stranger giving my child money

(225 Posts)
trackies Wed 15-May-13 22:09:36

Was at a toddler group with my 3 yo. There was a professional photographer there taking pics as approved by lady who runs it. They sit on a seat infront of a white screen. My child had a turn. My child is very chatty and friendly and likes posing for photos, and he found him easy to deal with. Bit later on my child, who likes attention and chatting to people, chatted to him for few mins, whilst i was there. Photographer was saying how lovely he was and he'd made his day, and then he gave him a gift of £2 and told him to buy some sweets with it. This freaked me out. I was a bit stunned. I tried to politely say that we can't take his money (i didn't want it!) but he insisted on me taking it. As i was leaving i tried to prize the £2 away from my child but he was clinging onto it so i left cos i just wanted to get out there! Got home and explained to small child that should not take gifts from strangers, but it wasn't his fault. I should have done something at the time. I was just caught off guard. Told my DH who said this man should have not been giving money to my child, and agreed that it's weird, but it could have been just someone being nice. But he was not happy. I told couple of Mummy friends who said it was weird aswell. DH said i definitely need to talk to the women who runs the group just to say that it made me uncomfortable and give the money back. Do you think it's weird ? or an act of kindness ? what would you do ?

ParsleyTheLioness Thu 16-May-13 16:59:20

Used to be done Up North a lot. Usually the older generation. As long as long as you impress he must only accept things when you/DP/Granny/Uncle Tom Cobly is around, no harm done.

Gracelo Thu 16-May-13 16:52:09

Totally common in Southern Germany where I grew up, don't know if they still do it there but would be surprised if they didn't.
dd got coins when she was a new baby in Dundee, it never happened to ds as a baby here at the West coast of Scotland, but he is a winter baby, maybe we just didn't get out with him enough.

It's just kindness. I've had it done to me, had it done to mine and done it to others! Soon all the random acts of kindness will be squashed out of the world because they are deemed "weird" or "creepy" sad

Sianilaa Thu 16-May-13 16:33:20

In fact I remember being 11/12 and getting the train to school. Often we'd get chatting to people on the train and they'd press 50p into my hand or whatever. It was really nice!

Sianilaa Thu 16-May-13 16:31:46

What's worrying and offensive about a small child being given a 50p or £1?

When my two were little we used to chat to people in the supermarket and they'd often be given coins for being well behaved and smiley. It was really sweet! We'd just pop them in their money boxes, you don't have to buy sweets with it if that's what bothers you.

What's the problem?!

MrsRickyMartin Thu 16-May-13 16:01:19

Old fashioned but harmless.

My DS was given 50 p by an old colleague, he said they used to give silver to babies.

I gave sweets to a child when I was pregnant ( I used to carry sweets in my handbag when pregnant), his mum was breastfeeding his sister and he was running. I thought it would help his mum.

I can't believe this is offensive now sad

rainbowbrite1980 Thu 16-May-13 15:36:40

I've never heard iof it happening and I wouldn't feel comfortable.

MrsKoala Thu 16-May-13 15:20:55

we have loads of 'lucky corks' (sarf lahnden). i think traditionally it was a sixpence or threepenny bit.

Mamf74 Thu 16-May-13 15:18:05

Corkscrew - corks!

Mamf74 Thu 16-May-13 15:16:46

MiL told me about this when DD was born, and for research purposes I can say Yorkshire is way more into this tradition than SE London smile.

One thing my Geordie Nan used to do was stick a 10p coin into any Champagne corkscrew used for Celebratory things then give it to the youngest child. Anyone else know of this?

MrsKoala Thu 16-May-13 14:27:46

Silver for a baby is considered lucky (why all christening presents are silver). When i was a baby mum took me to the pub and the locals filled pint pots with silver coins. I made £40 and that was in 1977!

KellyElly Thu 16-May-13 13:40:47

DD accumulates quite a few things from strangers but so far never money (must not be a SE10 thing grin). She was been given a Werther's Original and a pocket torch by complete strangers in the last week!

