I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for 3 years and lived together for 2 years. I love him so much and am very very happy with him.
He has been clear from the start that he is not interested in marriage. I do want to get married but it's not the be all and end all to me; also, at the time I was 19 and far too young to care about that. I also had in the back of my mind hoped he might change his mind.
However we had never really spoke that much about children. It all came out last night that he doesn't want children. I come from a very close family, love babies and children and have always wanted to one day have kids. This is not negotiable for me and I will never change my mind.
My boyfriend is only 26, has never had anything much to do with children and does not know any children (no friends' babies, no nieces, no nephews). Is it reasonable to expect that when he gets older he may change his mind?
Obviously at some point I would have to draw the line but I think it would be ridiculous to split up with him over something like this when I'm only 22, not 37 or something. I also really don't want to split up from him - we really love each other. It's also not as easy as just splitting up from him - my whole life is built around our relationship and it would mean I'd have to leave my job, move out of the city and back with my parents, etc.
My boyfriend said that right now he doesn't see himself ever wanting to have children, but in five years there could be a chance he'd feel differently, etc. however, I did have to drag that out of him and he was very careful to make clear that there were no promises he'd ever change his mind.
I don't want kids NOW and even if he agreed with me on everything would wait at least 5 years, would happily wait 10 years if I knew it would definitely happen. He is fully aware of this.
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Men changing mind about having kids?
98 replies
Orangelime79 · 30/05/2013 12:45
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