thu 13-Jun-13 13:57:01

You need to get yourself a (fictitious) lodger because you could do with the money. This serves two purposes, gets her out of your house and lets her know what a sponger she has been.

As for the rest of it, - yes, jealousy I think, so don't give it headroom, or her houseroom.

She's jealous of your weight loss and probably jealous of you overall.

Give her a week's notice and tell her to find alternative accommodation, she doesn't deserve your friendship.

Pancakeflipper Thu 13-Jun-13 13:58:02

She is jealous and it makes her feel better to drag you down . Either tell her straight or have a ready witty quip or defriend.

ChuffMuffin Thu 13-Jun-13 14:00:51

What the fuck does she want you to do about your past weight, build a time machine? hmm. Definitely agree she is jealous. And she stays with you at the weekends for free? Talk about biting the hand that feeds you, what the hell is wrong with her?

BrianTheMole Thu 13-Jun-13 14:01:44

She's trying to blow your candle out to make her own burn brighter. She's jealous. And insecure. Ask her straight why she's doing it.

KeatsiePie Thu 13-Jun-13 14:02:12

Probably being over sensitive

You are NOT. It is completely insanely mean to tell a friend, unsolicited, for no reason, that she looked fat on her wedding day. What the fuck?! She sounds awful. Get her out.

Tell her that firmwide housewide personnel evaluations indicate that her performance has shown a poor ROI, which has led to a reorganization of your hospitality department and now most unfortunately she has been made redundant. Give her five minutes to pack up her things and escort her to the door.

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