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Skint - part 2

(132 Posts)

AIBU to have switched it off as it gave me such rage to hear that a 21 yr old who has never worked a day in her life had 5 kids, free rent and £1600 on top of her free rent! Knew I shouldn't have started watching it....

Most people who receive benefits are in work. The number of families solely reliant on benefits is small. The number of large families solely reliant on benefits is a small fraction of an already small number.

HollyBerryBush Tue 21-May-13 20:58:57

And where are the jobs for her, or him, in Scunthorpe?

thousands of people are economic migrants, they come from Eastern Europe, Africa, Asia ... but they can't ever get off their arses oop north to find work a couple of hundred miles south.

judgemental? you bet.

Dawndonna Tue 21-May-13 21:00:48

ODFO Holly The jobs are not available and the options to move are not always available, either.

JakeBullet Tue 21-May-13 21:06:50

Have you read any of my posts *Hollyberry"? Chucking money at people is no good without the back up support. Trouble is that the Govt is skint so as a society we need to help folk make changes for their future. What are YOU doing to help?

This is not me "having a go", just pointing out that it is no good being judgemental if you don't want to be part of a solution. Mentoring a young person, helping a family with budgeting, supporting with positive parenting techniques, helping a parent with poor literacy access appropriate classes and perhaps helping them overcome the initial fear of walking into a class by going with them the first time.

Five children at 21 is not a choice, it's a bloody disaster...as I said before, no little girl of 7 makes plans to have that many children. They have ambition at 7, why does it change, when does it change, how can we help teenagers maintain that ambition they had at 7. Largely it's by helping the adults in their lives make a success of their OWN lives so these children have something to ape.

DrCoconut Tue 21-May-13 21:07:04

Work is very short here, especially for people with no qualifications, experience etc. there are 100's of applicants for each vacancy.

Skinnywhippet Tue 21-May-13 21:07:09

@chaz. But they are breeding big and spreading this culture.

JakeBullet Tue 21-May-13 21:08:56

...so we need to get in there and support these parents t effectively support their children. Most women who were teenage parents do not want the same for their own children.

JakeBullet Tue 21-May-13 21:09:53

...and wile we are at it we need to be tackling the boys who may become the absent fathers.

Skinnywhippet Tue 21-May-13 21:27:04

Just watching episode 1. I am scared by the couple who see no wrong in shoplifting as a job. Just shocking. This society have no morales.

IneedAyoniNickname Tue 21-May-13 21:31:03

I'm watching this now and its sad, so so sad.

Even the 21 year old with 4 children, its sad that she's never aspired to be more. It's sad that she sees the way they live as a good way to live. It's sad that no one has ever made her feel she is worth more,or so it seems to me.

Mind you, he's a bit of a peat tbh. He just said people shouldn't say " ah, theyve got loads of kids on the social, coz I'm not like that. It's not like I'm an immigrant" confused

Agreed that jamelia's story is tragic. With the right support she could have had her baby with her, and could have been a fantastic mum, who knows sad

HollyBerryBush Tue 21-May-13 21:33:44

Education (til 19) is free, as is contraception for life.

People make life choices whether to use one, both or neither.

hamdangle Tue 21-May-13 21:39:58

No 'these people' are not going to 'dominate the country'. What a ridiculous statement. More money goes on pensions than job seekers, tax credits, child tax credits and housing benefit put together. Most people claiming benefits are actually working. I bet lots of people on here have had children knowing that they will need tax credits and child benefit to get by so is that ok? So why is it right to expect the government to pay for some children and not others.

There were two girls in my class in school who left school not being able to read or write. One is now dead from a drug overdose and the other had four children by the time she was 19. I was lucky enough to have decent GCSES, a supportive family and bags of confidence when I got pregnant at 17 and have worked hard to get where I am now. But not one single one of my friends who had children in their teens has a good job, if at all and they all are still, in their 30s, living week to week trying to make ends meet.

You have no idea how difficult it is to 'just get a job' when you have no qualifications, no confidence and no idea what to do to make your life better.

