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to think I may have been conned?

(90 Posts)
ariane5 Mon 20-May-13 21:30:02

We are a bit short of money so when I saw an. Ad on the local noticeboard of another parenting site about delivering some leaflets in the area I live I jumped at the chance.

I text the lady who seemed very pleasant and said it would be £40 for 1000 leaflets (I thought great £40=1 months dinner money for dd1). I have a double buggy and thought I could put 2 little ones in it and go for a walk and get them delivered.

The lady said she would drop half off, that I could contact when done and she would pay half then when I'd done the rest she would pay the other half.she seemed really nice, friendly and chatty. Dropped leaflets off and I delivered them some that day the rest the day after (and it was HARD work, did it over 2 days as dd2 wasn't well first aft). I let her know what roads as she had said she would be checking and said she would give me money and other half to deliver on sat.

She then said she wasn't well on sat and would be in touch in couple of days but I've heard nothing. I don't want to think I've been tricked as she was so nice, perhaps she is genuinely unwell and I'm just paranoid.

We really need the money and I will feel so stupid if I've been tricked.

Should I phone her? Or will I just look pushy and desperate, I was hoping they might let me deliver again as I'm so short of money and it would have helped us out but I'm really starting to think I will never hear from her again.if I have been tricked I'm obviously a bad judge of character as she seemed really genuine and nice.

AIBU to think I've been conned sad

ShadeofViolet Wed 22-May-13 07:44:37

I dont think Lougle was accusing the OP, just a reminder.

You would be surprised the amount of people on MSE or CAG forums who have forgotten to declare small amounts of income and get in trouble.

Khaleese Wed 22-May-13 07:45:20

Can you not send her with packed lunches?

Wishing you well OP, it's lovely to see someone work so hard for their LO.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 22-May-13 08:33:40

Khalese some private schools don't allow that.

deste Wed 22-May-13 10:18:32

Do you not have free papers in your area, they are always looking for people to deliver them.

BOF Wed 22-May-13 12:38:34

Ariane, so many of your posts are about money or the lack thereof- I wonder if you would benefit from some professional advice from the CAB or similar? It sounds like everybody in the house is in some way disabled, but how much DLA are you able to claim? You could be helped to appeal etc.

Two days work for forty quid isn't a great use of your time, and people here and on MSE will have ideas for other ways to make money.

I would say that if you are barely above the free school meals threshold, there is no way you could afford top up school fees plus all the extras that come from being at private school.

It just seems that there are things that could make your life harder and things that could make it easier, but you are choosing the harder ones iyswim? I'm sure there are things that could improve the situation, with the right advice.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 12:48:55

So one week you are going to food banks, then your child is going to private school, and now your back to being desperate for money hmm

I'm sorry, but this is all a bit ridiculous.

RenterNomad Wed 22-May-13 13:23:22

There have always been poorer children at private school, through scholarships and other means, Astley. I had a good friend who was at mine on a scholarship. Why shouldn't lower-income children benefit from smaller class sizes, lots of books in the library, space and sports fields which haven't been sold off?

BOF Wed 22-May-13 13:27:59

Ra ra ra hmm

I think all children should have access to that. Nobody is saying otherwise. I find it a strange decision if the rest of the family are then plunged into begging from food banks and pounding the cold streets with ill children in pushchairs for substantially less than the minimum wage. It all sounds like something out of Dickens, and I very much doubt it is necessary.

TheSecondComing Wed 22-May-13 13:31:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondComing Wed 22-May-13 13:31:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HibiscusIsland Wed 22-May-13 13:39:42

OP says she has a bursary for virtually all the fees already.

HibiscusIsland Wed 22-May-13 13:41:49

Is the sports fields being sold off a London thing? None of the state schools round here have sold off their playing fields and they seem to have plenty of books too. 30 in a class though admittedly.

BOF Wed 22-May-13 14:08:35

Virtually all isn't all though, is it? And there are other associated expenses. If your margins are so tight that you are eating off charity, then I would suggest that no, you can't afford it. Or, as I have said, like many other posters, go and get some more long-term financial advice for a sustainable living standard.

lougle Wed 22-May-13 14:27:01

In my defence, I was genuinely concerned. I am a benefit recipient myself (HB) and know how strict the rules are on undeclared earnings.

I was also thinking about the DLA element - if the OP has 4 children who are disabled and claims DLA for 2 of them, that's going to boost tax credits.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 15:39:56

RenterNormad, that is clearly not whatim saying at all..... The point is private school, even with a full scholarship costs more than a state school. The uniform is more expensive, the trips are more expensive etc, so if you are in the position where you need to use a food bank, I personally, would not feel that your finances were in the right position to merit all the extra outlay of a private education.

RenterNomad Wed 22-May-13 18:07:25

So what if the uniform's more expensive? How short-sighted is that?!

I'm sorry to bring in material not mentioned on this thread, but I seem to remember that there is an IL problem with cash flow, not the OP's doing... Give her a break!

whois Wed 22-May-13 18:09:27

Quite surprised someone who is in receipt of food bank help has DC at private school! Private schools are expensive (and not a necessity in the UK) I know my uniform, sports kit, mandatory school dinners etc cost a hell of a lot more when I was at a private school than at state school (hockey shirts, skirt and socks, hockey astro-shoes, hockey stick, netball dress and socks, football boots and shirt and shorts, school track suit, school hoody vs white tshirt and blue shorts)

Anyway ariane5 you could benefit from some professional advice. Your families cash and health situation is dire and something will have to give.

whois Wed 22-May-13 18:10:42

So what if the uniform's more expensive? How short-sighted is that?!

If you can't afford to eat, then potentially having paid out hundred of quid on school required stuff isn't helping.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 18:22:17

How is it shortsighted?! They have been in the position of having NO food and NO money. Children actually need to eat more than they need the educational advantage of private school.

It's not a case of making cut backs for the sake of a better education, that would be a totally different issue. It's the idea that you have nothing to eat but will still send your child to a school that will cost a hell of a lot more in extras than the food from the food bank was worth.

maddening Wed 22-May-13 18:25:10

But they do second hand sales for uniforms - the uniform needn't cost a fortune and trips aren't compulsory.

And isn't the private school able to cope with the dcs disability? Whereas the state is a no go physically? The op is hardworking, not on benefits and doing the best for disabled dc- why the hell is she getting a bashing for making sacrifices to send her dc to the appropriate school? Some of you sound really bitter and unpleasant.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 18:33:52

Oh so it's better to have your child be the one child who doesn't go on any trips and can't invite anyone back to their house because there might not actually be any food...than risk the horror of the state system?

And no, not all schools sell second hand inform, mine certainly didn't.

I've done a lot of leafleting in the past. I reckon that 100 leaflets an hour is good going for an an average estate.

RenterNomad Wed 22-May-13 18:48:11

We don't know what the local state schools are like for ariane's DD, so maybe this school chance is indeed do much better that the sacrifices are unquestionably worth it.

State schools are very variable, so I agree it's not fair to say they're all some sort of "hell". However, ariane and her family have accepted it based on what they know of the choices and their situation.

As for being left out at the private school, that may also be one of the sacrifices: again, a decision the family has made, knowing things we don't.

Astley Wed 22-May-13 19:11:16

Ok fine, what's the point?

I will never prioritise education over eating.

I wouldn't put learning another language over having clean drinking water.

Sometimes you need to figure out the basics before you start going for the luxury. They didnt have any FOOD, that is not making a 'sacrifice' that is not providing for the very, very basic needs for your children.

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