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To have judged this mum giving her kids their breakfast in the CAR!!???

(159 Posts)

One child had a bowl of cereal, spoon and all and the other was eating toast.
I thought really, how disorganised do you have to be not to give your children breakfast before they leave the house...

Fast forward three years and I practically serve up three course meals in the car as we are always in a rush, whilst they watch a DVD on the DVD player I was never ever going to have in my car....

What things did you get all judgemental about before you had kids and realised that you do whatever you can just to get through the day?!

I judged people with tantruming toddlers and fussy eaters. I mean, how hard could it be to train them properly? I had a dog and a psychology degree so knew exactly what I was doing.

DD1 still won't eat anything with green bits in it, whilst DD2 can silence a cafe with her screams.

On the other hand, I was going to stop breastfeeding at six months exactly and never feed to sleep. As for cosleeping, God forbid!

Ha ha ha ...

I like it that I was wrong on so much. It makes me a less insufferable person.

honeytea Tue 14-May-13 15:18:17

My child was never going to have a bit of plastic stopping them expressing their feelings. 4 days, that is how long we lasted before I caved in and used the dummy my knowing friend had given us.

Ds was never going to wear and slogan clothing or typically boy clothing (but now he is lucky to get clean clothing, unisex stripes or a blue babygrow saying daddy's little footballer it doesn't really matter)

I have found things to judge that I never knew existed before I became a mum. I have a friend who had a half our conversation with me about how worried she was about her baby's flat head, whilst she was talking to ne and drinking her coffee her 3 month old ds was drinking his bottle by himself in his pushchair.

badbride Tue 14-May-13 14:54:36

I've always been flummoxed as to why some folk disapprove of dummies so much. A screaming baby makes a godawful nerve-shredding noise. Pop a dummy in its mouth and the godawful noise often stops. What's not to like?

Then again, I don't have DCs, so what could I possibly know?? smile

wickeddevil Tue 14-May-13 14:41:25

Oh dear I was going to be such a perfect Mummy.
My DCs would never have dummies / eat sweets, crisps or Macdonalds / play with guns or computer games and I would never ever use the TV as a babysitter.
Mmmmm
2 of my 3 DCs had dummies, our house is full of toys that I used to disapprove of and to my eternal shame the first letter of the alphabet they learned after their own initial was M. They can spot those Golden Arches like a bird of prey hones in on a small mammal.
Breakfast on the go is just good time management. And I love old jacks boat.

Manyofhorror3 Tue 14-May-13 13:51:56

I judged my sister "giving in" to my nephew. Cooking especially what hw liked, letting him wear loopy things like a pirate hat 24/7, cosleeping, al fresco wees etc.
Then God sent me a beautiful but ferocious tantrummer who prefers triangular food, has never slept in his own bed and insists on a dinosaur coat every day. blush

mcgilly Tue 14-May-13 13:41:41

Oh and surely a sandwich in the car can be quite a healthy breakfast? I struggle to eat early in the morning and so do a lot of kids. Cheerios and sultanas work too.

PurplePidjin Tue 14-May-13 13:40:58

sherbertpips you'd hate me then blush although i take care not to preach

I judged a grown man on roller blades this morning. Then i realised he was carrying a child's scooter and it was just after school started and decided he was a genius grin

mcgilly Tue 14-May-13 13:39:39

This is such a (mostly) warm thread of people giving themselves, and others, a break.
Pre DC I judged almost everything ... Now almost anything goes and each to their own. But I loathe smoking and swearing.

Fancydrawers Tue 14-May-13 13:03:14

I judge mothers who smoke while pregnant/when their child is in the pram. Disgusting. Nothing's that urgent, surely.

MidniteScribbler Tue 14-May-13 13:02:53

I used to hate the snot thing. Wipe their nose for goodness sake! Then DS started nursery and spent six months with a runny nose. Where the hell does it all come from???

I've never been a dummy fan for older children and hadn't even intended on letting DS have a dummy. A few sleepless nights and I begged him to take one. He decided that karma was more fun and completely refused any attempts at taking one.

I was only going to (reluctantly) breast feed for six months. I thought I was being a good mother to give him that long. It was fourteen months before I could convince him to give that up.

I'm still judgmental about kids running around in restaurants. That has never changed. And I still think letting kids have those little trolleys at the hardware shop is pure insanity.

Ahhhh it was so nice when I used to be a perfect parent before DS was born.

Nicknamefail Tue 14-May-13 12:54:36

Around naps.

Nicknamefail Tue 14-May-13 12:54:00

I used to think people were being precious when they timed arrival/departure astounds naps etc. fast forward to me becoming the mother of a baaaaad napper and I feel guilty for those thoughts.

BlueberryHill Tue 14-May-13 12:51:05

I used to judge when parents hid vegetables in food, made faces out of pizzas to get children to eat. Mine would eat vegetables because I told them to do so and would only eat what we ate.

Oh the bliss of ignorance, fast forward a few years and I'm blending pasta sauces to get more vegetables in them.

I was judgey on loud parenting of a child on a train once, however, I think I still would be a bit judgey still on this. Sorry. However, really sympathetic on public tantrums or meltdowns.

