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To think that DH is selfish and thoughtless?

(164 Posts)
chinley Sat 25-May-13 20:49:59

This will probably seem petty to some but I'm actually so angry I feel like crying.

DH and I had plans to go out this evening. He's been at his mother's house all evening. I came home at 7pm and started getting ready to go out, spent an hour and a half getting ready, showered, shaved, washed my hair, put full makeup on and then received a text from DH saying he was going to stay there and we could go out tomorrow instead.

Now, tomorrow I'm going to be driving his mother on a 5 hour round trip so I will be too tired to be getting ready all over again and then going anywhere.

I just don't understand why he waited for me to go to so much effort and get ready and THEN tell me!

It just seems so careless!

AIBU to be fuming?

I honestly feel like crying.

DontmindifIdo Sat 25-May-13 21:01:27

Text back he can cancel his plans tomorrow.

(And call round friends, you might find someone is free or doesn't mind quick turn around, if I have someone else to have DS, I can be out of the house in 20 minutes so long as my hair is already ok!)

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 21:02:38

ring your mum/dad/ brother/sister and go to the cinema with them. do something. just dont stay in. you'll feel much better if you go out.

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:03:04

Outrageous. How disrespectful he is. He doesn't give a shit does he?

DontmindifIdo Sat 25-May-13 21:03:14

"stop being like that please" ? really? How about "I'm really angry, you can explain to your mum you are driving her tomorrow."

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:03:42

He just said he wanted to spend more time there because she's going away tomorrow, but the fact is he knew that from a week ago so that's no excuse for dropping it on me at the very last minute.

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 21:03:51

if you're in county down i'll go to cinema with you! no dcs here tonight and i still have my make up on. grin

MagicHouse Sat 25-May-13 21:04:31

I told him I'd spent an hour and half getting ready and asked why he couldn't have told me earlier, he said "stop being like that please." shock

That's really rude - you're not "being like" anything! YANBU to be annoyed and upset. You might not feel like going out tonight, but can you make some plans to go out with friends very soon??

PuppyMonkey Sat 25-May-13 21:04:52

Well if he can change the plans for tonight, he'll maybe have to change his plans tomorrow and take his mum on the trip.
You go and do something nice yourself instead. What a knob.

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:04:59

"Stop being like that please"

Translation: Don't bother expressing your feelings about this. I'm not listening and I don't care. Be quiet now.

BreasticlesNTesticles Sat 25-May-13 21:05:09

Well mummy's boy can take his own mother on holiday then if spending time with her is so precious to him hmm

Poor you sad

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 21:05:18

well he's been there all day. what more can he need to do/say to her taht he hasn't already done whilst there?

and as for "dont be like that" that's code for- i cant be arsed listening to you and i know you're right.

Hang on, you're driving her because he had plans?

I would be furious after the effort you've made.

You could be awkward and say you're not driving her, see what he says then. He's a twat for letting you down .

I agree, go out and tell him to do the driving tomorrow.

chinley Sat 25-May-13 21:05:34

Thanks for all the suggestions but I don't have many friends and people would need childcare etc, cant be sorted in the next hour. I'm just going to stay home.

DontmindifIdo Sat 25-May-13 21:05:49

or even better, call round friends, find someone else who's free, even if it's just a friend who's in on their own this evening and fancies company - ask kindly if you could sleep over on their sofa.

Pack and overnight bag, go to theirs, switch off your mobile, stay over, leave a note for him saying "i've changed my plans too, probably won't be taking your mum tomorrow".

You can wander in at 30 minutes before you'd have to leave to take his mum tomorrow.

MagicHouse Sat 25-May-13 21:07:04

How about getting a bottle of wine and taking it to a friend's? smile (and staying there the night)

karatekimmi Sat 25-May-13 21:07:11

Can't you go to the cinema by yourself?

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 21:07:35

i agree. he should take her tomorrow. he doesn't feel any guilt about changing your plans for tonight at short notice so he should accept you changing his plans for tomorrow at short notice.

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:08:18

He wanted to spend more time with mummy because she's going on holiday?
At the expense of standing you right the fuck up.
And then he tells you to "stop being like that" when you complain??

Outrageous!!

Booyhoo Sat 25-May-13 21:09:00

go to a friends house and have a drink there. then they dont need to sort childcare.

Liara Sat 25-May-13 21:11:03

He's like this because you let him.

Stand up for yourself. Tell him to be ready to go out in 5 minutes or you will not be doing him the massive favour of driving his mother tomorrow.

And stick to what you say.

People can only walk all over you if you allow them to, and more often than not if you allow them to they will.

Euclase Sat 25-May-13 21:11:15

I'd be livid angry

He change HIS plans tomorrow and take his mummy.

inneedofrain Sat 25-May-13 21:11:23

Um he is very selfish

BUT I think I would be going to the cinema on my own to see something that I wanted to, something nice and long and then maybe a drink or to on the way home (if your getting a cab)

Go on get your self a stupid big pop corn drink etc and watch a film

Don't sit at home moping and waiting for him to come back it is exactly what he wants

pictish Sat 25-May-13 21:11:25

Never mind going to the cinema or a friend's - be there to greet him in all your dolled up glory when he gets home, and rip him a new one.

pinkballetflats Sat 25-May-13 21:11:26

You're taking her because he has other plans? Well, I guess he's now just going to have to take her! He just massively inconvenienced you by changing his plans last minute...so now he gets to be massively inconvenienced by having to take his mother because, oops, you've changed YOUR mind last minute!

Wanker.

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