to think I may have been conned?

(90 Posts)
ariane5 Mon 20-May-13 21:30:02

We are a bit short of money so when I saw an. Ad on the local noticeboard of another parenting site about delivering some leaflets in the area I live I jumped at the chance.

I text the lady who seemed very pleasant and said it would be £40 for 1000 leaflets (I thought great £40=1 months dinner money for dd1). I have a double buggy and thought I could put 2 little ones in it and go for a walk and get them delivered.

The lady said she would drop half off, that I could contact when done and she would pay half then when I'd done the rest she would pay the other half.she seemed really nice, friendly and chatty. Dropped leaflets off and I delivered them some that day the rest the day after (and it was HARD work, did it over 2 days as dd2 wasn't well first aft). I let her know what roads as she had said she would be checking and said she would give me money and other half to deliver on sat.

She then said she wasn't well on sat and would be in touch in couple of days but I've heard nothing. I don't want to think I've been tricked as she was so nice, perhaps she is genuinely unwell and I'm just paranoid.

We really need the money and I will feel so stupid if I've been tricked.

Should I phone her? Or will I just look pushy and desperate, I was hoping they might let me deliver again as I'm so short of money and it would have helped us out but I'm really starting to think I will never hear from her again.if I have been tricked I'm obviously a bad judge of character as she seemed really genuine and nice.

AIBU to think I've been conned sad

RenterNomad Thu 23-May-13 14:12:50

That's good news, ariane smile

Pigsmummy Thu 23-May-13 12:32:58

I am glad that this has worked out ok, as an aside I delivered the phone book a few years ago, it was good money.

ariane5 Thu 23-May-13 12:26:00

They have not had any more money at all from dh for a while now because I have complete control over finances/bill/wages etc to prevent lending.

Mil still reluctant to repay what she owes but at least I know she can't take any more. I think dh has learnt what she is like.finally

RenterNomad Thu 23-May-13 12:22:15

Everyone has a tax free allowance: within that amount, you will pay no tax on earnings (and that includes bank/building society interest --hahaha, as if). The HMRC advice reads: *For 2012-13, legislation in Finance Bill 2012 will increase the personal allowance for
those aged under 65 to £8,105 and reduce the basic rate limit to £34,370.* However, I don't know how tax credits and other benefits affect that tax-free allowance.

Have the ILs stopped siphoning money off you (apart from the credit card debt)?

ariane5 Thu 23-May-13 10:56:12

Dd2 has just been awarded dla for diabetes and other conditions.

Our finances are slowly improving-we are not at 'foodbank stage' and are doing.
What does worry me is although this is the first time I have ever earnt any extra money since I worked before I had dcs, have I actually done something wrong?

It was just an opportunity that presented itself and I thought it would help us out but am I actually meant to declare it despite it being a one off? I do not want to now get in trouble like lougle mentioned as we do get ctc??

Not sure if my attempt to help us was actually wrong now?

ariane5 Wed 22-May-13 20:11:27

the state schools were too big, dd has mobility and fatigue issues and a smaller school is better for her she was unwell on tours ofthe larger schools. at the school we chose she will be able to go to and from lessons and not be in pain or ill as site is so tiny.

BOF Wed 22-May-13 20:07:58

I will leave this thread now if my contribution is coming across as fighty. I am actually a passionate advocate of people getting proper practical financial advice, especially if they are suffering with children and going without food. It upsets me to hear of people being exploited in badly-paid jobs, and I think mumsnet is a fantastic resource to point to sources of help for OPs in difficulty, and I want to encourage Ariane to look at her options here. Debt counselling at the very least should be a priority.

I don't really understand what you mean about special needs, Ariane- are you saying that the state schools are contravening the Disabilities Act by not providing physically-accessible education?

I didn't know that it was possible to self-refer to a foodbank- it's a shame really that you didn't go through the more usual routes, because they might have been able to refer you to a reputable source of financial advice too.

Good luck, I hope things get easier for you.

blobandsnail Wed 22-May-13 20:07:52

Not sure how helpful this is. But you mentioned one of your children has diabetes. Make sure you're claiming disability living allowance for that child. A lot of parents don't realise they're entitled to it and it came make a difference. Speak to your specialist diabetes team about it and anything else you may be entitled to.

ariane5 Wed 22-May-13 20:06:09

the school are lovely, we were thoroughly means tested so they are fully aware of our situation andwe are able to pay the small amount of fees not covered by bursary monthly to make it easier.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 22-May-13 20:03:36

I am sure the school will be supportive Ariane. My DD went to a small private school on a bursary for reception through to the end of year 2 and the school were great. They have 2nd hand uniform sales a lot too.

ariane5 Wed 22-May-13 19:57:23

no dd doesnt have a statement as has no learning difficulties. we reaearched all schools thoroughly (state and private) and chose the one that was best for her.

no debt repayment plan we just pay loan/cards back every month.

