to be hurt and feel like SHIT ( --fucking-- --pissing-- facebook related)

(122 Posts)
MoodyDidIt Sun 26-May-13 19:57:35

the other day invited my good friend (well thought she was anyway) and her dh and dcs for a bbq this evening

she said she would let me know as she was going out friday and saturday night, so, fair enough

but for one, she hasn't even bothered to let me know

and for 2, she has tagged herself at ANOTHER friends house "having a bbq and a few drinks with good friends"

obviously got a better offer then. ouch. really gutted

really upset

formicadinosaur Sun 26-May-13 22:18:41

what about posting 'we were waiting for you! Had the BBQ on and sausages ready to go'

maddening Sun 26-May-13 22:21:36

are you sure that the BBQ is happening today and this isn't the event she was at yesterday?

greencolorpack Sun 26-May-13 22:23:41

Unfriend from Facebook. It is a tiny thing but will make you feel like you got the power back. She will friend you again in six months, no harm, no foul.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 22:42:49

i think that, unfortunately, you are getting an awful lot of terrible advice on here, Moody.

Euphemia Sun 26-May-13 22:45:26

I'm a total recluse these days. No social life at all, because I grew tired of always being let down by so-called friends. sad

Hellohippo Sun 26-May-13 22:49:48

It can't be that good a BBQ if she is on Facebook though

thebody Sun 26-May-13 22:52:23

Hi moody, I have to agree with Aitch.

She did day she was busy fri and sat.

Yes she was thoughtless but its bit the crime of the century to forget. Maybe she thought it wasn't a firm offer.

If you send her a nasty injured message over Facebook you will look a prat and needy.

Stop. Deep breath and see what happens.

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 22:52:57

frankly I wouldn't sweat this,nor would I acknowledge it
ignore it.dont speak of it and just don't invite her again
simple really

Aitchy Sun 26-May-13 22:54:35

That's awful. She doesn't sound like very much of a friend. I wouldn't put yourself out for her in future OP

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 22:55:46

So sorry about your mc,it's a time you could do with a pal
gather round good reliable folks
and justifiably have a good ole bawl

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 22:57:47

oooooh. Aitchy.... that's a bit weird. hmm. I'm Aitch, have been for a while (although have a longer name at the mo) i wonder if people might get us mixed up?

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 22:59:32

sort your names someplace else,it's inappropriate on this thread

Aitchy Sun 26-May-13 23:00:09

Euphemia I am a bit like that too. I got fed up with friends messing me around, letting me down, expecting too much from me and walking all over me.

These days all 'friends' are kept at arm's length and are mainly casual friends. I have a good social life but I have no expectations from any friends and in return don't actually 'give' much to friendships either. Hard to explain but it works for me!

ItsallisnowaFeegle Sun 26-May-13 23:01:44

What would the 'terrible' advice be, I wonder? Do elaborate.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 23:01:59

lol, scottishmummy. thank GOD you are here to keep everyone right.

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 23:03:07

and thank Christ you're here to fret over who's called what
enough already

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 23:06:08

i think advising someone to unfriend a friend of 22 years on FB on the basis of their having screwed up is a massive over-reaction. now, i can totally see why having a friend not put Moody high up on their priority list right now might cause her to have an extreme response, she must be all very, very sensitive and in need of a good level of friendship and support right now, but i can't for the life of me understand why so many people are demanding that she cut off contact without at least finding out what happened.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 23:07:13

oh, okay, SM, it's not at all confusing having an Aitch and an Aitchy, i see that now... <suitably chastised>

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 23:08:13

stop owing on about yourself

greencolorpack Sun 26-May-13 23:09:40

Aitchtwoone it depends if you think Facebook equals real life. I don't. I see it as an addition/distraction from real life. And I speak from experience, I was left out of a big old school gang party and saw lots of "isn't it nice when we all get together" posts. I deleted all my old school friends. They still invite me to things, I still go. They have all sent me friend requests again and I have accepted. They didn't ask why I Unfriended. Unfriending to me is not the same thing as literally giving up the friendship. Hope this explains.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 23:09:53

jeez, stop with the hijack, SM. without your interference it would have been one post.

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 23:12:28

you're still talkin about yourself
and you're the original itch
oh dear

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 26-May-13 23:12:48

well, not really, green, because i don't understand why you thought that unfriending them gave you more power than (if they actually are your friends) just saying 'is there a reason why i wasn't invited?' to one of them. If you were part of the gang at school, it is strange and hurtful not to invite you...

scottishmummy Sun 26-May-13 23:14:53

reading the op posts it seems the friendship has been strained
it's personal judgement call,I suppose asked on whether op feels its worth it
but I imagine whats needed is good pals and feeling validated

greencolorpack Sun 26-May-13 23:16:43

Who wants to have that discussion? Unfriending is a tiny little token gesture and yet can make you feel powerful for a second or two and then you get over it.

My advice is just advice, the Op is free to ignore it... I wouldn't call the police over this thread... I'm not forcing anyone to do anything..

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