To think no you don't know how hard it is actually!

(164 Posts)

I am actually sick of mothers I see in real life telling me that they get how hard being a single mum is because their Dp works and he doesn't get home til after the baby is in bed?

Well actually no, you don't get how hard it is! You don't get how some times I might no see another human for days.
You don't.know how much it kills me emotionally. How lonely it is. Yes it's great too. But you don't have 100% responsibility.
You get your weekends together.. I can't even go to the loo without the wine starting!!

I really need to off aload about RL

BlackAffronted Fri 24-May-13 07:39:28

I have been there, single mum to 2 under 3 and it sucked sad

BlackAffronted Fri 24-May-13 07:40:02

Actually, the internet saved me, being able to "chat" to people was a lifeline. It will get better as they get older though.

Altinkum Fri 24-May-13 07:42:10

Its not a competition, do you know how hard it is with a severely disabled child, or a child who has selective mutism.... Even if you did, its not a my life is harder than yours... Etc....

YABU and rude.

bootsycollins Fri 24-May-13 07:42:19

Yeah that is pretty insulting.

VelvetSpoon Fri 24-May-13 07:43:06

YANBU in the slightest.

However be prepared for a load of posts now along the lines of oh it's much better to be on your own than a shitty relationship, blahblahblah.

Thing is, we have all been in shitty relationships, for most of us that's the reason we are now single. And it IS harder being on your own, esp if the Ex is useless and you have no family support/useless friends. I was horribly unhappy in my relationship, I was physically/verbally abused. I don't miss that - obviously - but I do miss having another adult to speak to, someone to discuss things with. Someone to sit with the kids if I needed to nip to the shops.

The Internet is fab, I'm very down right now. Had to submit court papers against the ex yesterday to try and get contact for 'dd.
So people are trying to support me by saying they know how I feel?
Urm no, you have your own house, gorgeous car, family that have your dd two nights a week oh and a lovely Dp.

I live in a box room with my parents with my dd, survive on benefits, volunteer as I love it, trying to study.
Have no one to have dd.

Urm so no we're not really alike and no you can't ever understand.

I did not mention disabled children in my post.

bootsycollins Fri 24-May-13 07:44:10

Not you Alti. Valid point made there.

I also don't feel it's a competition.

Bearandcub Fri 24-May-13 07:45:27

Good grief let the woman moan! Off load OP, by all means.

AngryGnome Fri 24-May-13 07:45:30

I agree with altimkum - it's not a competition. Everyone has for differ t challenges in their lives, there doesn't seem to be much purpose to competitive martyrdom.

MorrisZapp Fri 24-May-13 07:45:44

I don't blame anybody for having a rant or a moan about how hard it is being a lone parent.

But Yabu to take it out on well meaning friends who are trying to give you credit.

bootsycollins Fri 24-May-13 07:46:03

How old is your dc MakeItUp?

Maybe I'll leave now. Crawl back into my competitive hole. Because that's obviously what I think about parenting that its a competition.
Because dd isn't disabled I'm not allowed to find it hard.

Never mind. Maybe should have posted in lone parents where they understand

She's 8 months

mumnotmachine Fri 24-May-13 07:47:47

If you live with your parents how do you go days without seeing another human?

My parents work long hours.

racmun Fri 24-May-13 07:49:33

Op do you not think those mums who annoy are just trying to empathise with you a bit.

I suspect that they are just trying to say that their life isn't perfect either and in a nice way trying to make you feel a bit better

I might be wrong but I would hope so.

WhatDoesTheDogSay Fri 24-May-13 07:49:47

I was literally just thinking the same thing! The other partner not being physically present some of the time, and that includes those who work away, is not the same as being a lone parent. I don't mean this in a misery-contest sort of way, it's just frustrating when anyone downplays the reality of doing it all yourself.

Thank you WhatDoes

WhatDoesTheDogSay Fri 24-May-13 07:50:32

Massive x-post!!

VelvetSpoon Fri 24-May-13 07:50:38

I wish people would leave off with the theres someone worse off than you.

It only ever seems to be single parents on the receiving end of this bulllshit. apparently if you're in a relationship you're allowed to bitch, if you're on your own you just have to suck it up hmm

MorrisZapp Fri 24-May-13 07:51:16

Of course you're allowed to moan! Moan away by all means, that's what MN is for.

I just think you're pissed off at the wrong people. People who are, in their own way, trying to empathise with you and show support.

Of course its hard, in ways many of us couldn't imagine. But that's not the fault of other mothers who may well find life very challenging too.

suchashame Fri 24-May-13 07:51:17

Well at least thet are trying to empathise rather than belitte you or give you a hard time of it.

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