AIBU to want to sit in my garden without being subjected to next doors loud music?

(112 Posts)
jamdonut Sun 26-May-13 16:32:28

Just that.

Lovely sunny day,chance to go out and sit in the garden, but next door have friends and their children over,and are playing awful repetitive Ibiza style music loudly. We've tried playing some Muse back at them,and they turned it down a bit,then we went in to have lunch and they turned it back up angry I wouldn't dare go talk to them about it...they're scary!

Beastofburden Sun 28-Jul-13 22:59:05

Lol agree but then I only like classical music so I always assume I am just BU about other people's music. Bloody kids, bring back good traditional British summer rain, eh?

GameSetAndMatch Sun 28-Jul-13 18:03:39

But apart from the fact they shouldnt be blasting the noise, why is it ALWAYS drum n bass stuff? always. not even decent stuff.

I just shouted across the fence as next doors brats kiddiewinks have been screaming like banshees all day. ALL day. okay, rathert hat than er- music is it?

but after 7 hours of it, not even nice laughy pretty kiddy noise, I shouted ''gosh i feel like caling social services ina minute, those kids sound like theyre being tortured''.seriously sounded like it, but I was joking, yet the person 'responsible' just asked them to stop the noise!

at last.

Beastofburden Sun 28-Jul-13 14:27:42

The thing is, if you are someone who genuinely enjoys having music on around you at all times, you will genuinely not mind hearing other people's music either. And you are probably quite good at tuning it out.

It can be hard to put yourself into the shoes of someone for whom music (or any kind of noise) is a very active choice, and if it is on, you can't really do anything else. That means that if it is music you don't enjoy, or is on too long, or at the wrong time, it is miserable. There is quite a lot of evidence that more extroverted types just experience noise differently- they notice it less and retain it less, and that's why they dont get as overwhelmed at parties and so forth as introverted people do.

People will definitely be too shy to say something, because they expect aggression back. Sometimes they would be right about that, sometimes not.

As a rule, I would say that if your neighbours don't choose to play loud music in their garden, it's probably something they don't like, and so they are probably bothered if you do.

I think for there to be some mutual understanding about this, both types of people need to recognise that the other type experiences it very differently from the way they do.

happyreindeer Sun 28-Jul-13 12:50:06

yoshipoppet I know what you mean. Our neighbour years ago used to play ub40`s red red wine over and over. Our neighbours now are great if they play music it is very low and does not last long.Awful for the op and others to have to pout up with this.

i would presume that any music i played in the garden was more likely to annoy my neighbours than please them.

yoshipoppet Sun 28-Jul-13 09:04:26

Since the weather has been warm we've had this all day and all evening from one house.

What's really bugging me about it is, it's the same bloody record all the time. If they'd change it about a bit it wouldn't be so irritating.

FacebookWanker Sun 28-Jul-13 07:43:35

Some people aren't approachable so it's not always as simple as just talking to them.

loud music can be a problem and very stressful if it's keeping you awake night after night...

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:19:18

I can never understand why anyone thinks it is OK to play music in their garden- it is antisocial to inflict it on others.

I don't mind a bit of music in the garden occasionally, I DO however object to being kept awake at night by the incredibly loud classic music that one neighbour insists on singing along to, late into the night. It's inside his house but with his windows open, even if we shut ours it still wakes the children up. And don't get me started on lawn mowers etc! grin

cuntingrimmer08 Sun 28-Jul-13 06:52:21

Music in gardens part of summer, loud and persistent music into the early hours is anti social . My neighbours like to have their surround sound so loud it can be heard over our tv . Also on at 4.00 in the morning so I can actually hear dialogue . That's unacceptable IMO .

deakymom Sun 28-Jul-13 00:15:09

we have issues with our neighbours over this he also allows his overweight son to bounce naked on the trampoline which they have just moved right next to our fence he only does it because last year he had a girl living with them so she decided to sunbathe on the shed roof facing our garden (not there own) and it set my son off yelling about tits in the garden so now his son is flashing his bits off and whenever my son goes to bed he starts shouting by the fence its only a short garden and because we have the window open we can hear everything they also had a dog that would bark constantly so i reported it i had enough of it waking the baby up

honestly these people even jumped the fence to swipe food last year i saw the girls butt and my food disappearing over the fence total nightmare
but today when they were playing there music loud i suggested random things to my husband (loud enough to hear) like water bomb the cd player and move house and exchange with some really bad travellers the music suddenly dipped to a reasonable level? hmmmm

AudrinaAdare Sat 27-Jul-13 22:00:08

I always turn my car music right down (although it is never that loud) when driving through villages and populated areas. Especially when turning into the development I live in which is just off a busy a-road.

I once went outside raving like a madwoman and complained when a van turned up with music blaring and they left it on while fixing whatever needed doing two doors down. To be fair, I had been up with DS all night and he had just gone to sleep at two p.m, but people work shifts / are ill and perhaps don't want to be forced to listen to shite rap while they are in their own homes disturbing nae fucker angry

ConstantCraving Sat 27-Jul-13 21:29:43

I dread summer because of the noise. I HATE listening to other people's music when I'm in my garden. I would never play music outside and even indoors keep it low if the windows are open. Surely that's just being considerate? Can't believe the number of people on here who think its fine to sit in the garden with their music blaring for everyone else to 'enjoy'.

