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Would you judge a family with very little furntiure/belongings ?

(309 Posts)
allinsunshine Tue 11-Jun-13 11:55:33

Dh and I are in the middle of a 5 year plan to get ahead financially/career wise.

Part of this plan means we are living temporarily for around a year at a time in different locations. We hope to be in our forever home by 2016 smile

We have chosen to live very lightly and simply during this time and not collect many belongings/furniture along the way.

At present we are living in a flat which has plenty of built in shelving/cupboards.

All we have as far as furniture is 2 chairs, one desk, one large bean bag, a toddler chair and table, a toddler flip out sofa, highchair, mattresses for ds (2yr) and ourselves and a tv stand with tv.

We dont mind as even though we could get furniture cheaply (through freecycle etc) we know it would be a chore to get rid of again when we move.

I have got to know a few mothers and their children and have been to a few playdates at their very nice houses/flats of varying sizes/budgets but all nicely furnished and decorated.

Compared to their homes ours is very bare and modest. I would like to reciprocate the invitations but I would worry they would judge us about it.

We are both in our 30s so not in the student lifestyle category either.

So would you judge us if you came for a visit?

Also do you have an interesting way I could explain away/embellish our lifestyle choice without going into the details of our 5 year plan which would be very dull indeed.

peteypiranha Sun 16-Jun-13 11:27:58

When we were in a flat together meant literally together. We did practically everything together as you havr no space to move to other rooms so we would be playing or doing thing with the children constantly as had no choice in the matter and we had no table. We have a table now but we are not anywhere near as together and doing stuff all the time as we were then as we have more space.

peteypiranha Sun 16-Jun-13 11:32:46

Also hiding in the kitchen isnt being together. Im talking about being stuck in a place were there is nowhere to hide at all which is most small flats.

Oldraver Sun 16-Jun-13 11:39:51

I would be a bit surprised to see people living like this but their choice. I dont live in a modern way (being on a FB buy and sell page you get to see lots of interiors) and my house hasn't been updated or decorated for years so I am aware people may go hmm at my house.. a friend has already said she thought we were 'poor' as we dont have wallpaper grin. It sounds like you are living studenty.

Mattresses on the floor I wouldn't like for myself though appreciate some posters have said it works for them

I am also intrigued about a plan....five years of austerity living with just a few basic sticks of furniture, how does that equal 'forever' home beutifully furnished. I think you need to share your secret OP so us lesser mortals doing the mortgage slog can be enlightened

TheYamiOfYawn Sun 16-Jun-13 13:03:43

peteypirhana, the OP isn't living in a single room. There is at least one bedroom and no indication that she is cooking in the living area. If she did only have a single room, it would probably look quite full with the furniture she already has.

peteypiranha Sun 16-Jun-13 13:11:32

We werent living in a single room but whatever way you look at it most flats are very small wity no space to escape from each other for your average family.

KeatsiePie Sun 16-Jun-13 14:12:21

The OP could get on Freecycle or craigslist, get a couch, rent a truck, move it, and steam-clean it. But she doesn't want to. The only reason she posted was to see whether people would look down on her for having chosen not to spend her time or money that way.

And, well, no one should. It's incredibly rude to look down on or judge someone unkindly b/c when you arrive at her house you find that her home's style is in some not up to your standards.

Basically, you would be judging that person for having priorities that are different from yours. But your priorities are not the gold standard -- they are only YOUR standard.

E.g., I used to bake my own bread. I also used to make my own laundry detergent. Now I don't, b/c my priorities have changed. It was fine for me to make bread and soap, and it's fine for me to buy bread and soap. You could judge me harshly for making my own laundry soap (e.g., "I can't believe she does that, what a waste of time, that's so weird, is she a hippie or something") and you could judge me harshly for NOT baking bread ("I can't believe she buys sandwich bread, that's so lazy, I mean how hard is it to throw some yeast and flour in a bowl, and the store bread has all those additives, does she not care about her family's health"). In either case, the harsh words are not being spoken b/c I'm doing something wrong -- they're being spoken b/c I'm prioritizing something that you don't see as a priority.

So to say "How hard is it to get a couch" or whatever -- it's probably not that hard. But that is not the point. The OP has chosen different priorities, and wants to know whether people would be likely to look down on her for it. I'm really surprised that so many people said yes.

mathanxiety Sun 16-Jun-13 16:47:53

I lived in a flat with three small children and exH until we moved into a small house and then had two more small children (plus exH plus a cat we picked up along the way). Now I am back in a flat with four much bigger children in summer and at Christmas, three the rest of the time. We eat together around a table and sit on the couch together and when we have people over or when the DCs have friends the table and couch get a run for their money. The table is bang in the middle of the way in the kitchen and folds down when not in use. If it didn't fold I wouldn't be able to open my dishwasher. I really value it, and the couch too.

OhDearNigel Sun 16-Jun-13 22:25:23

No, as the owner of a tiny house overflowing with belongings i would be so jealous that i would hate you !

OhDearNigel Sun 16-Jun-13 22:28:20

And if you need a "manifesto" to explain your reaons look no further. simple living movement

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