to expect my neighbours not to park across my driveway?

(285 Posts)
coldwater Wed 15-May-13 08:43:05

We have our car parked on our drive, it has a drop curb too. Our neighbours have FOUR cars and a commercial work van, they can only fit two cars on their drive so park the other three vehicles on the road, usually with one parked right across my drive. It annoys the hell out of me, its not like they can't see we have a car and its not like i haven't asked them before not to do it.

We don't have a very good past with these neighbours, them doing DIY until 11pm (drilling etc) and waking my kids up, dog being left out for hours in the snow yelping (which i reported), her teenage children trespassing into my back garden and breaking the trellis i put up to stop them doing it and many more things. I had a row with the mum over the DIY, i asked her to stop and she got stroppy saying she could do what she wanted. I have never mentioned the fact i have caught her kids in my garden though.

Anyway, this morning i woke to one of their cars being parked across my drive, i went mad and said i was going round there, dp said just leave it, i am over-reacting. Am i? I now can't use the car today because the man who owns it has gone to work and surprise surprise has the key with him. So annoyed, selfish idiots they are. So AIBU thinking they should use their brains and not park over someones drive and block them in?

Yes i know i could park on the road, never any space thanks to these that think they own the road and i don't want to because of the teens that hang around outside all night getting up to no good.

BonzoDooDah Sun 19-May-13 11:35:04

Yay coldwater that's a great result from the neighbour! A polite exchange. Woo Hoo!

digerd Sun 19-May-13 10:50:19

I wouldn't risk him scraping that other car in his over-confidence and and showing off. smile I was so shocked as he is normally a quiet polite 'wouldn't say boo to a goose' man.
I just put it down to him having a thing about women drivers and reversing and was his problem grin

inabeautifulplace Sun 19-May-13 10:25:47

Make him do it digerd!

digerd Sun 19-May-13 10:17:42

Oh, that's good news having the dad on your side.

I have a neighbour opposite me and when I mentioned the car parked opposite my driveway, next to him, - was his neighbour's car- he went all bristly and didn't say anything. As I persued the matter with him he suddenly burst out " Anybody who can't reverse out of your driveway, shouldn't be allowed on the road". shock It is a very narrow cul-de-sac. He insisted he could do it easily hmm

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Sun 19-May-13 09:31:46

That is a good update. Hope it continues. smile

coldwater1 Sun 19-May-13 06:16:03

Not really much to update.

Yesterday the neighbour had his car parked just over my driveway, i was able to squeeze out though with a bit of maneuvering. When i came back they had moved the car up and the father came out and apologised and said if the son parks his car in my way again to knock and he'll move it. Would be better to not park it in the way in the first place but its a start i guess! lol

SofiaAmes Sat 18-May-13 23:29:06

One of the wonderful things about the internet is its vast capacity. Our sidetrack discussion will not prevent the OP from giving everyone an update. I found the discussion to be interesting and illuminating (I had no idea that moron was considered offensive before this thread)...I'm sorry that others have found it annoying. I will refrain from any further posts as I would prefer not to annoy my neighbors.

digerd Sat 18-May-13 20:47:08

Yes, indeed. I came back to see if there was update and thought I was on the wrong Thread confused and big sigh.

missuswife Sat 18-May-13 20:26:37

It's all about context. I'm Jewish and would find it offensive if a gentile used the word 'jew' or 'Jew someone down' to mean miserly or bargaining someone down. If a Jew said it in a self-deprecating way that would be ok. Similarly many black people use the n word but it would not be okay for a white person, or like gays taking ownership of 'fairy' or 'queer." Context and intention determine whether it's offensive.

schoolgovernor Sat 18-May-13 20:25:02

Bloody hell. If Op came back here to give an update I doubt she'd bother now. Why can't people start a new thread when they get this far into a thread hijack? FFS.

GlassofRose Sat 18-May-13 20:17:24

I think taking offence depends on what it is. If someone is using any word maliciously to describe another unwarranted/ with obvious prejudice then I fully understand taking offence and voicing it. However if you just don't like the word somebody uses to describe another then the old Stephen Fry saying goes for me:

‘It’s now very common to hear people say, “I’m rather offended by that”, as if that gives them certain rights. It’s no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. “I’m offended by that.” Well, so fucking what?’

SofiaAmes Sat 18-May-13 14:29:17

Actually not everyone like to be identified by their first name. Some prefer you use their last.....Anyway, not quite sure what your point is. I am speaking about my friends and what they tell me, not a "huge raft of people." And actually I do believe you can (and should) take offense on behalf of other people. That's called standing up to bigotry and bullying and it's what we do in a civilized society.

THERhubarb Sat 18-May-13 11:45:04

I think it is downright rude to speak on behalf of a huge raft of people, black or otherwise. You cannot take offence on behalf of someone else and state how they identify themselves, that is patronising beyond belief.

