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AIBU?

to get just a tiny bit annoyed when people move to the country and then tell me that London is crap.

123 replies

chocolatefate · 17/05/2013 15:09

Just that really. I grew up in the countryside, but have lived in London for about twenty years, and love it. Loads of our friends are moving to the country, funnily enough often to the area where I grew up. They sometimes invite us for weekends which is obviously lovely and generous but I can't help getting a little bit annoyed when they act as though they are giving us a glimpse into an idyllic lifestyle we have mistakenly foregone and/or start slagging off London, including what a terrible place it is to bring up children. The latter happens quite often. It's also quite difficult to persuade the same people to visit us in town once they have moved out. Why is that?

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RootinTootin · 17/05/2013 15:21

London is brilliant for kids, there is so much for them to do. Gotta be better than my rural upbringing where the highlight of the week was deciding which park bench to drink Mad Dog 20 20 on.

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Blu · 17/05/2013 15:23

If everyone moved to the country there wouldn't be such a thing as the country...

People like differnt things - and they especially have to jutify to themselves and every one else the choices they have made. Converts are always the most evangelical.

Just smile and nod and say 'Good to know it hasn't changed since I grew up here'.

Don't take it so personally.

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chocolatefate · 17/05/2013 15:23

Oh god, agreed. Don't want to make this a slagging off the country thread but I think there's so much to do in London - and we still also get to VISIT the country, so for me, best of both.

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chocolatefate · 17/05/2013 15:24

Yes, not meaning to take it personally, find it interesting though as I genuinely try not to do the opposite if you know what I mean.

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StuntGirl · 17/05/2013 15:24

Because evangelical people are utter self indulgent bores, whatever their particular 'passion'.

Laugh it off, say something like "Oh we must have been trendsetters!" Smile and ignore their silliness.

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dreamingbohemian · 17/05/2013 15:27

Give them some time

That first year after you leave London is pretty amazing, it takes quite a while to decompress... but after a while you do appreciate what you have left.

We left London for France, that first year was so so lovely, but now we are looking to move back and I'm happy about that too.

London is not always a great place to bring up children, it really depends on the family's setup. We really struggled at the time but if we go back we will be much better set up so I think it will be okay.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 17/05/2013 15:32

I moved away to a place that's 'great to raise children'. My DD doesn't get to go to the Science Museum or Natural History Museum and thank goodness we have a multicultural family or she would think everyone in the world except Dora, Rastamouse and a couple of Elmo's friends are white.

I love London.

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Winterwardrobetime · 17/05/2013 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squigglypig · 17/05/2013 15:35

Totally with you on this. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and whilst on paper it looked idyllic (we were pretty much left to our own devices) I remember spending most of my younger childhood lonely because I had no friends my own age in the same village and most of my teenage years plotting my escape.

I do sometimes feel nostalgic but then we go and spend the weekend with my mum and I remember how the highlight of the week would be going to the supermarket and then suddenly I'm not so fussed about the pretty views anymore.

I also feel that there are so many opportunties that my DD will have that I never had, there's so much going on all the time. And when she's older I've got good links with people in all sorts of fields workwise so I think she'll have a good chance to get experience in whatever career she wants (this is 18 years away but I'm a planner!) whereas the only jobs that were about where I grew up were in farming (we weren't farmers) or public services like teaching.

This is what I tell myself when I'm pushing the buggy along the south circular of a morning anyway!

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flanbase · 17/05/2013 15:39

They are probably justifying their move which was their escape to the country. They chose to move & this is most likely because they thought it wasn't right for them a family. This is what they are saying to you - they aren't talking about you choosing to live in London

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FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 17/05/2013 15:42

We moved out of London to the country. I miss it so so much. But we can't afford a house there, so that's that.

London is a brilliant place to live and bring up children.

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garlicgrump · 17/05/2013 16:14

Well, if it's any comfort - I moved to the country and the country is crap!
Trouble is, it's a one-way trip. Once you've left the Smoke you can't afford to go back. You've got to convince yourself - and anyone who'll listen - you did the right thing!
I didn't! I did the wrong thing, and don't mind admitting it!
Still can't afford to go back, though :(

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chocolatefate · 17/05/2013 16:19

Gosh, was sort of expecting to get murdered over this one so thanks for sympathetic response! Squiggly, I too do the south circular, perhaps you are not far away!

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StuntGirl · 17/05/2013 16:28

See I have the opposite, a friend (more of an acquaintance luckily) who moved to London for uni and will not stop banging on about how amazing and interesting London is and how we're all so terribly dull and backwards in our boring little town. I want to throttle him every time I see him.

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SignoraStronza · 17/05/2013 16:31

Another one who grew up in the arse end of nowhere country. The other kids in the area all went to private school and rode ponies, so was a pretty lonely time. As soon as I got to my teens I'd refuse to come home at weekends and spent my time camped out on friends' floors. They'll soon resent all the taxi driving when dcs are older and dcs will get fed up that their friends can't just pop in.
Couldn't wait to escape. I remember the novelty of living a 1 minute walk from a spar shop once I'd moved. Grin

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garlicgrump · 17/05/2013 16:37

Oooh, yes, 24-hour shops just a few minutes' walk away! Being able to buy foreign ingredients! Things going on all the time, not just the third Tuesday of the month at 9:30am. Frequent public transport! I'm torturing myself!!

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Fillyjonk75 · 17/05/2013 16:37

I live 22 miles from London, in the countryside. Can get into central London on the train quicker than when I lived in zone 2. Then get the f**k out again quickly as well.

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Squitten · 17/05/2013 16:40

Me and DH were both born and have lived in London our whole lives. We sometimes discuss moving out somewhere else but have decided that we would miss it too much.

We've found a nice half-way house where we live - a nice leafy suburb with a really great community vibe but also excellent transport links so that we can get in or out of London quite easily.

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GoodbyePorkPie · 17/05/2013 16:47

London's an amazing place to bring up kids - the parks, the museums, the galleries, the theatres ... we have left now (for another city of the same size) and I miss it so much! I think your friends protest a little too much, OP.

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Mintyy · 17/05/2013 16:51

I moved out of London and lived in Devon, near Cornwall, for two years. Couldn't wait to move back and will NOT be making the same mistake again. I've seen quite a few posts on Mumsnet over the years from people who regret moving out of London.

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GrendelsMum · 17/05/2013 16:53

I think people who bang on about how much better their home is than yours are always going to be infuriating, whatever the comparison. London v. not-London, city v. country, one surburb v. another suburb - always annoying to be told how much better their choice is than yours.

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notquiteruralbliss · 17/05/2013 16:53

Gosh, I find it hard to see why anyone would want to we moved out of London about 10 years ago, largely because, at the time, we couldn't afford to stay. The kids love where we live (we have lots of space & they have dogs, ponies etc) but I'd move back like a shot.

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TheHerringScreams · 17/05/2013 16:54

London is amazing. I moved here five years ago, and I love it. We don't live in a good area, but there are loads of places to go, loads f things to do, and so many people that it almost feels comforting- knowing you're surrounding by eight and a bit million other people.

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ComposHat · 17/05/2013 16:57

I hate the country, full of Tories and smells of shite. (cause & effect surely)

Even the bloody archers make it seem dreary and miserable.

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OwlLady · 17/05/2013 17:00

maybe they have become a bit insular?Wink

I have moved to the country, and yes there are lots of gypsy hating tories that smell.

But I like the isolation and the extreme adrenalin when I go to meet friends in London, wahey!

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