to be hacked off that dp spent £200 on 1D tickets

(77 Posts)
holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 11:46:38

For next year . We are barely scraping thru the week and we both work full time. In fact he gets lends off his mum all the time. Its seriously making me think twice about moving in with him. He bought 4 tickets...he has one dc..they are for dc friends apparently. Plonker.

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 13:19:44

holstenlips, I expect he's running up quite a lot of debt on his mortgage which will follow him wherever he goes.

And even if you say no to his moving in (which you wisely seem to have decided) - regarding his mortgaged property, whether he sells, is repossessed or carries on getting his mum to pay for him, this will hang like an albatross around the neck of your relationship.

Loulybelle Sun 26-May-13 13:24:24

You need to decide if you want to spend a lifetime bailing out and feeding a grown man, what will happen if he loses his house, will he be at your door or mummies.

QueVes Sun 26-May-13 13:32:46

And the worst part is that your child is now obliged to go to a one direction gig.

LIZS Sun 26-May-13 13:35:44

yanbu , 1D will be past history by then anyway, and I think you should reconsider your future with him if he feels so free with other people's money at the expense of basic living costs.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 15:27:39

Its ok my children dont like 1d. Im cross because we really struggle to pay for our living arrangements. I was planning to move in after summer hols. I suppose his parents can afford it but to me its not something I would do. His mum seems to baby him

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 15:29:41

Just got to tell him now!

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 15:41:08

And yes he is in arrears with mortgage. Because I rent we were meant to be moving in together to pool our resources.
But its put me right off that instead of paying for necessities ie food fares to work bills he buys these tickets to appease a stroppy teenager.
We had food parcel last week from his mum. :-(
I hope im not being too harsh

hermioneweasley Sun 26-May-13 15:49:00

Of course you're not being harsh. He is completely irresponsible. Given his attitude I don't see how you coukd ever live together and have joint finances, so I would reconsider whether this is a relationship you want to be in. He is also freeloadng off you if you're feeding him and he hasn't offered to contribute to costs.

Viviennemary Sun 26-May-13 15:56:32

Well if you don't have joint finances I can't really see that you have a say in how he spends his money unless you are supposed to be saving up for someting in particular. Or unless he owes you money. But he doesn't sound very responsible financially if he is eating at your house regularly and not contributing anything.

"we were meant to be moving in together to pool our resources."
Unfortunately it looks as if his idea of pooling resources is that you would provide and he would spend sad. And your resources are already pooled - you provide food, he eats it. holstenlips, thank your lucky stars you haven't already moved in, and that you aren't financially entangled with him. And make sure you don't become entangled!

CherylTrole Sun 26-May-13 16:03:47

Why would you subject your children and yourself to this jerk?? I cant see any reason why you would?

Oh, and stop feeding him! It may be on a smaller scale, but it means you ARE enabling his behaviour, just the same as his mother is doing.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 16:15:26

Good point Where. Im off to my parents tomorrow for a few days..so I will politely say he cant stay in my house which is what he expects to do as it means no costs for him. Why is he so irresponsible. More to the point I feel pretty sure he wont change. Just intuition though.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 26-May-13 16:41:56

Bad idea moving in with him. Do not pool your resources, you will be paying for everything. He clearly has no idea how to be responsible with money and will look to you to bail him out. Plus your credit rating will be terrible.

Don't do it!

Ragwort Sun 26-May-13 16:45:47

What is the attraction of this man-child? Do you really want someone like that in your life, possibly influencing your own child - what are his good points? Do NOT let him stay at your place while you are away, he sounds like a scrounger.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 16:49:35

He has many good points...so does living alone with my dc though.

Why would he expect to stay in your house when you are not there confused? Has he really become that blatant a user? shock

StuntGirl Sun 26-May-13 16:54:59

Why would you want to date such a feckless loser?

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 26-May-13 16:55:51

He's a manchild.

People rarely change ime, not with deep held attitudes like money. For some it's all for spends and for others it's for bills and savings and a little bit of spends.

Ragwort Sun 26-May-13 16:55:55

Well, what are his 'many' good points?

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 26-May-13 16:56:18

Don't be clouded by his good points, it doesn't make up for the fact that he has one big shockingly bad point. Do you want to be forever bailing him out because he can't be bothered to be responsible? Why should his Mum give him money? He needs to grow up.

If you live with him are you going to spend each month worrying about where the money is going to come from?

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 17:35:22

I already spend all month worrying about money. Its ok im not going to do it.

McNewPants2013 Sun 26-May-13 19:33:57

He sounds like a cock lodger, I see big red flags here.

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 19:37:05

Good for you, holsten.

And don't get guilt tripped. Possibly has been expecting you to move in and pay for everything because otherwise you would make yourself and DC homeless.

holstenlips Sun 26-May-13 20:13:51

Oh well ive spoken to his mum and she told me he has had thousands from her in the last 2 years :-( meanwhile he doesnt pay mortgage arrears and has bought a new ps3 recently as well as id tickets..his mum said her parents and themselves have always bailed him up...over twenty years :-( oh well ive told him and his mum moving in is not happening :-( thanks all

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