WIBU to tell girl on tube that I could see her breast?

(67 Posts)
MrsBertMacklin Sun 26-May-13 17:59:10

DP and I were on the tube today. Quite crowded, so seated apart.

I was sat opposite a girl, who initially, caught my eye because she was dressed and made-up in a very 'ID Magazine' look (haircut which involved an afro, bleached & shaved sections, and a really nice copper & fuschia eye, which I was trying to work out how to do).

Anyway, I noticed after a while that I could see one of her breasts. She was wearing three layered tops and the base layer was sheer. On one side of her chest, she had the other tops worn over her chest but on the other side, only the sheer top was covering her and the other two tops were sitting under her breast.

I could very clearly see her breast through the top. I sat there for a bit wondering whether it was a deliberate part of her look, then decided to have a discreet word, in case her top had slipped down & she hadn't noticed.

Anyway, it was an intentional look; girl was hmm but not upset or flustered by me mentioning it, so I thought: no harm done, I'd rather have mentioned it than not. But when DP met up with me on the tube platform and asked why I was speaking with her, he said I should have kept quiet and have probably made her feel really self-conscious.

Should I have kept quiet? If it had been abundantly obvious that nipples-out was part of her outfit, I wouldn't have said anything, but I thought it was likely that she didn't know she was flashing..?

ZillionChocolate Mon 27-May-13 08:56:53

MrsBertMacklin, I'm impressed by your self restraint!

Cropcircles Mon 27-May-13 09:27:43

Am laughing at the posters who seem to want to patronise the OP for not "getting" the look. Tops pulled down under boobage and sheer tops without bras are not yet common currency, even in the wankier bits of London you know, you don't have to pretend that you'd not have batted an eyelid.

pomdereplay Mon 27-May-13 09:32:00

I think it was very kind of you.

Once I was in an 'edgy' outfit that unfortunately resulted in my bum being temporarily on show. A kind lady approached me and very discreetly let me know. I still remember it because she was decent about it!

Good for you, much nicer in these sort of situations to try and be kind and helpful rather than sneer or snicker.

LynetteScavo Mon 27-May-13 09:32:11

Made her feel self conscious, when she intended to flash her nipple?

I don't think so!

limitedperiodonly Mon 27-May-13 09:38:47

I wonder what a British Transport police officer would have said to her about deliberately exposing a part of the body that's normally covered up and not having the explanation of breast-feeding or lying on a beach?

ihearsounds Mon 27-May-13 09:38:47

Are you allowed to show your boobs in public when not bfing?

Montybojangles Mon 27-May-13 09:43:45

I would have mentioned it. Had a top malfunction similar to this, and died a death when I realised (back in the day when I didn't need scaffolding to hold my boobs above waist level).

MrsBertMacklin Mon 27-May-13 09:47:42

* I expect she just thought 'Oh bless' and had a good laugh with her mates about it.*

Probably not pepper, she wasn't a patronising bitch about it when I spoke with her about it hmm

Yes Lynette, this was my point with DP. If it had been an accident then yes, I'd have made her feel self-conscious, but better that and she gets to sort herself out, than it gets pointed out to her by a group of blokes, or she gets home and realises she's been exposed all day. As it was deliberate, I don't see that I did embarrass her by mentioning it.

You did the right thing OP. I just wish you were at a party I threw a few years ago when I was breastfeeding. I forgot to cover-up and clip up one of my bra cups after I had fed my DD, and went around for the rest of the evening with lopsided boob - with one particularly visible, since I was wearing a thin, white top. No one told me and I almost died of embarrassment when I realised just before bed. blush

I think a couple of carefully chosen words can save a lot of embarrassment later!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:25:22

MrsBert that was a bit uncalled for.

MerryMarigold Mon 27-May-13 23:28:45

I hope you did make her feel self conscious, but prob not.

MerryMarigold Mon 27-May-13 23:28:59

<clutches pearls>

YouBastard Mon 27-May-13 23:29:18

Did she actually look down and check out her boob? Maybe she didn't realise it was completely visible, but that you were talking about her top being risque or something?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:31:58

MerryMarigold....Why do you hope the OP made the girl self conscious? Why? Men show their nipples all the time. Women can't....our breasts are SO sexualised that breasfeeding is made impossible in public. If you ask me, girls showing a bit of breast now and then would de-mystify them and make BF more natural.

YouBastard Mon 27-May-13 23:32:20

Incidentally, I pointed out to a middle aged woman that her boobs were (unintentionally) hanging out by discreetly pointed at her boobs! She looked mortified, quickly did her buttons up and mouthed 'Thankyou'.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:32:45

And OP would you have said to a man "I can see your breast?" or "I can see the bottom of your arse when you bend over in those trousers?"

YouBastard Mon 27-May-13 23:33:05

*pointing

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:33:32

Slightly different Bastard...I mean that was a middle aged woman not making a statement. OP was keen here to point out this girl was edgy.

YouBastard Mon 27-May-13 23:38:35

Yes, you're right. Is edgy having your tit on show though? (showing age here!!) grin

I can't really decide whether or not I think you're being unreasonable. I do hope that you'll be going round to all the topless men you see this summer and discreetly letting them know their moobs are on display.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 27-May-13 23:45:12

Well I couldn't comment! I'm ancient at 40 but OP reckons she was edgy.

Lovecat Mon 27-May-13 23:52:25

AKiss, DD (8) does that <mortified>. She gets very loudly judgemental about men being so 'rude' in the summer going topless.

bottleofbeer Tue 28-May-13 00:36:13

I was in a shop once and had a halter neck top on. The bottom half of it was chiffon and came to four points that sort of floated about iykwim? I had on a pair of short jeans with it but one of the four points had got a bit tucked into my waistband. It showed nothing really no big deal but some woman told me about it, I thanked her and wondered what the fuss was and why she even felt the need to tell me but she then went on and on and on about the embarrassment she'd saved me from. Honest to God her banging on about this non issue was what embarrassed me. It was no different to a bit of the back of your t-shirt being slightly tucked in.

But if my entire tit was on show...that's different.

MerryMarigold Tue 28-May-13 09:28:53

NeoMaxi. I hope breasts are never de-mystified. Quite frankly with the amount of boob on show, the attraction to them seems to get more rather than less. They are supposed to be sexy, and with good reason. Showing them more doesn't make them less sexy, and anyway it would be a sad, old world where there was nothing sexy anymore about the opposite sex.

And as for breastfeeding, it is actually quite difficult to breastfeed and have your boobs on show! I bf'd my twins to a year and a half, frequently in public and since half your boob is in their mouth and the mere fact there is milk coming out of it, somehow it's not so sexy anymore! Bf'ing in public is a whole other issue and if you think people wearing see-through tops and showing their boobs off in a sexy manner is going to help that, you are on another planet of human psychology hmm.

Exhaustipated Tue 28-May-13 11:23:16

This thread has given me a laugh on a dreary day.

The whole thing is hilarious IMO. The idea of someone deliberately pulling their tops down to have a boob sticking out... I find it bizzare and I'm fairly young Fwiw.

YANBU OP, although I wouldn't have been brave enough to say anything!

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