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To think pretty people are automatically treated better regardless of personality?

(67 Posts)
Sparklypinknails Sun 26-May-13 21:50:25

Mulling this over and I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable to think this? Im thinking in particular of pretty people who are nasty a lot of the time yet still seem to be popular and well liked whereas an ugly a less attractive person would not be forgiven for being nasty so easily or quickly and would not be as popular as a result.

Xmasbaby11 Sun 26-May-13 23:17:58

YANBU! Harsh but true. We've all seen it happen.

Aitchy Sun 26-May-13 23:20:30

And actually reflecting on it all it was the case with a girl at school too. Very pretty but also very bitchy too. Everyone ran around after her and was clamouring to be her friend whilst she smirked and played people off against each other and used people to suit her own agenda.

Again, I cottoned on to what she was like so managed to give her quite a wide berth throughout school.

BOF Sun 26-May-13 23:28:26

Aitch, is that you?

thebody Sun 26-May-13 23:30:01

Wow, we must live in a strange place then.

My girls are now (and my boys were at )one of the largest comps in the midlands. The other comp is at the end of the town so all the kids know each other.

That's 1000 at one school and 950 at the other.

The popular boys and girls are the witty, funny or simply just nice kids.

A very pretty girl but an absolute nasty price of work was pelted with an egg as she paraded herself to the prom, an equality good looking boy/ nasty racist bulky was ostracised by all.

It wasn't the case in my day it was as the op says but this generation is,in my opinion, more mature.

noxius Sun 26-May-13 23:44:00

" have a friend who is 6 foot of slim, blonde beauty. She came to my hen night and in her cups sadly told me she never gets asked out with women. She was bullied at school and has no female friends apart from me and my friend. She still gets anxious when she sees her bullies now."

I agree with this, MrsTerryP. I was considered beautiful in my younger days, nowadays just pretty <cringe as types> But I was often left out of gatherings because so-and-so's boyfriend/husband might fancy me, it was very hurtful at the time.

noxius Sun 26-May-13 23:45:14

I'm considered 'safer' now because I have a husband and children confused

squoosh Sun 26-May-13 23:54:29

Of course YANBU.

I thought this was widely accepted. We're programmed to respond more favourably to beauty, whether we want to admit it or not is a different matter.

thebody Sun 26-May-13 23:56:55

I don't know who you guys mix with. Seriously.

Sounds so childish to be honest. 'Oh people don't like me because I am a threat as so pretty'!!!

Maybe that's why? It's not your face its your self obsession.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 27-May-13 00:05:10

Seriously stunning people no matter how lovely they are and in my experience they do tend to be lovely and rarely have any idea of just how stunning they are get treated like shit.

The most stunning woman I have ever met also one of the kindest for many many reasons has been subject to some of the worst treatment in many environments work social you name it,people react very badly to her based on appearance.

But fairly pretty but in that contrived and I think I'm something special way then yes I agree,I think its because they are not pretty enough to be a threat to most people but are just pretty enough to stand out.

BridgetBidet Mon 27-May-13 00:06:51

Oh dear. Because all pretty people are the same and exploit it. You would never get a kind, ethical, clever, pretty person. And you would never get an ugly person who was intelligent enough to get ahead by using their wit, canniness and brain to get their own way without using their looks.

squoosh Mon 27-May-13 00:08:26

I work with a guy who is seriously stunning, the way people react to him upon first meeting him is remarkable. Their jaws drop slightly.

And he's a lovely man too.

Being beautiful is not a hardship. Nothing will ever convince me it is.

noxius Mon 27-May-13 00:12:53

I'm not self obsessed, nor ever have been, thank you, Squoosh.

unapologetic Mon 27-May-13 00:14:13

I have a stunning friend and people's eyes light up when they see her. She really is so attractive you can't help being fascinated by her and staring at her when she talks. She also happens to be outgoing, kind and friendly so would never be ostracised. Some attractive people have a bit of arrogance about them which is not appealing.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 27-May-13 00:14:21

Bridget its quite clear the op is talking about nasty ones not nice ones.

KaleyX Mon 27-May-13 00:14:58

I am plain to the nth degree, very unremarkable and nondescript looking. How do I make myself prettier?

squoosh Mon 27-May-13 00:16:49

Ummm, when did I say you were Noxius? hmm

noxius Mon 27-May-13 00:18:23

You made your comment immediately following my post. My apologies if it was not directed at me at all.

Morloth Mon 27-May-13 00:23:52

I think it is probably true to some degree.

Though I am not particularly attractive (never have been) and DH has noted that people often seem to fall over themselves for me.

I think it is because I probably a bit manipulative and I am very good at reading people/situations. So if I want something from someone I can usually figure out how to get it and make them feel good about it as well.

Very few people are actually noticeable at either end (i.e. either very beautiful or very ugly) and even those ideas are flexible.

Outliers will be treated differently, people prefer the 'average' IMO.

Aitchy Mon 27-May-13 00:24:53

Has anyone else ever also come across someone that isn't particularly good looking, but is so full of themselves and pushy that they manage somehow to convince others that they are beautiful.

I knew a girl at college who was like this; average looking really, dressed up like a dog's dinner most of the time, and constantly talking about herself and how this bloke fancied her and that bloke did, and such-and-such had approached her in the street to tell her how pretty she was.

It was quite a weird situation, and a few years later two others on our course actually said to me that they too had never thought that she was beautiful but had gone along with it.

It was like the Emperor's New Clothes

Morloth Mon 27-May-13 00:28:05

I think you can be attractive without being beautiful.

They are not necessarily the same thing.

Think about the diverse range of 'looks' people find attractive.

For instance, I like my men big, hairy, muscular and with just a bit more padding than is currently considered good. My good friend likes skinny, pale and interesting.

So if we were looking at the same man we would have different opinions as to whether he was attractive or not.

squoosh Mon 27-May-13 00:28:52

I quite admire the chutzpah of someone who can do that Aitchy, don't want to spend any time with them though, they're generally quite overbearing and insufferable!

TinBox Mon 27-May-13 00:30:07

Yes, Aitchy - particularly amongst younger women/girls. It's the ones who made the most effort who were generally regarded as the best looking. Which is more egalitarian really, in a way, so probably a bit nicer/fairer, I suppose.

Aitchy Mon 27-May-13 00:31:45

squoosh, that is exactly what she was like. Very overbearing and totally insufferable.

The course we were doing was beauty therapy and we had to do a lot of practising in pairs. I used to really hate it when I was allocated her as my partner as she'd spend the whole double lesson talking about herself whilst she plucked my eyebrows or did a facial on me.

She had a really, well I suppose it was clever, knack of making out that everyone else was totally ugly, whilst bigging herself up, but it was done in a very smiley, cutesy way and it would be quite hard to tell until you analysed the conversation a bit what she had meant.

BridgetBidet Mon 27-May-13 00:52:19

unapologetic Oooooh the OP made that so clear with the title of the thread did she?

If she'd titled the thread 'AIBU to think ugly people are automatically treated better' because of some kind of logic about them being less likely to have maternity leave etc you'd have people up in arms tweeting Caitlin Moran in their outrage.

But have a go at pretty people, that's fine. I happen to be of the Julie Burchill school of though were every time I see a beautiful girl I want to stand up and cheer, not rip her to shreds.

BridgetBidet Mon 27-May-13 00:53:48

Oh FFS. We all know that no matter how good looking you are if you're shit in bed it doesn't matter a twig anyway.

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