To think getting pregnant "accidentally" is not ok

(156 Posts)
Buddhagirl Fri 07-Jun-13 23:02:14

Conversion with a gf yesterday along the lines of:

Me: i really want to start ttc I wish dh would agree to start sooner
Her: just come off contraception and don't tell him, you will both love the baby and make it work
Me: isn't that unfair and a bit immoral?
Her: loads of people do it, what's the worst that could happen?

I do wonder how many "accidents" are really accidents. I can see how women would want to do this and I'm sure most do cope and it's ok, but surely it's really unfair?

ShadowStorm Thu 13-Jun-13 23:07:38

For a couple in a LTR it should be easy for the man to keep track of whether his DW/DP is actually taking the pill or not. If there's room for doubt he can use a condom.

Unless the man is insisting on watching his DW/DP take her daily pill, how can he easily keep track of this? Checking the pill packet doesn't prove anything, because a DW/DP intent on tricking her partner into pregnancy could easily throw the pill away if she wasn't being watched.

And I don't think it's normal behaviour for a man to insist on this level of surveillance. I think it's a lot more normal in a long term relationship for partners to be truthful about contraception, and to be able to trust each other to be truthful about contraception use.

Yonirubbishnamesleft Thu 13-Jun-13 23:19:15

I haven't read the entire thread, sorry. I just though I'd give the view from the other side.

I couldn't have the pill for a while due to complications with food poisoning and problems with keeping things down for months.

Anyway, we relied on just condoms for four months, and then got pregnant which I'd been paranoid about. Looking back...stupid.

Eventually it came out that it was deliberate. He was jealous because I earned more.

A relationship cannot survive that.

TheDoctrineOfAllan Thu 13-Jun-13 23:42:22

Oh yoni :-(

LittlePeaPod Fri 14-Jun-13 06:18:45

Yoni I am so sorry... It's awful and you are right a relationship can not survive that kind of betrayal. It's doesn't matter if its a man or woman, its just so wrong.

TVTonight Fri 14-Jun-13 09:21:56

yoni that's awful - a really dreadful assault.

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen Fri 14-Jun-13 10:30:29

Getting pregnant on purpose/getting someone pregnant on purpose without their consent?

Not okay.

People who believe daddies then have the right to fuck off because well, they changed their mind and why should they have to pay? hmm

Just wow. I can't believe women actually think men shouldn't support their own child regardless of the circumstances. The child is a human being, not a tool to punish a mother/father.

IMO, anyone who thinks this way about fathers and their apparent right to lack of responsibilities is misogynist. And a twat.

Even if a man chooses not to have a relationship with his child, he has responsibility no matter how you twist it and should be at the least finacially supporting said child.

Oh and just to stress: Getting pregnant 'accidentally on purpose' is abhorrent. Doesn't absolve men of the fact fifty percent of that child is theirs.

The posts on here about punishing mothers/why should he pay? Etc etc make me feel like I've gone back in time.

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