Miss/Mrs/Ms

(160 Posts)
MephistophelesSister Mon 13-May-13 20:26:54

I don't usually get to het up about Miss/Mrs/Ms (and apologies in advance, because I know the debate crops up on here fairly frequently) But I am trying to buy some insurance, and am starting to lose my temper.

I am married, but I sometimes use my maiden name. For this particular insurance I actually need to use my maiden name. However, if I try and select 'Miss', the helpful website blocks me from proceeding with the message 'marital status does not correspond with title'.

I am fully entitled to use the prefix Dr. Unfortunately loads of websites won't offer this as an option (which is a pity, as I find it a handy dodge). In this case they will, but I gained my doctorate under my married name, so that doesn't sit right.

I can't (or really, really, shouldn't) lie about my marital status - that would put me on shaky ground if I ever came to claim, and might influence the quote. But as far as I know there is no law against/reason why a married woman can't continue to use her maiden name and prefix it with 'Miss'?

Using 'Mrs' in front of my maiden name just seems wrong, and I have simply never liked 'Ms'.

[Wails] why can't they just let me have it my way!!!

catsrus Thu 16-May-13 11:38:30

In over 30 yrs of using Ms I had NEVER heard that it was supposed to mean divorced until I came on MN confused I probably just dont read the kind of media that feeds that assumption. Where possible I don't use a title, when a web site or form "forced" me into using one I would use Ms (never changed to his surname for any purpose whatsoever. Simpler to keep my own). Once I had a PhD I started to use Dr.

Squigglypig Thu 16-May-13 12:11:11

I like being married but I still feel a bit funny when I get called Mrs Squigglypig. At work I tend to use Ms for female clients etc (I'm a lawyer) and don't associate it with divorced women.

I really loved it in Battlestar Gallatica where every adult regardless of gender was called "Sir" in a kind of army way, it took a bit of getting used to watching it but I thought it was a kind of cool way of dealing with titles. (Watch BC if you haven't -it's brilliant and not the geek fest it looks like from cover).

auldspinster Thu 16-May-13 12:41:05

I found in Germany that Fraulein was for girls and adult women Frau.

My mum is widowed and hates being addressed as Ms whereas i'm a civil servant and hate when callers ask for my title, like my marital status is any of their business - I like the idea of being addressed as madam but i'm probably alone on that one!

Jan49 Thu 16-May-13 13:17:41

I'm glad people here don't think Ms means divorced. I think it's just something I came across a lot years ago when I first called myself Ms and I think older generations think it means divorced. It didn't bother me at the time, but now that I'm divorced, I hate to think that anyone thinks I'm calling myself Ms for that reason. For me the whole point of calling myself Ms all my adult life is that it's a title that avoids showing marital status and is equal to Mr.

cheaspicks Thu 16-May-13 13:20:08

Yes, in Germany Fräulein is only used for children and even then not used much.

I find it slightly odd that so many on the thread see Miss as an al-purpose female title, but then I haven't lived in the UK for over 12 years. I was brought up to use Ms and I would suggest that if the US, Canada and New Zealand have all adopted Ms as the standard title that anyone campaigning for Miss or Mrs to be used instead is probably fighting a losing battle.

When people change their surname to their spouse's on marriage, do they change their name by deed poll, or can you apply for a passport in your partner's name just by producing a marriage certificate?

cheaspicks Thu 16-May-13 13:26:27

Just checked, 3yo dd is Frau according to her savings account.

bollockstoit Thu 16-May-13 13:57:25

Was just on the phone to the bank and was asked to confirm my full name including title and middle name. I'm afraid I may have said "Ms" rather forcefully blush

Decoy Thu 16-May-13 15:01:20

Good for you bollockstoit grin

Scholes34 Thu 16-May-13 15:30:07

the computer only says no because someone has been overthinking things and has programmed it that way. Of course it's perfectly okay to use the title Miss when you're married. You can call yourself what you like.

1Catherine1 Thu 16-May-13 20:32:58

You can just produce the marriage certificate cheaspicks to change your name.

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