To still be struggling with the bra situation - warning - saga!

(82 Posts)
pouffepants Wed 22-May-13 19:13:14

IABVVU since there have been at least 8 billion bra threads, but I'm clearly far too thick to get it right.

I watched with interest when the bra interventions began. I often heard it quoted that most women wear the wrong bra size, and I assumed I was one of them. This is due to a bra fitter making me cry as a pregnant teenager in mothercare, telling me I would have saggy tits forever since I was wearing a 'c' cup, and she said I only needed a 'b' cup even when feeding. So I've spent years ashamedly grabbing sizes c/d over the years convinced that a) people would laugh their socks off if they saw, and b) I'd just have to put up with saggy tits since I couldn't bear to wear anything smaller.

So when it started on here, I thought 'what the hell' and got the tape measure out. 32' under and 39' over. Wtf?? That's 32f! So someone said to lean over to do it. That's something I always avoid since my boobs seem to go long and sausagey when I do that, the reason I was convinced they were saggy, just seem completely empty. Well that was even sillier! Measurement 41' = 32g.

So I ignored that one and went to m&s and bought some 32fs which to my astonishment seemed to fit. All good. But within a couple of weeks I realised that I had 4-boob again. Weird! So I decided to measure myself again. But when I leaned over, I found the weirdest thing, my boobs no longer went sausagey, they were quite full. And measured 43'. Surely boobs don't just grow to the space available? Bit scary really! And another realisation, my boobs aren't saggy at all, they're pretty upright really when I stand up, it was only ever when I leant over, that I thought they were saggy. There's not much of a crease underneath at all.

So i went back to m&s (only place local) but couldn't find anything I was happy with the fit of. So I followed the advice on here and went to bravissimo. Had to make a day of it, since it's miles away.

The fitter agreed that my bra was a bit small, and put me in 32ff. I did query the amount of armpit fat, but she said that was normal, and then i felt so self conscious that I went along with it. I hate shopping at the best of times and since I was so far from home I felt pressured to buy (by myself not them), so I bought 3 bras including a sports one.

£90 down, I now realise that my bras don't pass the points put on here. The back doesn't ride up, but I can pull it quite far from my body even on the tightest hook, which I'm wearing it on. There's definitely overspillage of boob at the top, and I think under the arms, though that may be just my fatness.

I feel like I should have tried lots of different sizes, but the fitter kept telling me they fit great, and I didn't argue. She kept saying about scooping, but then showed me just a little gentle nudge to get them in place, I felt far too silly to do a major tit yank, like I've been instructed here.

So of course I've cut the labels off, they're never going to accept them back now are they, even though I've only had them 3 days. And the whole point of going was so I would once and for all know my size, so I could buy on the internet in future, and not have to trek about all over the place for bras, and I don't even know that! And I can't afford any for ages now!

nohalfmeasures Wed 22-May-13 20:46:52

Since regular scooping these last few months I have gone up one full cup size. Now that nork tissue is in the right place I have lost that puffy roll just next to my armpits which used to remain there even when I took my bra off.
I think years of wearing the wrong size distorts everything & it has to be trained back into place
OP keep persevering. It's worth it in the end
My bras are all Debenhams.

pouffepants Wed 22-May-13 21:10:33

I have been a terrible shape for about 15 years, i think maybe due to wearing bad bras. I have not worn a fitted top during that whole time due to lumpy extra bits around the bra area. I literally have always worn loose t-shirts, and even deliberately not gone for certain jobs that I would have to wear smart clothes for, because I just thought I was a fat blob.

It's the whole 4 boobs thing that has affected me most (maybe 6) which is why I'm annoyed that it still remains a little, although it's a lot better. You'd think I would have figured it before now, but to try and get a larger bra before i've just always gone up a back size, but of course when I was wearing 38s I just got back ache. I never got anything over a 'd' because I thought that was porn star boobs.

Unfortunately the press have a lot to answer for. There was a recent article describing Nicole Sherzinger as a 36C. I reckon she could put a 36 on, wrap it round her and fasten it at the front....

The lump bits do get better(although you do need a bigger cup too) as the wrong bra can cause the tissue to migrate and almost seem to separate from the rest of the breast especially under the arm. Scooping makes this better but you may find to begin with you have to do this more than once a day to retrain it.

pouffepants Wed 22-May-13 21:28:17

Yes, that's what happened when I went into the 32f, but seem to have outgrown that by quite some now!

FrenchRuby Wed 22-May-13 21:38:04

I'm having terrible issues with my bras ATM, where my boobs are pretty much just a D cup of skin (seriously there is nothing in them, it's all just skin) I can't find a bra that fits, if I move too vigorously or bend over they fall out and I get that awful 4 boob look. Any advice? Pathetic as it sounds it really gets me down sad

What are your measurements and what bras are you wearing just now FrenchRuby?

FrenchRuby Wed 22-May-13 21:48:50

I measure 31" 35" I've tried so many sizes and nothing fits right. I've tried different brands and shops. I have the same problem, after a few hours of wearing I get the awful 4 boob sad

The 4 boob is in most cases down to a lack of cup space but it can also be that the shape of the bra doesn't suit your breast shape.

