to think that I/we are being pushed out?

(383 Posts)
HarrySnotter Mon 10-Jun-13 17:35:15

Sounds very childish I know but I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive.

I have a group of friends who I see regularly and sometimes our partners also get together. Sometimes we go out as couples too. Another woman who I have known for a while but had a different friendship group had a falling out with her friends at the start of the year so we started inviting her and her husband out with us, I have always got on really well with her. Recently they (the woman in particular) seem to have really taken to a particular couple in the group (my close friend) and ask them out a lot - I have absolutely NO problem with this, they can go out with whomever they want obviously, but it seems to be a little secretive on her part, though my other friend tells me. I found out at the weekend that this couple are hosting a drinks party on Friday night and have invited other members of our friendship group apart from us. I feel stupidly hurt by this and although I will off course not say anything, as its entirely up to them who they invite to their house, I feel like we're being pushed put. I probably sound jealous and childish so accept im probably being ridiculous! Am I being oversentitive?

LucieLucie Sun 23-Jun-13 15:05:47

Only read first half of the thread but my blood is boiling so have to write! Bloody woman is being a total cow and is actively seeking to exclude you from your friends without a doubt!

But I get so angry because the only way to stop people like this in their tracks is for YOUR FRIENDS to stick up for you and tell her, sorry if op is not envited then we won't go as its not nice to leave her out!!!!! END OF!! Why are they allowing this to happen? Grrrr bloody women angry

TheHuffAndPuffALot Thu 04-Jul-13 12:35:34

Bumping. What's the latest from Wendy, OP?

BearWithBearWith Thu 04-Jul-13 15:17:24

WOW I've just read this thread for the first time, thank you for bumping TheHuff.

I've been a victim to a Wendy which sadly lost me a few (apparently not so good) friends. I wish I had the wisdom of Mumsnet around at the time because even to this day I acutely feel the hurt, rejection, and, unfairness of it. I too felt like a bad person for being 'jealous' when it was nothing of the sort. I just had this Wendy pegged but no one around me did (or didn't care enough).

I'm very sorry you went through this Harry and I would be interested to hear how your friends have handled Wendy. Sounds like you have one ace friend there anyway.

Take care Harry - I really hope all has gone well. I admire the way you have handled it. And I'm grateful to all the posters with their fab advice on what is a very difficult situation. Thank you.

HarrySnotter Sun 07-Jul-13 09:52:51

I don't know if anyone remembers this but I thought I'd update developments! There have been lots of things going on over the last few weeks and interestingly, my Wendy seems to have shot herself in the foot slightly.

I've been very quiet about the whole thing, I decided that the best thing was not to react until I had really had a think about what was happening and what to do about it. I had my little do with new friend invited , who is absolutely lovely and I'm delighted that she's living round the corner now.

After the party I just decided to take a bit of a step back and watch what was going on and it seems it was the right thing to do. So far over the last 2 weeks, 3 of my friends have made little comments about Wendy being 'overbearing' and 'smothering' in her desperate attempts to be the centre of just about everything. She expects to be invited to every single little thing, even a spur of the moment coffee etc. Another friend mentioned she wasn't sure but thought she may be being manipulated. Through all this I have said very little as I want people to make up their own minds about her. So, I'm feeling positive about the whole thing, it seems if you give someone enough rope etc etc.

TheHuffAndPuffALot Sun 07-Jul-13 12:02:27

Oh thanks for the update Harry, I'd been thinking of you and your horrid situation since I first read the thread.

It looks like your friends can see through her too then? That's a relief.

Fingers crossed she'll get bored with not being the centre of attention soon enough, and leave you all in peace.

Hullygully Wed 10-Jul-13 10:40:44

hurrah for harry!

themaltesecat Wed 10-Jul-13 13:40:15

Well done, OP!

I truly never knew such weirdos existed. It makes for chilling reading.

daisychain01 Wed 10-Jul-13 14:07:33

You handled it very diplomatically, Harry, really impressive. You kept your cool didnt over react or try to be negative to your existing friends about 'Wendy' and now you know who your true friends are and made a new friend as well. A great outcome, glad you feel better about things. Its the sort of thing that really hurts me because you try to be open, honest don't you, include people and no fixed agenda with people, but once in a while someone puts the spanner in the works.

But things always find their own level in the end!

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