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WIBU to tell girl on tube that I could see her breast?

(67 Posts)
MrsBertMacklin Sun 26-May-13 17:59:10

DP and I were on the tube today. Quite crowded, so seated apart.

I was sat opposite a girl, who initially, caught my eye because she was dressed and made-up in a very 'ID Magazine' look (haircut which involved an afro, bleached & shaved sections, and a really nice copper & fuschia eye, which I was trying to work out how to do).

Anyway, I noticed after a while that I could see one of her breasts. She was wearing three layered tops and the base layer was sheer. On one side of her chest, she had the other tops worn over her chest but on the other side, only the sheer top was covering her and the other two tops were sitting under her breast.

I could very clearly see her breast through the top. I sat there for a bit wondering whether it was a deliberate part of her look, then decided to have a discreet word, in case her top had slipped down & she hadn't noticed.

Anyway, it was an intentional look; girl was hmm but not upset or flustered by me mentioning it, so I thought: no harm done, I'd rather have mentioned it than not. But when DP met up with me on the tube platform and asked why I was speaking with her, he said I should have kept quiet and have probably made her feel really self-conscious.

Should I have kept quiet? If it had been abundantly obvious that nipples-out was part of her outfit, I wouldn't have said anything, but I thought it was likely that she didn't know she was flashing..?

Elquota Sat 01-Jun-13 10:38:59

YANBU. Better coming from you than some leery guy!

ZillionChocolate Sat 01-Jun-13 08:44:41

Remus, when I looked at the "threads I'm on", I only saw your first line and I did raise an eyebrow. Twirling sounds much better wink

snuffaluffagus Wed 29-May-13 17:06:52

I reckon it wasn't intentional but she was totally styling it out! Ha

ZC - I said, 'It's Vivienne Westwood, darling,' of course! smile

Not really...I twirled around to show her it was supposed to be that way and she looked at me as if I was bonkers.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Wed 29-May-13 08:50:57

I frequently tell women on escalators that their tags are hanging out, and always get a grateful "oh thankyou" in return. But what they don't know is that I only say it to women who've clearly made an effort to present a "together" appearance, whether professional, punky, or retro. I'm paying them the added silent compliment of assessing that their outfit is sufficiently groomed that a label sticking out would make a noticeable difference.

But I've never seen anyone on the tube with a single visible nipple - I reckon she was flustered and bluffing. It's one of the things you can only say woman to woman - man to woman or woman to man would be v. creepy, which is why your DH was shocked.

ZillionChocolate Wed 29-May-13 08:29:47

Remus what did you say?

MerryMarigold Tue 28-May-13 19:44:08

grin at tucking the boob in for her!

I was once chased down the street to be told my skirt was tucked into my knickers. It wasn't - it was a VW one and it was supposed to look that way!

limitedperiodonly Tue 28-May-13 12:18:19

I'm a tag-tucker too pregnantpause.

I used to tell people they'd left the stickers on the soles of their shoes but I don't do that since a girl arsily said: 'I know. So?' I just silently twitch, instead.

You did the right thing. Or at least you did what I would have dobe. I can't leave peoples tags sticking out, and have alarmed many a person in front of me in queues by tucking their tags in. I can't help myself. If it was a tit I think I would say something rather than just tuck it in for them, but I can't guarantee that my tucking in impulse wouldn't take over tbhgrin

limitedperiodonly Tue 28-May-13 12:02:46

In the '80s I worked in a small market town. Part of my job was talking to the police and asking them to go through their crime book for anything interesting. There was never anything. It was a very naice place.

One day an inspector told me that on Saturday afternoon he'd escorted a young woman to the station to turn her t-shirt inside out or face the full force of Essex Police.

It was some punky thing that he said was obscene and there were women and children about.

