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to make a scene on the train

(363 Posts)
photographerlady Fri 24-May-13 22:06:34

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

BoffinMum Tue 28-May-13 10:42:00

I think the basic fact here is that UK trains are rather crap in terms of customer comfort and care, in relation to the fares paid. I am sure we can all agree on that.

Inertia Mon 27-May-13 15:03:49

Leaving work earlier doesn't help if the platform announcement only goes out a few minutes before departure. The OP would just be standing for longer looking at the departure board.

Binkybix Mon 27-May-13 08:14:20

"It is often not possible to walk the length of the train on the platform before the train leaves a station (so your idea wouldn't work Binkybix"

It's what I've done whilst pregnant, because its actually quicker to do this than walk through the crowded carriages, but maybe OP is not able to do this comfortably. You sometimes don't need to walk to the end as there are carriages before that with seats (as in this case).

I can't believe this has turned into such an epic! It seemed to me that in the situation described there were clearly seats fairly easily available that OP could get to but that she just didn't want to, rather than any of the scenarios that people are making up for themselves here (ie physically impossible for people to move on the train). This compounded by the fact that OP seemed to want to throw a tantrum made her seem a bit unreasonable.

Meh. I would agree that if there was no physical way of moving through the carriages OP was being reasonable. We don't know that. Some people are getting very worked up here on something that is, after all, a matter of opinion about unreasonableness!

alotofthetimes Mon 27-May-13 06:24:13

midnight fairly often people are standing even though there is a free window or middle seat. They are not obliged to sit and may prefer to stand rather than being squished next to someone.

The problem with this though is that when they are standing they then become a hindrance to others who are trying to find a seat and need to squish past the standing people. Also the people at the platform looking to get on a train will see people standing and will assume the carriage is full.

Maybe the guard should make an announcement telling people where the available seats are and for someone who is standing to sit if there is a vacant seat nearby.

Drivers do this on buses, especially if there are seats available on the upper deck and people are standing below, which often happens as well.

alotofthetimes Mon 27-May-13 05:58:06

photogragherlady you only have 3 weeks to go so my advise would be to just keep doing what you are doing.

It doesnt sound unreasonsable, I know that sometimes there may be the odd middle/window seat free in a carriage that appears to be full with people standing in the aisle and I dont think you should be expected to search every carriage for these odd spare seats.

Goodluck and if it happens again just apologise and ask her which carriage has the spare seats to save you from searching in all the carriages for them. I dont think you should make a fuss though as you dont want to risk being thrown off.

MusicalEndorphins Mon 27-May-13 05:37:12

I have only read half of the replies, so excuse me if this has been suggested, but could you arrange to leave work 15-30 minutes earlier, so you won't be in too much of a rush to board one of the trains further down that have empty seats?

Otherwise, you kind of have no legs to stand on....I mean, I would offer a pregnant woman my seat if I was able, and I would not have asked you to move if the first class had empty seats, but you can't really expect to have a first class seat when there are other ones available.

ChasedByBees Mon 27-May-13 02:38:31

The train inspector did manage on this occasion but on my route, the train is often extremely full and impassable in carriages C-F (with FC in G) and mostly full with the occasional seat free in A and B. this is frustrating but people gather in the vestibules while there are still seats in all carriages - presumably so they don't get stuck trying to get off at the first stop but it makes it difficult to move down the train.

It is often not possible to walk the length of the train on the platform before the train leaves a station (so your idea wouldn't work Binkybix).

Also my train thins out at the first stop after London so seats might become available (and the inspector would be able to travel down the train) but you still have to squeeze by some people standing in the aisles of fuller carriages (so they have to lean over someone sitting while you lean over someone sitting on the other side as you shuffle past in the narrow aisle). I don't think it's reasonable to expect a large pregnant woman to check that for potentially 5 carriages at every stop. Even if the inspector tells you there's a seat, if you have to pass people in the aisles or vestibules I don't think it's reasonable.

If you also wait until the train is stationary, more people will join the service and the seat may be taken so you would have to move while the train is travelling to get to the seat.

If people imagine a train where no one stands if there's a seat free then I can see that it would be more reasonable to ask her to move (but uncharitable still) but people often don't fill seats neatly like that on trains.

tethersend Sun 26-May-13 23:59:15

How can we make south west trains aware of this? Can anyone tweet them? I feel like we could do with their input to know who is really unreasonable...

It's not me

MidniteScribbler Sun 26-May-13 23:41:11

Those that are saying you are perhaps haven't been on a train in rush hour. It's not easy (or sometimes even possible) to walk down the length of a train carriage. If people are standing, you have to squeeze past them and their bags.

If there were vacant seats in second class, then there would hardly have been people standing in the aisles packed in like sardines.

TinBox Sun 26-May-13 22:16:43

Well I suppose she could bolt down the back of the train before it leaves the station, but this is 2013 in an affluent country, and it's probably not that necessary to be so strict about a temporary rail pass. Nor is it an image the train company would probably want to promote - sending pregnant women down to the end of the platform.

