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to be hacked off that dp spent £200 on 1D tickets

(77 Posts)
holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 11:46:38

For next year . We are barely scraping thru the week and we both work full time. In fact he gets lends off his mum all the time. Its seriously making me think twice about moving in with him. He bought 4 tickets...he has one dc..they are for dc friends apparently. Plonker.

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 20:23:41

Are you ok?

It's the right decision, holstenlips, you know it is. I hope you have a nice time at your parents, and some headspace from all of this. brew

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 20:31:30

Thanks yes im ok. More relieved that I have avoided a tits up scenario where I move my kids and my life .

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 20:44:23

I do think you have make the right decision OP.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 20:50:16

Yep. Moving in would mean a new home school job for me and my kids...whereas he would be giving up / changing nothing.
Im actually feeling pretty relieved that I dont have to do this.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 20:51:50

And his mum was so cross that he tells her he needs money for mortgage..and doesnt pay it . Perhaps he will wake up now (doubt it)

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 20:53:09

You don't have to do anything, especially 'for love'.

I think you sound light a very bright spark, tbh. Good luck - you deserve it.

His mums enabling him though.

You don't deserve to be his new surrogate mum now do you? You've already got children.

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sun 26-May-13 21:17:17

Good decision. It would be too big a risk and you would very likely regret moving your kids' schools, your job etc all to end up paying someone else's mortgage (you wouldn't even be legally entitled to any of the house then either!) while he spent all his money on crap for himself.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 21:21:26

Precisely . My relationship history is not getting any better but at least im spotting the pitfalls prior to upheaving. My kids and I will survive..I can manage my own finances. Cheers :-)

The fact that you feel relieved now you've made the decision to not move in; well really, that say it all!

HansieMom Sun 26-May-13 21:29:14

I would not feed him. Not when your money is tight.

Donnadoon Sun 26-May-13 21:32:15

Well done OP thanks

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sun 26-May-13 21:34:52

Onwards and upwards holsten! flowers

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 21:37:23

Thanks everyone . Flipping idiot.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 22:43:51

Final nail in coffin: I just said to him if I move in and he does this sort of stuff with money it will cause all sorts of arguments.
His answer: if I was living with him he would need me to stop him doing this sort of thing.
Errr NO. Im not your mum . Crikey.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 26-May-13 22:57:55

Well done OP.

It sounds like he can't and won't take any responsibility for himself. He expects his mum to do it, and he'll expect you to do it too.

Darkesteyes Sun 26-May-13 23:03:13

Well done OP. I had an ex like this.
He said i would have to nag him to be careful with money.
When i said "I dont want to because it will become very wearing and i dont want to be turned into a nag"
His reply? Oh no Nag me I love it. I didnt move in with him either.
Youve done the right thing.

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sun 26-May-13 23:24:55

Oh, great, so then when it happened it would be your fault for not stopping him doing it? You're well out of that.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 23:39:09

Exactly snazzy. Its just not happening. Apparently he called his mum after buying the 1d tickets and asked for another loan. Fgs.
I think its cheeky. My eyes are opening to the fact that as a lone parent of 2dc I work full time and he uses my home about 4 nights a week on average which means all my costs are up. I cook for us all. And his salary is twice mine.
He spends on an expensive hobby too.
His mum even said she had bought me and kids some chocolate did we enjoy it? You know what, he ate the lot and never even told me. Petty but still...why is he so entitled? His parents are paying for him to have a holiday this year and giving him money for loss of earnings too for the week. He wont learn if noone tells him no.
He said I was making him feel ashamed and guilty for wasting the money.

Bobyan Mon 27-May-13 00:21:17

Run, run like the wind.

You want a partner not another child.

Loulybelle Mon 27-May-13 00:37:55

You do realise if you moved in with him, it'd be you paying the mortgage instead, you'd have basically been a lodger he has sex with occasionally.

hermioneweasley Mon 27-May-13 07:23:24

Well done OP for realising you are worth more than this.

LIZS Mon 27-May-13 07:28:38

Well done op . He behaves like a spoilt child , not an adult on a decent wage. His mum may moan but he couldn't do this without her and even she may have hoped you'd be in line to take over.

holstenlips Mon 27-May-13 07:45:20

thanks yes his mum looked gutted when I said im not moving in. She wants someone to take care of her baby! The house needs a total overhaul too so I would have paid for that too im sure.
Happy to be staying put.

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