We have only used a foodbank once it was a self referral andspoke to hv about it, we are not under claiming benefits as get dla for dcs but the period when dh was not in work untill dd2 dla was awarded caused us financial problems and i had to beg the bank to lower loan payment to 200 a mth (is usually 498)

we are getting back on our feet and the leaflet thing was just to get a bit extra to help with bill for lunches, it was just by chance they wanted them delivered nearby and so seemed ideal.

seesensepeople Wed 22-May-13 19:55:58

Please, this thread was about the OP worrying about whether she had been conned into delivering leaflets.

She wasn't, all ended happily, she was paid for what she delivered.

If the OP wants to invite a bun fight on her financial and educational choices I am sure she will start another thread for just such a purpose.

Good Luck OP.

BOF Wed 22-May-13 19:46:40

If your dd has a statement of special needs, the LEA is obliged to fund an appropriate school place which meets all the identified needs, even if they end up paying fees for a residential place. You would also get free or subsidised transport for her. No need at all for the stress of her being excluded from trips or not being able to invite people home because you have no food in the cupboards.

Are you under-claiming benefits? What debt repayment measures have you managed to negotiate? In some circumstances they can be written off.

Who referred you to the food bank? What other advice or support have they offered to get you out of this situation?

ariane5 Wed 22-May-13 19:32:03

and yes, wedid have a few REALLY bad weeks earlier in the year hence my foodbank posts as dh had no wages for few weeks when dd2 was in hospital. I am not sure what that has to do with dd1 going to a school that will help her special needs.

some trips she wont be able to do anyway for health reasons.

ariane5 Wed 22-May-13 19:21:14

Sorry, to clarify do getctc but NO hb, ctb, fsmetc.

the school was chosen because of dd1 health problems, trips and books included and lunchessame price as current school.

I have not worked since before dcs and leaflet drop was just to get us through bad week and pay for lunches for dd1.

yes we have terrible debts too, mostly from mil

Astley Wed 22-May-13 19:11:16

Ok fine, what's the point?

I will never prioritise education over eating.

I wouldn't put learning another language over having clean drinking water.

Sometimes you need to figure out the basics before you start going for the luxury. They didnt have any FOOD, that is not making a 'sacrifice' that is not providing for the very, very basic needs for your children.

RenterNomad Wed 22-May-13 18:48:11

We don't know what the local state schools are like for ariane's DD, so maybe this school chance is indeed do much better that the sacrifices are unquestionably worth it.

State schools are very variable, so I agree it's not fair to say they're all some sort of "hell". However, ariane and her family have accepted it based on what they know of the choices and their situation.

As for being left out at the private school, that may also be one of the sacrifices: again, a decision the family has made, knowing things we don't.

I've done a lot of leafleting in the past. I reckon that 100 leaflets an hour is good going for an an average estate.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 18:33:52

Oh so it's better to have your child be the one child who doesn't go on any trips and can't invite anyone back to their house because there might not actually be any food...than risk the horror of the state system?

And no, not all schools sell second hand inform, mine certainly didn't.

And isn't the private school able to cope with the dcs disability? Whereas the state is a no go physically? The op is hardworking, not on benefits and doing the best for disabled dc- why the hell is she getting a bashing for making sacrifices to send her dc to the appropriate school? Some of you sound really bitter and unpleasant.

maddening Wed 22-May-13 18:25:10

But they do second hand sales for uniforms - the uniform needn't cost a fortune and trips aren't compulsory.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 18:22:17

How is it shortsighted?! They have been in the position of having NO food and NO money. Children actually need to eat more than they need the educational advantage of private school.

It's not a case of making cut backs for the sake of a better education, that would be a totally different issue. It's the idea that you have nothing to eat but will still send your child to a school that will cost a hell of a lot more in extras than the food from the food bank was worth.

whois Wed 22-May-13 18:10:42

So what if the uniform's more expensive? How short-sighted is that?!

If you can't afford to eat, then potentially having paid out hundred of quid on school required stuff isn't helping.

whois Wed 22-May-13 18:09:27

Quite surprised someone who is in receipt of food bank help has DC at private school! Private schools are expensive (and not a necessity in the UK) I know my uniform, sports kit, mandatory school dinners etc cost a hell of a lot more when I was at a private school than at state school (hockey shirts, skirt and socks, hockey astro-shoes, hockey stick, netball dress and socks, football boots and shirt and shorts, school track suit, school hoody vs white tshirt and blue shorts)

Anyway ariane5 you could benefit from some professional advice. Your families cash and health situation is dire and something will have to give.

RenterNomad Wed 22-May-13 18:07:25

So what if the uniform's more expensive? How short-sighted is that?!

I'm sorry to bring in material not mentioned on this thread, but I seem to remember that there is an IL problem with cash flow, not the OP's doing... Give her a break!

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