Binkybix Sun 26-May-13 21:53:17

As I've said before I would not have asked her to move, but I have to disagree that walking 5 extra carriage lengths down the platform is a great length to go to.

In fact, it would probably be less effort than squeezing through the first five packed ones to get to FC, because likelihood is there would be a free seat in the carriages furthest from the station, so she would need to squeeze through fewer carriages.

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 26-May-13 21:51:19

Exactly, tinbox

TinBox Sun 26-May-13 21:46:08

Why should she have to go to such lengths? You're talking about the difference between a completely full, and almost completely full train. You're talking about half a dozen seats on ten carriages. It's beyond anal to suggest that the use of the pass is unreasonable.

Binkybix Sun 26-May-13 21:39:17

It also appears that the OP managed it in the end, as well as the first 5 carriages.

As I suggested earlier, might be easier to walk down the platform to the end carriages, which are nearly always less full, in the first place.

Floggingmolly Sun 26-May-13 20:58:01

The ticket inspector appears to have managed it...

ChasedByBees Sun 26-May-13 20:29:37

I assume that because people are suggesting she moves down several carriages when it's sometimes physically impossible for even those that aren't pregnant.

crashdoll Sun 26-May-13 20:17:27

"Those that are saying you are perhaps haven't been on a train in rush hour."

Quite the contrary. Not sure why you'd assume we have no idea but whatever. hmm I've never seen a person in genuine need of a seat in a 2nd class carriage ever be denied.

OP would be hugely unreasonable to make a scene, that just screams the MN version of entitled to me. If I were the FCC ticket inspector, I would not have asked her to move but OP is not within her rights to sit wherever she wants. IMO, it sounded like she just preferred first class because it was less hassle which is understandable when 33 wks pregnant but I can also see the ticket inspector's POV.

ChasedByBees Sun 26-May-13 20:12:44

Oh and someone said they were still driving the day they have birth as if to prove how capable they were. I drove myself to hospital when my waters broke but there's no way I could walk down a packed carriage. Totally different thing so drop the smugathon.

Unami Sun 26-May-13 20:11:05

It's just really picky and petty to say that her use of the pass was unfair and unreasonable. It's insisting she follow the letter and not the spirit of the law.

ChasedByBees Sun 26-May-13 20:09:47

FFS only read first 200 pages but the amount of snark is making me cross.

Of course YANBU. Those that are saying you are perhaps haven't been on a train in rush hour. It's not easy (or sometimes even possible) to walk down the length of a train carriage. If people are standing, you have to squeeze past them and their bags. I've had to abandon my reserved seat in a far carriage on occasion because I simply can't reach it, this is when not pregnant.

For those saying 'ask someone to move when there are no seats' why should she when this scheme allows her to sit in first carriage if there are no seats? Why make the ordinary carriage more crowded when actually, she is entitled to a seat in FC? (And I mean properly entitled - she has a pass and everything, not the ridiculous MN version of the word).

I had the same OP. I was on a train that I simply couldn't move through so I sat in FC. The jobsworth conductor told me there were spaces 4 carriages down and I told her it simply wasn't possible for me to reach them. I stayed where I was. although got massively glared at by her when her nice colleague gave me a complimentary orange juice. Take that entitled fans!

Alligatorpie Sun 26-May-13 20:02:46

I can't believe this thread is still going.

Op admits for 4 weeks she has been going to FC as the first five trains are full - (without checking the less busy part of the train.) Inspector tells her some seats are empty and as per the T&C, she is expected to move. Her upgrade is valid only when SC is full. it was not. Op decides she wants to throw a tantrum because she likes FC but doesn't want to pay.

How is this considered reasonable? FFS.

Unami Sun 26-May-13 19:22:56

Again, she'd looked through 50% of a busy train and made a reasonable decision to stop in first class. Going through the rest of the train, to the very end, to look for a seat is over the top, and then, if there was no seat available, would involve her then turning back and trying to get past all the other people going to the end of the train. So, she'd probably end up stuck standing at the end of the train until the isle was clear enough to get back up to first class. Not very practical, and not inkeeping with the the spirit of the pass in the first place.

Floggingmolly Sun 26-May-13 19:15:21

Why should extra consideration extend to allowing pregnant women a seat in 1st class when there are 2nd class seats available?
She wasn't asked to stand, drag someone else out of their seat, or sit in the luggage rack.
She was simply expected to use the vacant seats in 2nd class, because she had paid for a 2nd class ticket.

Guide26 Sun 26-May-13 19:10:15

You are being unreasonable, the ticket has limitations, one of them being if the train is full then you are allowed to use first class, the train wasnt full so you should of sat in a normal seat, if you're struggling so much you need to discuss with your boss about leaving work earlier or getting a later train home so its not such a rush.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 26-May-13 18:58:55

Why not gummy bear? Some people feel like shite while pg. Extra consideration for those who feel like shite ( for whatever) reason, would make the world a nicer place.

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