To be terrified of full time nursery?

(31 Posts)
cherhorowitz Thu 23-May-13 14:21:09

So I found out I have a full time job today which is absolutely brilliant news and I am chuffed. I visited the nursery where DD2 (2 yo) will be staying from 8:30am - 5:30pm today and while it's brilliant, the staff seem friendly and it does seem like a 'Home away from home' environment I am terrified.

Myself or DP never not been with DD2. When one of us is out or he's working the other is with her. DD1 is 5 and is in reception but will be going from school to the same nursery until 5:30 too. I feel that DD1 will be fine with it as she just loves to be active and occupied but DD2 is tugging at my heartstrings. She loves other children, playing etc but it's a very long time for her to be away from me.

Tell me IABU. Tell me the great things about private nurseries. I feel like crying although this job is my perfect career job and I couldn't be happier about it. I am so conflicted.

Pilgit Thu 23-May-13 22:35:14

It will be fine. You have a good feeling about the place and that is really important - it makes it so much easier to leave them knowing that they are being well taken care of and having a good time. I have also had to leave DD1 full time (and will have to with DD2 to) and DD1 has loved it AND has been really good for her. She has benefited so much from it - they get to spend the whole day with people who want to be there, who don't have to worry about housework and the stresses of family life and are paid to be devoted to them. Ultimately you do what is right for your family. Yes, there will be flashpoints (at the points of separation anxiety especially), and you will probably feel guilty at some points and then also frustrated that they don't miss you more at others! Congrats on your job...

thing1andthing2 Fri 24-May-13 08:40:05

Good luck! Ds (11months) has his first settling session at nursery today so I am a bit anxious. So i know how you feel! I want him to be happy and I can't wait to go back to work!
We changed my dd to a nursery from a childminder at 2.2 y and we've never looked back, it's fabulous.

moonbells Fri 24-May-13 08:51:26

You will be gutted for the first week or two, and you'll jump every time your mobile rings (suggest programming nursery with a different ringtone so you know you need to pick that one up!). I still jump and DS is now in YR grin

Settling sessions are good, though when I went back, they threw me a bit as boss (who was new - arrived while I was on ML!) was expecting me to just turn up and go FT and the nursery had two settling hours one week, then half days the next...

I shouldn't have worried. Duck and water come to mind with DS and the place. He's about 10,000 times more social than me and loved it! Used to cry when we left as he still wanted to play. Still begs me to go back after school sometimes so he can see the staff and brag tell them how he's doing.

Yes is is bloody expensive. As much as private school. But you and your DP need to badger your HR to get you childcare vouchers as soon as possible if you don't already get them. That will help!

WidowWadman Fri 24-May-13 08:57:04

My children have both been in full time nursery since they were 9 months old. They love going there, and feel happy, secure and loved. If you've got the right nursery, you've nothing to worry about.

cherhorowitz Fri 24-May-13 10:40:27

The nursery looks and sounds lovely. The staff have really helped with the figures, the facts and also the emotions I was feeling walking through with them. They obviously deal with this a lot and are very experienced.

I'll drop both DC's to the nursery at 8-8:15am, the nursery will take DD1 to school and keep DD2 all day then pick DD2 up from school and take her back for after school club and a meal before I pick them up around 5:30 (I finish work at 5). Some days DP may have flexible hours and can pick them up earlier but he works in a recording studio so if someone is scheduled in at 5 or 6 there's no chance of him not working late.

Right now I think the benefits of a nursery outweigh those of a childminder just because of the things they can do and people they can meet. I'd look into a CM when the DC's were a bit older and didn't require so much stimulation after school.

I'm still apprehensive but they did say I could call or text any time and someone would get back to me who was in the room asap with a child status update which makes me feel a bit better. I think it's just going to be a huge adjustment period but after a few months of income and nursery things will settle down for us all when we realise how much of a better position we're in.

We've been on benefits for longer than I'd hoped thanks to no job for me or DP and when DP got his job we were thrilled but then I got the job I'd been wanting for years and the conversation between myself and DP was very much "No matter what this is important. Go for it and we will all adjust" as it's very unlikely a job like this in the same field will come up in our crap city any time in the future. This is the first I've seen of it's kind because someone was retiring and they have been having a reshuffle in the office. This is a career job for me even if it is minimum wage entry level right now.

Thank you for all your responses, especially those who have children in nursery or have had them there.

scottishmummy Fri 24-May-13 21:13:40

congratulations on your job.hope goes well

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