fed up with bing forced to stay at expensive, poncy hotels at weddings and get my own back by getting married in a cave?

(73 Posts)
bettycocker Mon 20-May-13 01:01:03

Like the titles says really. And hen dos too. I resent paying premium prices, to stay in poncy hotels when you're a wedding guest, but most of all for the kinds of relatives you see twice a year tops. I'm happy to give a pressie, but not so much with the hotel bill. If you dont fork out for the hotel room, people think you are either too mean, or too poor.

So, I am planning to get married in a cave. DP is totally up for this and it must be possible.

My DM thinks it is a terrible idea. She says caves can dark, dank and they are unpleasant places. l like caving and it is beautiful underground. My DM has asked me what people should wear - wellies? I replied that if it works for them, they can wear what they like. She asked if I would wear a wedding dress with a pair of wellies. I replied that it was a distinct possibility. We haven't told ILs yet.

AIBU to get married in a cave and AIBU to derive an evil pleasure from being a bridezilla who will also mildly exact revenge upon all the people who have made me stay in poncy hotels when I didn't actually want to for all these years?

I also intend to get married in a remote location and hire a "down to earth" place for the reception and guest accomodation. they'll attend a wedding in a cave and hopefull stay in a Welsh pub/B&B in the middle of nowhere - deal with it mofos, it's my turn to be bridezilla. grin

By the way, as the bride, I shall also do my own speach and will keep my own surname. Bollocks to convention.

HerrenaHarridan Mon 20-May-13 08:24:05

I think it's a great idea!

Can I come?

Will you video yelling you ils and share with us wink

thing1andthing2 Mon 20-May-13 08:45:35

Just don't go off to the other end of the country for your wedding and expect all your guests to trek across to join you! That's the worst bit for me. Worse than the ponsiness of the hotel.
Two friends of ours who live in our town (south east coast) were planning their wedding on a beach in north Devon. Realistically a 6 hour drive! And it was supposed to be child free. DH and I had decided we wouldn't go when she suddenly rang up and asked me to be maid of honour! I was like "I'd be delighted, but what am I supposed to do with a 3 year old and an 11month old?" If she'd organised the wedding 10 minutes down the road there would have been a realistic chance of me coming.
The cave thing though, sounds really nice.

bettycocker Mon 20-May-13 08:52:09

I know IAB a bit U about poncy hotels. The people themselves aren't poncy though! I know I don't people don't have to stay at expensive hotels, but some of our family and friends would have been a bit hmm if people didn't. It's their day though.

I have waited for nearly 40 years to get married and thought it would never happen. My friends and family have got married over the years and I'm actually quite looking forward to it. This time I can be bridezilla, but I shall try not to be.

I never yell at IL's and I think they would all like the idea. Some of the family are a bit creaky, so I would obviously choose the most accessible cavern/cave and make the service as short as possible.

Can you get someone besides a priest to marry you? We aren't at all religious. Can you get someone who is all new agey to marry a couple?

bettycocker Mon 20-May-13 08:54:08

thing1andthing2 There is actually a cave place near us that is a bit of a tourist attraction and I think you can hire it out. That would be my first port of call. If not, somewhere near us in Wales.

If we could use the one near us, we could put close family up at our place even.

Pos1 Mon 20-May-13 08:59:26

You can get married in Chislehurst Caves in the South East if that's anywhere near you - they have a chapel type thing that they used during the war when it was a shelter for those living there to get married, and if I remember correctly, not many steps, just some slopes. You could then stay at the pub next door.....( no idea what that's like though)

StanleyLambchop Mon 20-May-13 08:59:43

It sounds great to me and I would be up for it!

If you google St Michaels Cave in Gibraltar (I am no good at linky things)you will find pictures of the Cathedral Cave, which is actually used for concerts as the setting is very like a cathedral, they put chairs in with an aisle down the middle, it looks amazing! So it is not such a crazy idea after all.

KentishLass Mon 20-May-13 09:01:33

Betty yes you can hire an Independent Celebrant (like myself grin ) to conduct your wedding ceremony! We can hold this anywhere you like, a cave sounds amazing! If you'd like more details I will PM you x

EllaFitzgerald Mon 20-May-13 09:01:41

pudcat Was that the programme with Caroline Quentin? The cave looked stunning and the cable cars made it look like everyone would be able to get down there with no problems.

