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to quit my job in this climate?

(146 Posts)
burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 15:21:05

Hi all

Need some MN wisdom, regular ( although not on AIBU), have namechanged as I dont want to out myself. This is more of a wwyd to be honest.

I am a secondary school teacher, been in job 8 years, at top of pay scale and also have extra responsibilities. However I am miserable. School are heaping more and more work on me, I rarely leave the building before 6, later some nights, then im back in front of my computer screen when dd is in bed. Admittedly some parts of the year are worse than others and I am currently in the middle of one of the crap parts (exam season), but I want to leave. Other things are swamping me about the job, increasing targets, incredible scrutiny from parents, heads, bloody Gove, Ofsted. There also feels to be a culture of kids being encouraged by pastoral leaders to complain about teachers and I have spent the last month defending myself against things I'm supposed to have said or done to upset xyz kid. Its exhausting and so damaging for the self esteem, I feel crap at my job in spite of gettting good results.
Heres the thing, I want out of teaching completely because I feel done with it. My DP is postively encouraging me to resign and said he will finanacially support me through a careeer change (socia work or OT) and although it would be tight, he could cover it. I can't help but feel though that it is madness to walk out of a well paying job without another one to go to, and one that lots of people would love to have. .
I'm in my mid 30's, one child and the idea of being a full time student while dp works his backside off feels so self indulgent to me. There is a deadline to resign coming up (31stMay) and I just cant write the letter. DP is getting increasingly frustrated with my indecisiveness and feels that I am being unreasonable not to take his offer but then complain about being unhappy.

AIBU? does anyone else think that it would be crazy to just leave and sort out a course/another job after I've left? my mum is climbing the walls btw, thinks im throwing everything away, which fills me with more doubt, that I am indeed..... 'throwing it all away'

newyearnewattitude Sun 12-May-13 15:56:42

Contact your local uni about OT places, they often accept late applicants... I applied in July to start that Sept! OT is good, I did a year and was lured back to psychology though but it is a versatile career....

Casmama Sun 12-May-13 16:00:39

I think in your shoes I would plan on doing one more year. Do some research into what you want to do and apply so you aim to start sept 2014.
If you are going to resign this month then I would think you need to have a stronger plan. That said if your DP is happy for you to be a sahm for a year while ou plan then go for it.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:04:56

Im in manchester.

That's really interesting about gettting onto OT so late! I looked at the Masters, but the closest is in Sheffield ( suppose I could drive every day?) but would be really worries about childcare when it comes to placements and getting back from late lectures. DP absolutely cant commit to looking after DD after school on anything other than the odd occassion, and to be honest, I wouldnt expect him to if I was gonig to be doign something like this.
The masters is only 2 years and I'd be able to register as an OT immediately, which sounds amazing, but jusging by soem forums I briefly looked at, they are scrapping each other for places on that course. The other option is to just start the undergraduate BSC from scratch ( 3 years), I thought I's long said goodbye to my studies, but I would just have to suck this up!

Bowlersarm Sun 12-May-13 16:06:45

Could you stay for another year and save like mad for that year so you would have a little independency money-wise? That way you know you will only be there for a limited time, get some money behind you, and it gives you a few months to further explore which direction and career you think you may want to go in.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:07:24

casamam, I know what you mean, and this is what my mum is getting at. I couldn't be a sahm mum tbh as dd isnt at school, but I would definitely maybe do some supply and maybe voluntary work in OT?

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:11:13

DD isat school ( another typo!) blush

I know the argument for staing another year is strong - it makes perfect sense, but I am really struggling to cope and the atmosphere where I work is really not nice. I feel bad about myself every day I work there, truly.
I do get though that my plans are very 'vague' and its that which makes me feel very self-indulgent.

LowLevelWhinging Sun 12-May-13 16:12:40

just to add to the social work comments, I recently qualified and the jobs are very very thin on the ground. Councils are letting social workers go rather than taking on, and the teams that are left are working under particularly stressful conditions.

So unless you have a passion for this sector, I wouldn't recommend it.

Life is too short to be that miserable.

You are more fortunate than most in that you have a supportive partner who is happy for you to leave and go on to do something else you will enjoy more.
Go for it!

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:17:50

gosh I'm shocked about social workers being thin on the ground when the courses are being funded and they are encouraging professionals from other jobs to retrain in it.

Does anyone know if there is a lot of OT work around?

Amilliondifferentpeople Sun 12-May-13 16:25:14

When I read your post I wondered if it was from an OT ... As shocked when I read you wanted to get in to it...

I'm a bit of a burnt out OT.... Same worries as you really. Increasing pressures, targets and demanding patients.