Do you know if your breasts are fuller on top or on the bottom? If you aren't sure try looking at them side on in a mirror when bending over, it makes it easier to determine.

From your description your boobs are also very soft so here are a few bra suggestions specifically for that aspect(with thanks to Married!)

Freya Deco

Panache- Tango, Andorra, Porcelain balconette (or plunge if your boobs are not completely deflated), Melody (either style).

Cleo (part of Panache) Juna, Lucy.

Any padded Curvy Kate style if you don't mind jiggle at the top.

If your boobs are really soft, plunge styles tend to tilt them towards the centre, leaving gaps and wrinkling at the top of the cup. All the styles I've listed hold/push from underneath and have enough depth in the centre to avoid slipping out.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 22-May-13 21:59:49

What are you wearing currently, as Statistically says? Your measurements suggest starting with a 30DD, so trying 30DD and possibly E, and 32D and DD, though I suspect they will be too big in the band. They should be firm on the loosest hook to start with.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 22-May-13 22:00:14

Sorry that was to FrenchRuby

FrenchRuby Wed 22-May-13 22:08:14

I wear a 34DD, 32 is way too tight, 36 too big, D cup is too small. And they're not fuller on any part, they are literally thin long flaps of skin (sorry for the gross visual) there is nothing in them, completely empty.

idlevice Wed 22-May-13 22:17:37

I hope you get your money back from Bravissimo. I've always found them good in the past, esp for narrow back/large cup sizes. If you have a size/shape that is at all awkward then forget about knowing your size once & for all so you can order online, as there can be variation between brands & even between different styles in the same brand, & apparently even between different colours in the same style (due to dye's shrinking effect on fabric apparently, as I was once told by a fitter, but sounds a bit suss..). Different bra styles like full cup work on different boob-types - my norks go all pointy in full cup but ok in balconette, for example, something to do with variations in breast tissue, density, fat, summat like that anyway.

Are you in a region covered by a mobile fitter at all? Look on bras4mums.co.uk (they don't just do maternity).

A 32 definitely shouldn't be to tight - part of the issue will be the 34 back as it won't stay in place properly. Because of this the cups will be able to move more than they should - in your case this is leading to quad-boobing. The main reason for the "correct" back size feeling too tight is combining it with too small a cup (which basically steals the fabric from the back) or not scooping enough (all the soft tissue around the armpits or which escapes over the back/around the straps is breast tissue and needs to be forcably manhandled in to the cups)

FrenchRuby Wed 22-May-13 22:21:55

But if I have a 32 I get back fat (blerugh)and its really uncomfortable.

Have a look here re back fat. I am a fellow sufferer sad

FrenchRuby Wed 22-May-13 22:26:17

Thanks!! smile ill have a look

mumofweeboys Wed 22-May-13 23:20:22

Iv had good fittings at ncl bravissimo, theu always make u.lean forward and jiggle to settle bumps in place lol. Depending on the style and make of bra Iv had to go up or down two cup sizes or back sizes.

Now I usually go to debenhams and just try on loads of bras until I get a fit im happy with

pouffepants Thu 23-May-13 06:58:59

Definitely didn't ask me to lean forwards. She just used one finger to gently push me in, under the arms. I felt far too embarrassed to lean over and jiggle, or grab them like I do at home.

sparkle12mar08 Thu 23-May-13 07:33:07

French Ruby, if the DD cup on your feels okay try a 32E or even F, and a 30F/FF then. Statistcally's right, there's no reason why on your underbust measurement that a 30 or 32 shouldn't fit, but it will only do so properly if we can get the cup size right for you smile

IthinkIneedmorewine Thu 23-May-13 08:21:00

I need some help from you bra geniuses too please. I'm 5'6" and a size 10, have always worn 34B-C, D when bf. always get masses of back fat and 4boobs. Since finishing bf last year I feel really saggy and empty. I've followed the measuring guide and came out as 29" under, 37" at 90 degrees. I get that to be 30f. Surely that can't be right?! My bras have never seemed terribly badly fitting, and sometimes have looked quite good (in a dim light!). F seems enormous!

try a 28ff, 28g, 30ff and 30f. I know it seems huge but on a narrow back its really not. a 34c is also designed for someone measuring roughly 37 overbust -its the underbust that's different really

sparkle12mar08 Thu 23-May-13 09:38:18

But cup size is a relative measurement, it's a ratio in effect, of breast tissue to back size. So an F cup on a 30 back is far smaller than an F on a 36 back, say. In fact it's equivalent to a 36D, a size most women would say was average, no? Ime, no one of a size 12 or below is ever above a 32 back.

The media have a lot to answer for imo in perpetuating the unspoken myth of larger cup size = loose morals, poor behaviour, not 'pure' etc. We have to smash this ignorance surrounding the new measuring system and social attitudes to bra sizes.

the media have a lot to answer for with bra sizing-it's a constant drip of utter bollocks

Buzzardbird Thu 23-May-13 09:46:34

Could anyone please link to the correct way of measuring? I am not sure how to work out cup size.

ob phone but if you follow the link re back fat a few posts up its on that site. or post your measurements here and we'll tell you

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