SunnyL Thu 16-May-13 13:34:51

I used to spend most summers in Greece - with white blonde hair I'd make a killing whenever we went near shops. The shopkeepers would come out to touch my hear and give me either money or sweeties - my poor sister who wasn't as blonde as me never made as much money..

woopsidaisy Thu 16-May-13 13:33:30

The first time we got a taxi to the airport with DSs 1 & 2 we had the loveliest taximan. The boys were about 6 and 4, and in open mouthed awe at the experience if being in a mini van! grin
They said thank you after and the taxi man gave them a £1 each. He said they had made his day, and were to buy themselves something on holiday.
DH and I thought it was lovely!
YABU OP. Relax a little!

Pagwatch Thu 16-May-13 13:25:55

<<unclenches>>

My dad always used to put a silver coin in a pram/cot as a good luck thing.

Rhiana1979 Thu 16-May-13 13:21:14

I would have said its a Scottish thing, mostly done by older people. I'd also heard of older folks tucking coins into babies prams, sometimes complete strangers and not necessarily just good acquaintances.

I found pound coins in my (then) 4 month old's pram when I went to put her in after a feed at a funeral wake. It was a Scottish funeral, I'd never heard of it before and never knew who put the money in.

K8Middleton Thu 16-May-13 13:06:40

Easy Pag. Remember your blood pressure wink

But yeah, 50s is hardly geriatric. Most of my friends in their 50s have primary school aged DC.

Londonseye Thu 16-May-13 13:04:42

Haha!! It is very normal. My kids often get money from strangers because they are "beautiful" or just stood nicely, or played nicely etc. When they were babies, if we took a trip around Morrisons, their pushchairs would often get filled with coins from lovely ladies. We are scottish and it is old fashioned but still done.

Pagwatch Thu 16-May-13 13:00:32

DS1 got loads of money
DD just got random people coming over and telling me variously
"she has an old soul"
"she has been here before"
"she is a crystal child"
"her eyes drew me over here"

confused

It was very weird. The money was way better

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 16-May-13 12:57:04

This is most definitely a West Country thing. Bristol, to be exact, from whence, via Bristol's seafaring heritage, it has been exported all over the globe.

I am very old quite mature. In my youth, I well remember myself, siblings and assorted cousins sitting on the wall outside the pub waiting for my Granfer (Bristolian grandfather) to come out on a Saturday lunchtime (the pubs used to close and then open again in the evening). Granfer was usually the last out and we always made a killing from him and his mates. Always silver coins - sixpences, shillings and even occasionally half-crowns (eight to the pound!). Always 'for the babbies to buy sweeties'

Also the coin in the purse thing - it means that the purse will never be empty.

Pagwatch Thu 16-May-13 12:55:49

Fuck off with the 'in his 50s so an older person thing'

Dear God. [pissed off face]

Cakecrumbsinmybra Thu 16-May-13 12:55:11

My son made about £30 the first time we took him out in his pram!

Wow, I need to move there! OP, I do think you are really overreacting. Would it have been different if it was a woman?

A little old lady insisted on giving DS2 a £1 about 6 months ago in a supermarket. I tried to refuse, but tbh, I could see she really wanted to give it to him. He was only 18 months, so I put it in a children's charity box.

I certainly wouldn't recommend you have 'words with the lady who runs toddler group.'

Nicolaeus Thu 16-May-13 12:49:35

From experience it doesn't seem to be a Brummie thing or a French thing sad angry

grin

I think its definitely a thing that gives the giver pleasure. As PP said, as lot of it for the older generation will be thinking of their family members.

buswanker Thu 16-May-13 12:22:33

I live in Devon and this has happened a few times to my babies.
A few weeks ago a old lady have my baby a fifty pence. I told her he had been poorly when he was born and she kissed him and cuddled him.
It made her happy and me. Made my miss my nan a bit as it was just so lovely.
I have kept the fifty pence for luck this time.

melika Thu 16-May-13 10:53:10

Wish it were a Brummie thing, my DC rarely got anything!!

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