I can't remember whether it was particularly. But it did seem horribly self-conscious of her, so I think she deserved the humiliation just on that score. And the fact that all the cool kids had been and done punk nearly 10 years before.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Tue 28-May-13 11:52:33

The conscious effort you'd have to go to, in front of the mirror, to position a single boob just so, is ... laughable. grin Isn't it?! I mean, it's just silly. <out of touch gimmer>

You did the right thing, but I'd never have had the brass balls to do it, I'd've just sniggered from afar, so fair play to you.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 28-May-13 11:45:26

limited I'd be crying with shame inside in all honesty! grin

NotDead Tue 28-May-13 11:41:27

I always put on a colonial voice and say ' you must be freezing child cover yourself up' gives them a nice giggle at the old buffer if its intentional mortifies them nicely if not smile
Yanbu

HoHoHoNoYouDont Tue 28-May-13 11:37:38

A similar thing happened to me many years ago on a night out. A very drunk colleague had a wardrobe malfunction and her left boob was hanging out of her top. We were sat with a group of male colleagues, she was sat opposite me on one of the guys knees. As soon as I spotted said boob I shouted across to her and she was mortified and adjusted her top. The guys had a right pop at me! They said they'd spotted it ages ago but were enjoying the view!

limitedperiodonly Tue 28-May-13 11:36:12

I 100% think the girl was lying when she said it was deliberate. I'd have said the same in that position

alis Respect. I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to do that.

I've only just mastered typing 'yes' when someone here drearily asks me if I mean to be so rude.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 28-May-13 11:26:28

I 100% think the girl was lying when she said it was deliberate. I'd have said the same in that position,whilst being very grateful somebody had been kind enough to tell me.

You did the right thing OP. I'm 24 and the tit out trend is either very localised or I am very uncool or...it wasn't deliberate.

Exhaustipated Tue 28-May-13 11:23:16

This thread has given me a laugh on a dreary day.

The whole thing is hilarious IMO. The idea of someone deliberately pulling their tops down to have a boob sticking out... I find it bizzare and I'm fairly young Fwiw.

YANBU OP, although I wouldn't have been brave enough to say anything!

MerryMarigold Tue 28-May-13 09:28:53

NeoMaxi. I hope breasts are never de-mystified. Quite frankly with the amount of boob on show, the attraction to them seems to get more rather than less. They are supposed to be sexy, and with good reason. Showing them more doesn't make them less sexy, and anyway it would be a sad, old world where there was nothing sexy anymore about the opposite sex.

And as for breastfeeding, it is actually quite difficult to breastfeed and have your boobs on show! I bf'd my twins to a year and a half, frequently in public and since half your boob is in their mouth and the mere fact there is milk coming out of it, somehow it's not so sexy anymore! Bf'ing in public is a whole other issue and if you think people wearing see-through tops and showing their boobs off in a sexy manner is going to help that, you are on another planet of human psychology hmm.

bottleofbeer Tue 28-May-13 00:36:13

I was in a shop once and had a halter neck top on. The bottom half of it was chiffon and came to four points that sort of floated about iykwim? I had on a pair of short jeans with it but one of the four points had got a bit tucked into my waistband. It showed nothing really no big deal but some woman told me about it, I thanked her and wondered what the fuss was and why she even felt the need to tell me but she then went on and on and on about the embarrassment she'd saved me from. Honest to God her banging on about this non issue was what embarrassed me. It was no different to a bit of the back of your t-shirt being slightly tucked in.

But if my entire tit was on show...that's different.

Lovecat Mon 27-May-13 23:52:25

AKiss, DD (8) does that <mortified>. She gets very loudly judgemental about men being so 'rude' in the summer going topless.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:45:12

Well I couldn't comment! I'm ancient at 40 but OP reckons she was edgy.

I can't really decide whether or not I think you're being unreasonable. I do hope that you'll be going round to all the topless men you see this summer and discreetly letting them know their moobs are on display.

YouBastard Mon 27-May-13 23:38:35

Yes, you're right. Is edgy having your tit on show though? (showing age here!!) grin

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:33:32

Slightly different Bastard...I mean that was a middle aged woman not making a statement. OP was keen here to point out this girl was edgy.

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