Having said that, it's a good career. I believe in what I do, and most of the time am happy with the choice I made. However, the jobs are drying up. If you check the nhs jobs website you'll see they're a bit few and far between.

Wrt place,nets and training, allowances are usually made for people with families so don't let that put you off.

Amilliondifferentpeople Sun 12-May-13 16:26:07

Sorry - didn't mean to sound negative!

On good days it is really good. Honestly!

trinity0097 Sun 12-May-13 16:27:10

I would second the consider the independent sector, I made the switch, and ok the days are longer, but I get more time in the day to do school work, less marking etc as the classes are smaller, and most importantly less admin! We are free to take on whatever we want and not adopt policies if we think that they are meaningless box ticking things! Holidays are longer too to make up for the intense term time.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:34:30

A million- didn't realise the jobs were thin on the groundconfused. I naively thought if courses were funded there was a job shortage.
what am I doing?! Argh!

goodoldgirl Sun 12-May-13 16:34:31

I say resign. Do some supply while you find a course/career you'd like to retrain for.

Our careers are so long these days that I don't think it's reasonable to expect everybody to stay in the career they chose at the age of 21 until they retire at 66. That's 45 years. Way too long to stay in a career that you've had enough of.

People change as they mature/get older, so naturally, what they're good at changes, and what makes them happy changes. It's only natural to change the direction of your career once in while during those 45 years (or 48 years if you start work at 18).

twinmummy24 Sun 12-May-13 16:34:59

I can't offer advice about courses etc but just wanted to let you know
that I did something similar last year. I had worked as a children's nurse for ten years but was at total burnout, heading towards a breakdown, i. was so stressed out, dreading going to work as the pressure and responsibility mounted and it was making me a rubbish mummy and horrible wife.
So, i walked, with no plan grin thankfully my DH was amazing and totally supported my decision. I was very lucky and things quickly fell into place, i started training as a TA and was offered a part time contract at easter which makes our homelife so much easier.
I think the biggest improvement has been with my homelife, because i am much less stressed life is calmer, the DC's are much happier and mine and DH's relationship has massively improve.
My vote is go for it, life is far to short to be miserable, and good luck smile

badguider Sun 12-May-13 16:37:26

YANBU if you really buckle down to your research for these next two weeks - I'm sure you could find a course to start in september or at least find the information you need to make the decision.
Post-grad courses fill remarkably late in my experience. And if you don't find one you can get into in Sep 13 then you've time to make a plan for a year that might include some combination of supply teaching, work experience in your new field of interest and online/access/OU course.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:38:14

I also thought OT was less stressful, less paperwork, leave your office at 5, no weekends etc. Have I got this all wrong?!

badguider Sun 12-May-13 16:38:16

Btw. your DH probably isn't entirely altrusitic in his support - it's probably in his interest too that you are happier and less stressed and not doing something which eats into your evenings so much.

Bogeyface Netherlands Sun 12-May-13 16:41:32

I wouldnt because I recently lost my job through no fault of my own and know how hard it is to get one, even with qualifications and experience.

Retraining is all very well, but only of there are jobs out in what you are training for. Have you researched the job market in the careers you are interested in?

Confused40 Sun 12-May-13 16:44:48

I'd say go for it and take the leap of faith. You are clearly not happy, and from what you've said you will have lots of support. Life is too short for regret, and not only that you can work in the summer break from uni to earn extra money too. It'll do your self esteem the world of good too.
If you don't do it then shoulda woulda coulda will always play on your mind. Plus you can always fall back on your teaching skills if you change your mind.
Be happy whatever decision you make smile
Good luck

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:45:12

Thanks all so much, you've made me feel so much better.

And twin, what a lovely storygrin

specialsubject Sun 12-May-13 16:47:01

this is not a rehearsal. If you have the financial cushion to resign, do so. There is nothing worse than Monday-morning dread. And your misery will be making your partner miserable.

good luck.

burntoutteacher Sun 12-May-13 16:47:29

Badguider- dp is actually very honest about needing to see me happier because it stresses him out that I'm so miserable!

thebody Sun 12-May-13 16:48:31

Leave, if you are that miserable and can then leave.

Go supply, look up courses, clear your head, life is too short.

mumandboys123 Sun 12-May-13 16:48:32

surely it would make sense to know that you have a place on a course before you resign? if you have that under your belt for September, then I see no reason to continue in a job you're not happy with. However, if you're not sure what you're going to do come September then you will be sitting at home for at least a year before anything happens - and that may break you. Or it may not. You may love it!

I am currently retraining as a teacher but I didn't resign from my previous job until I had secured a place on the course.

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