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AIBU to kill DH? Kill him good and proper...

(94 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:22:25

He is, apparently, blameless. Free of any wrongdoing. Never at fault. Here are two examples:

1. Last week, we went to Legoland for sunday and monday. On saturday night, I let our 8 month old kitten out at about 10pm then I went to bed. Before I went to bed, I said to DH "Don't forget the cat is outside." We don't have a flap installedyet, the cat meows to come in. Anyway, I wake up the next morning and realise soon enough that moggy isn't in. I say to DH "Did you let the cat in last night?" He says "You didn't tell me to" I did say he was outside. I wasn't telling you as an information service on the cat's whereabouts. It gets to half an hour before we're due to leave and I can't get the cat in. "This is your fault!" I hiss at DH. He says "Don't blame ME" hmm

2. Today, I put aload of DS's washing in, including school uniform. I ask DH to get it out and dry it on radiators whilst I take DS to a party. I get back and DH says "There was some tissue in the wash. It's all got stuck to DS's trousers" I say "Oh ok." assuming that he would have had the sense to wash them again. But no. They are drying on the upstairs radiators, with tissue paper all hardening on them. I need them for tomorrow. You think he'd have stuck them in again on a quick cycle? No. I say "Right... I'LL wash them again or else DS has no school trousers." He says "Don't blame ME" Well, actually, YOU took them out and saw that they were plastered in tissue. Use your fucking brain.

<stab stab stab>

Yes, definite death penalty.

I get 'where's the keys? butter, coat, wallet, fucking dog, kids anything...before he's even cast an eye around the place, drives me mad!!

Am thinking about orbital nuking now.

BreconBeBuggered Italy Mon 13-May-13 14:05:35

Initiative isn't always a good thing in a spouse. Mine was astonished at my lack of gratitude when I was hunting under the stairs for last year's summer flatties, barely worn due to crappy weather. 'Oh, I took them to the tip. They looked a bit bent', he said proudly, when asked if he'd seen them. Gormless or merely fuckwitted? I can't decide.

peeriebear Mon 13-May-13 14:12:11

Oh and DH has finally, after several years, conceded that he might have, by accident, taken my original 70s Wrangler denim jacket to the charity shop. "If I did, it was an accident." It accidentally fell off the hook from underneath the winter coats, fell into your hand and you fell through the door of a charity shop?! angry It was my mum's!!

Lj8893 Mon 13-May-13 14:15:31

This morning I was in the bedroom and dp shouted through from the bathroom (out flat goes bedroom, lounge, bathroom) where's a towel?!
Umm hanging on the bathroom door where there's always one!
After he had left for work I went into the lounge to find said towel soaking wet chucked on the lounge floor!

Really?!?!?

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 13-May-13 14:16:16

"They looked a bit bent" grin

bugsyburge Mon 13-May-13 17:07:06

this has cheered me up no end!!!!

on the rare occasion that my oh has the initiative to partake in any sort of housework im am given the grand tour on my arrival home from work.
he drags me round the house while proudly announcing each and every thing that he has done while looking at me expectantly.
i would like to say that if i played him at his own game he would get the message but im afraid he is just too thick skinned.
oh and has anybody else noticed that regardless of what else hubbys do at home ironing and cleaning the loo is a no no?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 14-May-13 07:15:59

DH does the ironing here.

The cleaner cleans the loo grin

OrangeLily Tue 14-May-13 07:20:51

DH does the ironing here too!

ChairmanWow Tue 14-May-13 07:31:53

Not quite housework-related, but my DH is a CD wrecker. He never puts them back in their cases and onto the shelves, they are just left lying around, sometimes even on the floor. I find them scratched to bits and it drives me demented. Then he denies all knowledge and blames me! Aaaaargh! I ALWAYS put them away. He is slowly ruining our music collection. And it's apparently my fault. My fault for marrying the bastard.

I have to tell him when it's time to change his towel because it stinks, sometimes even his clothes (the other day I had to remind him that he'd been wearing the same t-shirt for a while and it was rancid). I put his dressing gown on last week and it stank of sweat. What is wrong with his sense of smell? It's like living with a bleeding student. A 40 year old student.

punter Tue 14-May-13 07:37:40

OK here is my example. DH getting ready to walk the lab puppy.
'Can you get me some treats for him?'
'Have we (!) got a poo bag?' - yes they are in the hall table drawer like every time you ask.
'What's the weather like? Do I need a coat?'
Cue much muttering about not being his mother etc etc and being told to cheer up and not be argumentative.
'Should I wear sunglasses?'
The puppy has now laid down realising that the walk is some way off.
With all this robust conversation DH has decided he needs to go to the loo so disappears off.
Eventually leaves the house with puppy and I am tempted to change the locks.

SoupDragon Tue 14-May-13 07:47:31

Did he actually acknowledge you saying the cat was out?

And did the tissue materialise from nowhere whilst the wash was on? I imagine not.

And yes, the thread (whilst clearly not serious) is in rather poor taste given recent events on MN.

punter Tue 14-May-13 07:54:11

What recent events SoupDragon?

CuntChops Tue 14-May-13 13:30:19

hmm at recent events??

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 14-May-13 14:02:42

A dear MNer sadly lost her DP at the weekend. I think that is what SoupDragon is alluding to.

CuntChops Wed 15-May-13 09:31:55

Ah, yes fair enough.

weisswusrt Wed 15-May-13 12:56:16

So, I wont kill him, but violently shake my DH by the shoulders....after having a long, bitter argument about who had lost the car keys (he has them in his pocket during whole drama) I find him PLANTING the keys in my handbag! Too ashamed to admit being wrong he tried to frame me!

digerd Wed 15-May-13 13:22:01

DH brilliant at mending things , Self Assembly, DIY, and packing the shopping neatly in boxes in the car boot.

Me hopeless at all those things.

CuntChops Fri 17-May-13 07:21:51

weisswurst LTB!!!

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