Bumblequeen Sat 27-Jul-13 19:58:36

My neighbours have four dc and during the summer are out in their garden from 7.30/8am until 7pm. If they have guests they stay out until much later. They drink, play music and the children scream, cry and shout. They do not seem to go on day trips at all- just school and home. Sometimes I dread the summer months and am glad when it rains.

Dh says that I am unsociable and could live on a desert island. If we could afford it I would live in a detached house.

GameSetAndMatch Sat 27-Jul-13 19:09:32

Tinbox can i ask - genuine question-do you play loud music in your garden yourself or you live in a totally quiet street?

no ones saying people cant liste to their music, but as a another poster said it IS crap for one, and the whole street dont need to be subjected all hours.

AudrinaAdare Sat 27-Jul-13 18:36:00

I just find it baffling. If you want to listen to music, listen to music. If you want to converse with people, do that. Why try to do both at the same time and have your music so loud that your guests have to sit in the garden shouting over it and causing even more of a nuisance for everyone? confused

Loud music and stilted conversation in clubs having formed the basis for many a poor choice of man when I was younger

GameSetAndMatch Sat 27-Jul-13 17:33:00

totes agree with Zata.

Whothefuckfarted Sat 27-Jul-13 17:16:15

Christ, never thought i'd see the day someone was being flamed for having a BBQ or a party in their own garden on a lovely summer afternoon/evening.

As long as it's not going on every weekend I think YABU and should cut them some slack. The fact that they are HA and you are house owners is neither here nor there.

Just makes you sound a bit snobby.

zatyaballerina Sat 27-Jul-13 16:14:03

I hate people who are so inconsiderate, selfish and anti social that they inflict their (always terrible, the worse the taste, the louder the music) on everybody. One idiot moves into the community and everybody suffers, that's not fair. There should be special communities for hideously noisy, anti socials to live together where they could make as much noise as they want, as long as they want, at any time they want as far away as possible from civilised people.

People like this will never 'get' it, they think that because they like their noise and it's ok with them if others make an inappropriate level of noise that they're entitled to ruin everybody else's day. They're either too stupid or too selfish to understand how irritating they are to the rest of the world.

I wouldn't tell them directly, if they're selfish enough to inflict it on you then they won't care if they're disturbing or upsetting you, better to complain to people who'll force them to do something about it.

To the minority of idiots on this thread trying to justify their anti social behaviour by accusing everybody else of being 'joyless'; there's nothing joyful about living near people like you, you are the ones who suck the joy out of other peoples day and ruin the reputation of good neighbourhoods, get over yourselves and stop inflicting yourself on others. Nobody wants to hear you.

Leeds15 Sat 27-Jul-13 14:58:37

I can't believe so many people are having same problem as I am - neighbours thinking they can make as much noise as they like and making it unbearable to sit out on the rare chance I get on a weekend - feel a bit better knowing there are others in same boat - maybe we should all move into the same street ! Unfortunately we live in a society where so many people do not give a damn about those around them.we have 4 kids but I have always taught them to respect those around them and to keep their noise down in and out of the house so as not to annoy the neighbours - if I had the means I would move to another country where hopefully people are more considerate

TinBox Mon 03-Jun-13 17:35:22

It sounds like it was a one off for New Year. How can it annoy you so much?

A move to suburbia isn't a move into a retirement community. Lots of people live in the suburbs, not all of them are there by choice so it's unfair to assume they have the same values as you.

RealAleandOpenFires Mon 03-Jun-13 01:17:25

Boomba - Damn right I object to a solid 12 hour "rave" in Suburia!.

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen Mon 03-Jun-13 01:08:32

I lived in a busy, built-up inner city neighbourhood for 8 years. Most people were lovely and there was always something interesting going on, but the constant racket of loud car stereos driving by, neighbours holding loud parties unexpectedly and other petty annoyances like passers-by stuffing rubbish in our hedge (unwanted CD? Fork? Miniature JD bottle that sheared into fragments and shot out everywhere when DH hit it with electric hedge trimmer?) eventually got us down and I now really enjoy peace and quiet elsewhere. So I guess I am sympathetic to people who get twitchy about noise because it makes your environment feel much tougher and more unpredictable, and that can really wear you down after a while.

Boomba Mon 03-Jun-13 00:59:27

Yeah, I don't celebrate NYE and am generally in bed by 10pm but its NYE!!!!! I don't expect everyone to be as miserable as me! It's an exception huh? If it wad every weekend for 12 hours, that's different

No, not in Scotland. Why do you ask?

Maybe, its about where you live. This is generally quite a noisy busy place, lots of street parties, lots of celebrations....

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen Mon 03-Jun-13 00:59:09

Just curious, NYE is a much bigger deal up there. I grew up there but don't miss it.

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