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AIBU to think crocodile pajamas are unisex and perfectly suitable for DD?

(186 Posts)
CockyFox Thu 16-May-13 12:32:12

This morning I went to Tesco to get DS and DD some pajamas, DD didn't want any of the girls pajamas (cats, cakes, butterflies etc on them) so I said we would look the other side of the shelf for some for DS and go somewhere else for hers.

On the Boy side we selected some with monkeys on for DS and DD saw some with green and blue crocodiles on, and said she liked those. They had her size so I picked up the pack and asked her if she was sure those were the ones she wanted. She was sure so I popped them in the basket at which point an very friendly assistant who had been setting out shoes told me the Girls pajamas were around the other side of the display, I said thank you but we were fine. Then while i was selecting myself some knickers she appeared with a pack of pink pajamas and asked me if DD preferred those. DD bless looked at me and said 'I like crocodiles' so just said again no, we are fine and walked away.

I am sure IANBU, but do you think I am and if I am could somebody please explain what makes crocodiles unsuitable for girls? I am not bothered by the shop assistant she probably has really girly daughters and thought I was trying to make a point and was making sure the crocodiles weren't being forced on DD.

Scruffey Thu 16-May-13 13:39:56

The assistant was trying to help. It is unfortunate that she has been indoctrinated, so I wouldn't hold it against her.

I dressed my dd in all different colours including ds hand me downsbut once she went to nursery when she was 3, she wanted everything pink and at 5 she still does. She is obsessed with fairies, princesses and looking pretty and she learnt this from other children. I am a bit of a tomboy and dd lusts after high heels that she sees her friends mums in!

loofet Thu 16-May-13 13:40:18

Grr, this really irritates me. Are there no girl crocodiles then? Do they not exist? Also I HATE it when to make animals like monkeys and lions 'girly' they just have them pink and will put long eyelashes and eyeshadow on them hmm Really annoys me.

Animals are unisex. Imo everything is unisex, if a child wants to wear something and feels happy wearing it then whatever. Doesn't matter if it's a boy dressed as a fairy, girl dressed as a builder. Whatever makes them happy.

Yanbu btw, at all.

Xiaoxiong Thu 16-May-13 13:40:50

20 week scan next week - I will be thrilled whatever DC2 is but I can't help sort of hoping it's a girl so I can dress her in all DS's hand-me-downs. She'll look just like the kid in MarthasHarbour's lego ad.

I went round to help my neighbour's two DDs get dressed the other day - their closet was a terrifying sea of lovely things, frills and crochet and bows and birds with bows on their heads and sparkly pink shoes. In despair I finally just dressed them like DS in jeans, t-shirts and hoodies to go to the park.

CockyFox Thu 16-May-13 13:41:07

Are they the same people who warn mums of 2 year old boys not let him help with the cleaning as it will 'turn him gay', as one lovely person said to parent I know recently?

surely nobody really thinks this, cleaning is a life skill for everybody. Of course that is totally irrelevant as you can't 'turn someone gay' by any means even if you wanted to (which my friend often did before he found his partner).

AgroomOfOnesOwn Thu 16-May-13 13:41:15

Society is going backwards.

Like the girl in the Lego ad, all my 70's growing up photos have my bro and I in bright primary colours including matching green and white striped beach hoodies. We're wearing childrens clothes rather then the mini-me gender specific rubbish available.

This has nothing to do with demand either, the fact that we're all buying 'boys' clothes for our daughters does n't register on the till. Any thing I find in a tough fabric at a good price that is n't pastel, camo or covered in slogans I weep with relief at and have been known to buy in several sizes for the future.

Lottapianos Thu 16-May-13 13:41:49

Yes indeed Minty82. sad I was absolutely shock when the mum told me, but then I remembered all the parents who said they wouldn't let their little boys play with dolls or push buggies, and all the parents who say things like 'she loves running, she's such a boy' or 'he loves dressing up, he should have been a girl'. It gives me the rage. Some people are so ignorant.

Xiaoxiong Thu 16-May-13 13:42:54

Yes loofet, eyeshadow for pigs so you know it's a female pig, or they put bows on the animals' heads. WTF does an owl need a bloody bow on its head to make it suitable for a girls' shirt?!

Now if it were actually bloody, that might make it unisex again, because manly things are violent and aggressive, right, like crocodiles hmm

musicposy Thu 16-May-13 13:43:45

This makes me so cross and I wonder how we got to this.

DD2 is 13 and still prefers boys toys and a lot of boys clothes. She gets very cross at the pigeonholing that goes on. She likes Pokemon and Skylanders and lego and dinosaurs and reptiles and electronics sets and all the action stuff. All these things are clearly aimed at boys - why? Why should girls not like them?

The trouble for her now at 13 is that boys PJs are not cut to fit her shape. We found her some Skylanders pyjamas in age 12-13 but they are very wide and not really right. She keeps checking girls clothes for something non pink and fluffy but said with a sigh the other day that girls were never going to get skylanders or pokemon.

She is into onesies as they all are at this age but all the girl onesies are very much pink and bunnies. So she currently has a crocodile onesie which is actually an extra small mens which she loves!

It does worry me because she wants to go on and be a scientist and I know she is going to have to fight her way to be seen as good at a subject which is still supposedly the domain of boys. We're been to a few science workshops at various places and even at places like the Royal Institute she still felt they were praising the boys for their input and taking much less notice of anything she said. And that's where all this gender discrimination that starts at babyhood leads.

I feel very strongly about it and think that it's crazy that in this day and age. The situation is if anything much worse than when I was a child. My lego set was obviously unisex as were a lot of my toys. Rarely happens nowadays. sad

CockyFox Thu 16-May-13 13:44:32

the assistant probably really thought you needed a push in the "right" direction.