OP; I think it's a wonderful idea, I'd love to go to a wedding like that.

CruCru Mon 20-May-13 09:02:36

Re new agey types, why don't you try the Humanists? I think the Druids would be a bit funny about marrying someone who doesn't follow their religion.

Circaea Mon 20-May-13 09:06:23

I got married in a cave, it was lovely. No wellies required. Go for it!

Damnautocorrect Mon 20-May-13 09:12:57

The one with Caroline quentin looked beautiful, loads of candles lighting it, just beautiful.
Yes do it, it will be amazing

Katnisscupcake Mon 20-May-13 09:19:40

Cave weddings are beautiful.

I know because our family has a Wedding Business (flowers, decorations, cars, jewellery etc etc) and has already done a couple of cave weddings.

It's amazing how beautiful they can look with a few lights, candles and flowers. Let your imagination go wild!!! smile

We had a church wedding and our reception in a Hotel, but that was before my Dparents started their wedding business. I wish I was doing it now so that I could have something really different!


theodorakisses Mon 20-May-13 09:48:50

Totally agree and never go to weddings for that reason and also being told where to sit and what to eat and be expected to entertain the dullest humans known to man. And, no, I am not interested how you know the bride and groom, the fact that you used to live next door to them is of no interest and I am, taking into account travel expenses, gift, hotel and will to live that has been expended, having this making me want to kill myself conversation at the rate of about 50p a minute.

theodorakisses Mon 20-May-13 09:49:41

I would however love a cave wedding. I am never, ever going to Thailand for a poncy wedding again though

Sleepysocks Mon 20-May-13 09:56:14

Ooh I went to some caves in the Forest of Dean, Clearwell Caves. Very atmospheric (filmed Dr Who and Merlin there). One massive cavern near an underground lake was very memorable!

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 20-May-13 11:40:34

We're hiring a field and letting people camp smile I love the idea of getting married in a cave!! Quite jealous I didn't think of it first, although with DP's actual hobby a cliff face would be more appropriate and I'm not sure I fancy that.

bettycocker Mon 20-May-13 11:40:43

DP and I discussed getting married abroad, but his DS already did that one. We also felt that it was unfair to expect people to fork out for the travel, especially people with DC. On the other hand, my folks live abroad and it would be nice to get married there. They are only in Europe though.

We really don't want anything formal. We want something simple, fun and quirky.

We now just have to decide upon a date. DP doesn't make any decisions quickly and has to research all possible avenues of enquiry. hmm I am a chronic procrastinator. It would probably be wise to set a date for some time in 2015. grin

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 20-May-13 11:44:02

I think you can just hire a registrar as long as your cave ie licensed for weddings.

tunnels and beach in ilfracombe

CwtchesAndCuddles Mon 20-May-13 14:11:58

My brother almost got married in a cave but in the end he and sil just went off abroad on their own and got married there.

Dan yr ogof is lovely!


BackforGood Mon 20-May-13 14:13:57

Ultimately up to you, as long as you are not going to moan about the people who then don't come.... people who are claustrophobic, people who are unsteady on their feet, people who just don't like standing around in cold, damp environments!
There's a whole lot of options you could choose that involve neither poncy hotels, nor caves.

Snoopytwist Mon 20-May-13 14:39:08

We made people camp in the middle of a wood and had a big BBQ - it was great and very memorable - do they cave thing, OP, people will love it - much more interesting than some bland hotel.

Khaleese Mon 20-May-13 14:48:28

Snoopy, we did similar but with a church!

Hate all the stupid costs of weddings. Don't get me started on the tens of thousands friends have spent on wedding yet can't afford to buy a home.

curryeater Mon 20-May-13 14:49:42

YANBU but I personally hate caves. I might not go if I were on your guest list, because I, too, am over claustrophobic wedding environments. No worse than an overheated, corporately decorated, window-challenged hotel, but as far as I am concerned, not much better - not that you care, and why should you.
Do you like camping? Maybe your guests should all stay in tents.

curryeater Mon 20-May-13 14:50:54

x-posted with snoopy on the camping thing.

I looked into getting married outdoors - admittedly years ago - but it didn't seem to be legal. Are there any caves licensed for weddings? (sorry for being a wet blanket)

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