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To be irked by SIL

(26 Posts)

I am not all too sure why the following is bugging me, but it is and I would like some insight into if I have any right to be annoyed and if indeed my SIL is in fact in the right for being annoyed with me!

We are having a new kitchen fitted. It has taken us years to get the landlord to do this and is despritly needed, the kitchen is as old as the house, built in the early 80's.

Due to the fact the house is in fact a postage stamp myself, DH and the 2 DC need to move out of the house for at least the first week of the process as on top of no food prep the living room will be like a staging area if old units out and new in. Kitchen and living room make up the whole ground floor, as I said, postage stamp!

We have only one reasonable place to go and that is my inlaws who live in a nearby (5 miles away) village. Due to the fact my eyes are still not fit to drive post surgery we needed to plan this for half term as getting the children to school in our village would be very difficult and relay on allot if good will from others.

In an ideal world we would take a nice break away, visit my family up north or something however DH has just been made redundant so needs to be around for any interviews (he could be hopefully working again by then fingers crossed but if he is that would also rule out holiday so soon into a new job). I work freelance and have some work booked in during that week also so multiple reasons, the big one of the redundancy known to all.Tiana Coudray badminton 2013 cross country with the grandparents for her brood so her and her DH can have a little quality time. DH gives her the dates to SIL with me warning she wasn't going to like it. She didnt. She replied with 'oh but that's half term, would have thought you would go on holiday or at least roadkill would be grabbing the chance to go up north' . She is not happy at all that it won't be possible for her children to have an overnight while we are there.

This has annoyed me, more then it should I know. It is the lack of thought. Yes redundancy gives a lump sum but that is to keep us afloat while DH finds work, it's not for funding holidays or road trips and isn't exactly a large sum! I also irrationally I know, want to ask her how she thought I would get the children to school if we had not gone for starting the work half term. I know she wouldn't have known I had work on but she obviously knows DH is madly job hunting and interviewing and could easily (hopefully) have just started a new job, not exactly holiday booking time!

I shouldn't be annoyed I know, and I also have the petulant child in me saying that SIL is always using the inlaws for child care for them to go out or have a night off and (out of choice) we rarly ask anything of the inlaws in that way and when we do it almost always ends up with SIL asking MIL to have her three as well as our two which although MIL does so seemingly happily I do feel us a little unfair of the PIL and taking the mick somewhat.

Anyway, after all that, has SIL got a point, should we have planned to go away rather then staying with PIL?
Have we unfairly manopolised half term?
I know IABU to be pissed off though, really shouldn't let it get to me and is a pointless non problem. It is the PIL that count. It is they we are staying with and they agreed. It really has nothing to do with SIL so why has it annoyed me so much? (Sort answer to my own thread I would guess is I am worried, stressed out abit being the sole earner on my regular income of a whole £80 ish a month.)

Feel better now it's off my chest now actually. This post is epic. Congrats if you have made it this far, sorry and thanks!

Kafri Wed 15-May-13 09:49:34

if she's thinking about the kids missing out on seeing their GP, tell her the summer hols will be here in no timesmile
if shes thinking about herself and having no break over half term - tell her, well - just tell her jot to be so selfish!
have a good week with the ILs and look forward to a nice new kitchen.

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