Always have been judgey on swearing, smoking, unsafe driving near children / with them in the car.

sherbetpips Tue 14-May-13 12:46:01

The snot thing astounded me, especially when they were teething there were permanent candles of snot. I haven't changed my mind on the kids running round restaurants though - hate that still. Our local just banned kids after 7.30. So instead of having the balls to tell the parents of the tearaways to keep them at the table and risk losing there custom they instead ban a whole set of other customers. Joy.
I love listening to the idealistic new mums with there breastfeeding, wrap carrrying, baby led weaning, blah, blah, blah. I barely managed to get up every day for the first six months!

DollyClothespeg Tue 14-May-13 12:41:11

A bowl of cereal in the car?! That'd be a tad messy. confused
Fling the brakes on too quickly and they'd have a lap full of milk....

LemonsLimes Tue 14-May-13 12:39:20

Oh yes i don't like it when people pick their toddler up by one wrist.

LaQueen Tue 14-May-13 12:25:17

Agree with mistle - DD2 has naturally olive skin...she spends one afternoon in the garden, on a sunny April day - and looks like she's just got back from 2 weeks in Greece [shrugs]

DH is exactly the same. Soooooooo unbelivably tanned after the sunny Bank Holiday - 'Oh, have you just got back from somewhere exotic?' people ask... 'Er, no just 3 days in Kent' DH replies.

So unfair hmm

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 14-May-13 12:23:01

EVERYTHING.

Snotty noses, screaming, feeding them junk food, extended bf-ing, co-sleeping, plastic tat, goo-goo baby talk, children butting in when adults are talking, dummies, sticking them in front of TV, many other things I do not wish to remember now.

DS has never had a dummy, purely because he refused. We spent the first three months forcing them on him in an effort to shut him up, so I think he's probably a bit phobic now.

LaQueen Tue 14-May-13 12:21:01

Pah - I fully intended to batch cook organic mush for my DD1, carefully spoon it into ice-cube trays, and then de-frost as required...

24 hours into weaning (DD1 spat it all back, then howled), and already with rampaging morning sickness with DD2...I rushed to Tesco, and bought a trolley full of Hipp Organic...never looked back grin

OrmirianResurgam Tue 14-May-13 12:20:10

Most things. I had A Plan before my children were born.

EasilyBored Tue 14-May-13 12:14:42

I judge dummies when the child is running around, talking with it in their mouth. Not fussed otherwise. I tried to get DS to have on when he was little, but no joy.

I was a bit judgy about food - but I have a toddler who eats like a sparrow and I will pretty much let him eat anything now. And if I'm eating something, I feel like I can't really say know, so he shares all my cake/biscuits/crisps if he catches me eating them. I also used to be judgy about people who's children were having tantrums out in public, but now I'm just like 'phew, it's not me carrying my toddler out of a shop under my arm while he screams today!', and try and offer sympathetic looks.

I am still very judgy about children playing games that aren't age appropriate (I'm looking at you family member who lets their three year old plat CoD, unsupervised). But I'm actually jealous of people who can get their toddler to sit and watch a half hour programme. DS just kind of glances at In The Night Garden/Peppa Pig etc in a kind of disinterested way and goes back to rampaging round the house. Half an hour of down time in front of the TV would be useful!

I hate it when people swear and scream at their children, or drag them around by the arm. I nearly confronted someone the other week who literally dragged their child (about 4 or 5) across a car park by his arm, with his toes dragging on the floor. Poor boy was really upset, and I know it would have been dangerous to let him run off, but it looked so painful. I didn't confront him though as I had wriggling, whining, flailing DS in my arms and I figured it would look a bit hypocritical for me to say anything when I was essentially restraining my child and the only difference being that he's still small enough to be picked up.

southbank Tue 14-May-13 12:03:30

can't beleive how many people judge dummies!
Another one here whose son was given a dummy in scbu,
as I was in mat ward with his twin sister and very ill anything that gave him comfort I fully supported as he was alone for long periods of time.
He gave his dummy up at 3.5yrs,sorry but judge away!it was his comfort,it soothed him,got him to sleep,calmed him down,and was his safety net ifswim,and I wasn't about to take that away from him before he was ready.
However when he was ready he happily handed it over,no harm done whatsoever.
I'm the kind of parent who will judge the person judging anothers child or parenting and say something,for example I was on a train last week with a crying baby in my carriage,a young couple were tutting away saying can't they shut it up,I told them 'no she can't just shut it up,it's a baby,remember this when you have your own kids'!

Heffa that's horrible. I hate seeing people screaming abuse at their kids for no reason. I'm always the one lone voice going, hey stop that! (Then running away before I get lamped)

gail734 Tue 14-May-13 11:22:01

I've never been judgey about dummies. What's wrong with a dummy? MN helps me to discover new ways in which I'm being judged! I ostentatiously walk around Asda with a pair of socks in my hand so that the poor little match girl in the buggy (DD10 mo) doesn't make people cry. Smoking pregnant makes me shudder - I only gave up because I was pregnant. I used to say "My child won't know what a chocolate button IS!" (hollow laugh).

Tee2072 Tue 14-May-13 10:43:11

sashh the first person to give my son a dummy was a SCBU nurse. She said 'Do you mind? It's comforting him and helping him associate his full tummy with sucking and swallowing (he was fed through a tube).'

My reply was 'Oh fuck no. Give him two!' grin I may not have actually said fuck. But I may have.

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