What would you think if your DC received a party invite that had party childs siblings name on it?

(54 Posts)
CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 20:48:28

Just wondering on opinions on this one.

If your DC got an invite for a party and the invitation was for the child in the class that your DC knew, plus the name of the party childs (much younger) sibling, what would you think?

CrapBag Sun 19-May-13 16:46:47

Previous comment also to the other posters who told me I am over thinking and whatever. It isn't me speculating and I can see that many people do this without the expectation of 2 presents. However in this case, it is done with the hope that sibling will get a few more presents out of it. That is a fact.

CrapBag Sun 19-May-13 16:41:58

"I think YABU to think this was done to get extra presents"

I am not U to think this was done to get extra presents. I know it was done to get extra presents. The mother told me as much! And she wasn't joking.

buswanker Sun 19-May-13 01:06:58

I sat there and wrote out 20 invites. Some were family invites and just wrote 20 the same. That's why, probably lack of sleep due to a baby and also not thinking anyone would think I wanted two gifts.
I am not grabby at all! Feel guilty now!

LadyLech Sun 19-May-13 01:00:59

My daughters often share a birthday party. I never send out joint invites though, the eldest sends out her invites, and the youngest invites her friends. Why do people need to know in advance that it is a joint party?

I did have one mum who turned up for my youngest a couple of years ago and said she was sorry that she hadn't known it was a joint party, otherwise she would have bought two presents. I replied that that was the exact reason why I hadn't put it on the invites - I didn't want people to feel obliged to buy two presents.

Personally, I don't see any reason to send out joint invites, unless its angling for more cards / presents. After all, writing out invites is tedious enough, why write more than you actually have to?

buswanker Sun 19-May-13 00:44:08

I am really worried this is about me! I sent out party invites like this.
My children's birthdays are in the same week, didn't cross my mind anyone would think I was asking for two gifts. I definitely would not expect two gifts.
Feel so blush now.

Sokmonsta Sun 19-May-13 00:43:55

We're doing this tomorrow. But dd's school friends got invites from just her and ds' preschool friends got invited by just him. There is an overlap in that some of the invitees are siblings so dd sent an invite to A and ds to B but there is no expectation of presents and certainly not for both from everyone. The children want to have a party with their friends and that's all they are concerned about. While I can get away with saving money and doing a joint party I will.

It might be seen as fair warning that its a joint party to write both names on the invitation, but it's not harder to write x number out to one group and y to the other.

Disappearing Sun 19-May-13 00:41:03

I had a joint party for my 2 DC, and I was careful to only name the DC whose friend the invite was going to, to avoid people buying 2 presents. My school age DD had lots of friends at the party, my much younger DS has no friends is an independent soul, so when it came time to open the presents, DS had to be taken out for an hour or so, to avoid meltdown, he had about 3 presents vs. DD's 20 or so. He never noticed.

Next year I'll be doing separate parties, I think it will be better in many ways.

BriansBrain Sun 19-May-13 00:21:48

Thank you 5, it is only the power of MN that has stopped me pretending we aren't free for a party. DD loved it and we have another one before pay day next week and then half term <ffs sigh>

janji Sun 19-May-13 00:17:06

Worse is when dcs friends team up and have joint parties. Pair of twins and another dc had a joint party last week. Cost me a fortune in cards, pressies & wrapping!!

5madthings Sun 19-May-13 00:15:24

brains i am.sure bday boy was thrilled
and if i was his mum i would be too i love maltesers!

BriansBrain Sun 19-May-13 00:12:01

I would buy for the child we know.

We are struggling again this month but thanks to MN I sent DD to a party today with a handmade card and a wrapped box of maltezers + bag of smarties.

She had a wonderful time at a party I have before pretended we couldn't attend and I'm sure the b'day boy loved his chocolate hopeful

5madthings Sun 19-May-13 00:07:01

People dont put the siblings name on the invite to get more presents ffs. Its because its a joint party!plus if you are writing out a bunch if invites you just do them all.the same rather tgan have to remembet to give each childs friends the one ftom.the correct sibling.

Talk about over thinking it!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 18-May-13 23:59:28

I'm pretty sure the younger sibling's name is on there as a hint not to be surprised when a bunch of three year olds are at the party. That's all.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 18-May-13 23:53:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PareyMortas Sat 18-May-13 23:50:41

Dd and DS have had joint birthday parties a few times, they are a year apart so both dc's are known to all the invited children. I didn't want people to buy a present for both dc's just the one who was inviting their child, but did t feel I could put that on the invite. In the end We put something like Johnny invites you to his birthday party held jointly with his sister. Whilst we did get a few people buy both dc's a present most didn't and if they did the second present was very token. Tbh I'm liking it much more now they're older and the trend here is to buy a gift card for Game for the boys or similar. Less tat.

MammaTJ Sat 18-May-13 23:43:41

Joint party, present for friend, maybe card fo sibling, maybe not, depends how you feel.

BenjaminButton172 Sat 18-May-13 23:12:41

My dd went to a joint party. She knew one but didnt know the other. The two birthday kids were in the same class & had the same friends however they invited 5 kids each to the party & none of the kids bought for both kids even though the majority of the kids played together at school.

Bumply Sat 18-May-13 22:54:05

Ds1 and ds2 have birthdays two weeks apart so we went through a period of having a joint party. Invites went out to two sets of friends, one for each child. Pretty sure invites were specific to the child - certainly didn't expect parents to give presents for both except for neighbours who knew both boys well.

rainbowbrite1980 Sat 18-May-13 22:46:02

a board game is always a good joint present, for all ages and genders.

rainbowbrite1980 Sat 18-May-13 22:44:45

My children always have a joint party as their birthdays are close together - I haven't thought twice about maikiing invitations that say "X and Y's party" as it didn't even occur to me that classmates etc would think they had to get the sibling a present!! liooking back, a couple of people did get a present for both, but hardly anyone. I think YABU to think this was done to get extra presents!!

Branleuse Sat 18-May-13 21:56:20

I usually have a joint party for my youngest two and put both names on the invite.

it is in no way to get more presents and im actually horrified that people may have thought I was doing a joint party to be grabby.
some people bought a gift for each and some people didnt. I made it clear to all invited that presents weren't even necessary at all, but if they wanted to, then something small.
I put both names on the invitation because its both kids party, not because I want my house filled with more toys, I can assure you

5madthings Sat 18-May-13 21:33:55

I would assume its a joint party and get a present form the child we know and a token gift form the sibling.

flanbase Sat 18-May-13 21:32:50

I keep on the look out for bits and bobs for presents for parties and christmas/birthdays. This saves me time when I have an invite & saves money (or I feel like I save money as I already have something to give)

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 21:32:08

jinty if they were a similar age that would be fine and a good solution, but because of their ages, there isn't really anything joint you could get.

I don't actually have an issue with what present to get etc, I was just wondering how it looks to other people who don't know the mum and its just through school friends. Obviously it isn't that bad a thing to do. Although the mum I did speak to thought the same as me.

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 21:28:50

I'm not saying that people can't have joint parties though. Joint parties are not a bad thing at all.

I do think it is poor that you put the siblings name purely to get more presents for them though.

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