People are individual, how about you identify them as their first bloody names???? I have Irish heritage but so bloody what? If anyone dared to tell me what my identity was or to be outraged on my behalf I would laugh in their faces.

SofiaAmes Fri 17-May-13 21:29:09

GlassofRose, yet another difference between the uk and the usa. Here in the USA, the vast majority of the "blacks" know very little about their African origins and don't have any bonds to their ancestors' countries. The country they affiliate with is the USA. They prefer to be referred to as black or African American. I understand that this is very different in the UK. Most of my "black" friends in the UK knew and affiliated with their country of origin. On the other hand, most of the hispanics I know here in the usa, have strong bonds to their countries of origin because they are more recent arrivals to the USA. My El Salvadorian housekeeper would be offended if you called her a "Mexican" (but not offended if you called her hispanic). Things are different in the USA and the UK. And for that matter they vary quite a bit within the US.
By the way, in the spirit of being respectful to those around you....It may not be insulting to you to acknowledge stereotypes in jest, but it clearly is to others, so presumably Mumsnet is trying to accomodate that as best they can (I think it's a little OTT to ban the word moron, but I respect that I'm not an experienced public forum website manager and perhaps one has to be OTT to prevent unforeseen consequences).

maddening Fri 17-May-13 21:08:46

damm I want parking updates ! They are far more exciting than splitting hairs over the English language....

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 17-May-13 20:09:16

peace and love people

GlassofRose Fri 17-May-13 18:50:57

Stereotypes exist for reasons. In my opinion it's not insulting to acknowledge them in jest.

The fact you group people together as "black" rather then differentiating and fear acknowledging differences in conversation just shows how stupidly PC the world is becoming. To be honest I find the use of "black" rather than Ghanian, Nigerian etc a whole lot more offensive than a stereotype of Jewish people being misers.

The OP outlined the personalities of the neighbours... the neighbouring family do not have any respect for the people who live next door to them the descriptive used was used because of that fact.

marjproops Fri 17-May-13 18:38:01

the point was the original thread about the parking, but its escalated into this!

SofiaAmes Fri 17-May-13 18:27:04

Point was only that there are differences in what is considered offensive from one side of the pond to the other. Not profound, just a comment. I am Jewish (by blood). I didn't hang out with too many fellow jews in the uk as I am not practicing, so I was wondering if Jews in the uk were like here where lots of fun is poked at oneself. ie It's ok for me to say it's the jew in me that makes me frugal, but not ok for someone else to say it. I have conversations on the subject often with my black friends who will make comments about blacks that are acceptable because they are making them, but wouldn't be acceptable if I was making them.
Having said all of that, I try to not call people names of any sort whether they are politically acceptable like idiot, or not pc like moron. Neither is kind and in most cases is probably not fair (I'm a big believer in giving people the benefit of the doubt for just about anything....maybe the op's neighbor gets beaten up by her husband and was running late and decided that parking in the op's driveway was less problematic than the consequences of being late and dealing with her husband...ok it's far fetched, but maybe there's a reason. Doesn't make her behavior ok, but it does mean that she probably is not an idiot or a m****).

StuntGirl Fri 17-May-13 16:17:49

"I do wish posters would act their bloody age and just tell the person concerned if they have a problem instead of running to teacher."

Well given MNHQ's preferred method is for people to 'run to teacher' every time they have an issue is it any wonder?

GlassofRose Fri 17-May-13 14:30:45

I understand you find it offensive and it's considered offensive in the USA (which I find odd considering the popular films featuring like Jonah Hill, Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen where being Jewish is humorous).

I'm also aware that different terms are acceptable in some places when they might not be in others. Especially apparent with American cartoons/films using moron (Toy story & spongebob) and the UK's mumsnet saying it's offensive.

So what is your point that I missed? confused

Out of interest: Are you Jewish or taking offence to money jokes on our behalf?

SofiaAmes Fri 17-May-13 14:17:33

GlassofRose you have misunderstood my point. You may not find the term "jew" used synonymously with miserliness offensive. And in my experience it seemed to be acceptable in the uk (when I lived there 10 years ago, it was regularly used by my colleagues who were educated and worldly and not yet influenced by Borat). However, I find it offensive and here in the USA it would be considered so by most people. I was simply making a point that different terms can have different levels of offensiveness in different places.

GlassofRose Fri 17-May-13 14:03:54

I mentioned the same about the word idiot upthread because cretin, imbecile, moron are all considered alternatives to it.

It would seem fool is the only safe option or bastard, cunt, wanker...

coldwater1 Fri 17-May-13 13:41:26

lol Yeah that's true. I think i'll go and untick all those boxes after all!

THERhubarb Fri 17-May-13 13:38:08

Ah the old "unsubscribe here" trick which just validates your email address. Nah, as you are logged in just click on your registration and untick all the boxes which will be automatically ticked to sign you up for every newsletter under the sun.

You may only log into your old email every now and then but when you do need to use it, you'll have to delete a hundred or so Mumsnet emails first. Including the ones slapping your wrist wink

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