I think she did too Lady which is why I wasn't annoyed with her personally just the generally accepted norms regarding animals for girls and animals for boys.

Lottapianos Thu 16-May-13 13:44:50

CockyFox, you are right on both counts, but this mum actually said to me 'everyone tells me I'm going to turn him gay'. Just because he likes to grab a cloth and 'help her' with the dusting. He was 2 years old. 2 sad

Totally agree about animals too. When I'm looking at animal pictures with children, I try to use 'he' and 'she' equally, like 'Ooh look it's the tiger, she's got a long tail' or 'ooh look, the giraffe! He's eating leaves'. It's disturbingly tempting to refer to all animals as he, just shows how much we've all been indoctrinated.

ubik Thu 16-May-13 13:46:01

My three year old DD will only wear trackie bottoms, t shirts and trainers and utterly refuses tights, dresses and hair brushing. She is entirely 'herself' and even the other children are unsure if she's a girl or boy.

Ours have always worn 'boys' t shirts, PJs - I think they like the primary colours and the pictures on the front.

Startail Thu 16-May-13 13:46:23

YANBU
DD1 wore yellow dinosaurs for years.

Well, CockyFox - if your dd grows up to be a butch, dungaree-wearing mechanic who can't find a nice husband, it will be all your fault for allowing her to wear crocodile pjyjamas. << shakes head sadly >>

Seriously - what does the shop assistant think is going to happen? Your dd will grow a moustache and a willy overnight? Good for your dd and for you for fighting back against the tide of candy-pink.

Songbird Thu 16-May-13 13:49:37

I still think this is the best example of the pinkification (do you like my new word?) of a unisex classic. Utterly ridiculous, it makes my blood boil!

OneHandWavingFree Thu 16-May-13 13:49:47

Are you all aware of the Let Toys Be Toys - for Girls and Boys campaign that started right here on Mumsnet about six months ago? You all sound like kindred spirits smile

The campaign is focused on toys, and specifically with asking retailers to stop sorting them under "Girls" and "Boys" and instead to call them what they are: "Dolls", "Construction Toys", "Science and Nature." The campaign has really picked up some momentum and we've had some successes recently - some major retailers are paying attention and making changes. Please join us at FB, Twitter, and by signing the petition!

<sorry for plug, seemed very relevant to thread... Tesco toy section was recently a focus of the campaign, and got some media attention>

Minty82 Thu 16-May-13 13:50:53

Where do you start with the 'cleaning will turn him gay' thing?! With the implication that there's anything wrong with being gay? With the suggestion that it's something you can condition a child into being? Or with the notion that heterosexual men shouldn't clean?!

notso Thu 16-May-13 13:51:36

Went to a play barn with MIL the other day, and put DS3 in a pink baby walker while I got the coffees.
MIL said in hushed tones "Are you leaving him in that? Wouldn't he be better off in a boys one"
My eyes nearly rolled out of my head!

Minty82 Thu 16-May-13 13:52:04

Songbird, that makes me want to cry.

CockyFox Thu 16-May-13 13:54:38

shock at the pink globe.

And if you saw me most of the time SDTG then you'd know it wasn't the pajamas that encouraged dungaree wearing.

Startail Thu 16-May-13 13:55:00

Musicposy I'd a science degree 25 years ago and it makes me angry that girls still pick up that message.

I was an engineers DD and far too thick skinned to care and DD1 wants to do something scientific and has never worked about it being for boys, but both of us do tend to be top of our groups which helps.

DD2 is far more socially aware. She does pick these things up and mutter that the boys are better at maths. In vain do I say they certainly weren't in my class and that one of her friends mum's has a first for maths. If she works there is no reason why she shouldn't be as good as the boys.

Thurlow Thu 16-May-13 13:58:37

I was told my the shop assistant in Clarks that she "wouldn't judge me" when I chose a pair of brown boy's shoes for DD.

If I hadn't had a voucher to spend there I would have thumped her one.

MrsPnut Thu 16-May-13 14:01:22

I hate this too, I have a very strong minded DD2 who will not wear any thing that is remotely dress/skirt like. Neither will she wear pastel colours or anything with trim on that she deems to be too frilly.

I buy mostly boys clothing and the odd item from the girls side. Boden does some quite nice girls clothes in bright colours and she has the tiger pyjamas and absolutely adores them.

NotKathyReichs Thu 16-May-13 14:03:33

Genuine question, too lazy to start a new thread but Ive noticed double standards a lot on these threads; it seems to be acceptable for a boy to run around in pink but not a girl, and more desirable to have a daughter thats a tomboy (I hate that phrase but its the clearest way to explain it).

Im intruiged to why we stereotype tiny girls because of their taste in clothes. Surely its totally acceptable for girls to wear any colour they want including pink sparkly stuff if they is what they want?

SkiBumMum Thu 16-May-13 14:04:18

I agree. Croc pjs sound fab.

I am currently ranting about swimwear. Dd1 is a little fish. She goes to the pool to swim and do somersaults and have fun. She likes her turquoise short sleeve rash vest and wears the shorts from last year's M&S 3 piece uv set. The shorts are falling apart so I've been trying to replace them. Impossible! 4 year old Girls wear itsy bitsy bikini bottoms or swimsuit covered in ruffles apparently. I bought some royal blue swim shorts boxer style trunks in the end. She likes them and they do the job but I suspect if she had been with me in the shop we'd have had a refusal!

OneHandWavingFree Thu 16-May-13 14:04:55

Absolutely, NotKathy, it is totally acceptable for girls to wear any colour they want. What's not acceptable is the children's clothing industries telling girls that they should only want one colour - pink.

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