Bearbehind Tue 21-May-13 21:43:48

I really struggle to understand the acceptance by so many, of people like this girl who has chosen to have had 5 children by the age of 21.

That is not someone who is a victim of circumstance, it is someone who has made a lifestyle choice and is being very nicely funded for having done so.

Wannabestepfordwife Tue 21-May-13 21:56:45

Am just watching and my heart is literally breaking for jamelia you can tell the girl has a good heart and needs support.

What council would think it was a good idea to leave a vulnerable 16 year old child in a crack den- madness.

Dawndonna Tue 21-May-13 22:01:50

@chaz. But they are breeding big and spreading this culture.

*Education (til 19) is free, as is contraception for life.
People make life choices whether to use one, both or neither.*

Just because it is free, it may not be necessarily available to all.

I don't accept having 5 children by 21 as a good thing. But it is no a casual lifestyle choice in my view. I suspect it is a symptom of the wider issues this young woman has in her life. Possibly she is seeking to create a family life she didn't have or perhaps being a mother is her only purpose and status in life. As a pp said its not most little girls' ambition to have 5 children at that age.

Skinny

You seem to be assuming that their children will have no contribution to make, they could be amazing people, especially with some support.

Skinnywhippet Tue 21-May-13 22:13:53

The could. They probably won't. They just won't have the education required, they won't have the financial backing, they don't have the social knowledge. They have been born into a black hole. They could be very intelligent people, but I don't see how they will be able to fulfil their potential given their background.

That's why the family needs support so the children do have a chance.

Molehillmountain Tue 21-May-13 22:30:51

I found the programme hugely depressing and feel really angry that these young people are judged for making the choices they've made. That is absolutely not the same as me saying I think they are good choices. But you know what, if I hadn't had a background of parents who worked a d valued academic success, I am convinced I would have ended up similar. It doesn't matter that education and contraception are free. There is a poverty of ambition that makes them feel those things aren't for them. And I had a kind of arrogance, or confidence if I'm being kinder, that I had that when a teacher asked me if I wanted to go to university I remember thinking "what do you mean if? Of course I'm going to university" . It was a kind of entitlement if you like, that that kind of education was mine for the taking. Those young people don't have that. And I, at many times of my life have been quite chaotic and not hard working at all. I deserved my success at those times no more than the "skint" youngsters.

HappyMummyOfOne Tue 21-May-13 22:45:05

Stop the benefits and the amount of people having children will drop dramatically. Contraception is free to all, more would use it if they knew that if they didnt the consequences were down to them to face alone.

Children born into a life on benefits often go on to claim themselves, they see it as the norm. Teachers can only instal so much into children, if the parens dont set a working example then what do the children have to aspire too.

£1600 in benefits plus rent and CT paid is far more than some couples earn between them, not because wages are so low but because benefits are set far higher than bare minimum needs.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Tue 21-May-13 23:11:40

And in the interim between the stopping of the benefits and the end of all accidental or multiple pregnancies, what will happen to the children who are already born, I wonder?

SugarMouse1 Tue 21-May-13 23:50:24

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

SugarMouse1 Tue 21-May-13 23:52:52

Hamdangle-

Jamelia had plenty of confidence- always shouting her mouth off

JakeBullet Wed 22-May-13 06:44:00

sugarmouse, the fact she was "shouting her mouth off" in fact shows she HASN'T got confidence. All it shows is that she knows no other way, that is NOT confidence.

In life we are either part of the problem or part of the solution. What are YOU doing to show families and girls like this that there is another way?

I volunteer with families like this in order to help them make small and positive changes. I go into meetings with people who "shout their mouth off" but suggest I go as a note taker and get them to think about what they want to say...this gives them the confidence NOT to "shout their mouth off" and means they are then taken much more seriously when they want to make a point.

I repeat, you are either part of the problem or part of the solution. Judging is just lazy arsed thinking that benefits nobody, action to hep people change is positive.

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