To still feel upset and a bit confused about this incident?

(80 Posts)
Flossyfloof Sat 11-May-13 23:52:05

Went out for a meal with some acquaintances the other night. Had a nice time and got to know one or two new people. Whilst I was talking to one woman, someone's Mum, in the middle of a conversation she said to me "You're a bitch!". I genuinely had/have no idea where that came from. I didn't want any confrontation and didn't respond at all. Later on, when she was saying goodbye to her daughter, I was right next to her and she said, very loudly "She's a bitch!". I still don't know what I might have said to offend and honestly don't think I said anything. This lady lives some way away but I live close to her daughter. I want to text the daughter to ask what I have done. I don't want to fall out with anyone but I have now been bothered about this for a few days, can't seem to let it go. I would really like to ask what I did and to explain that I think this woman perhaps misunderstood or misinterpreted something I said. I loathe the word bitch and am probably reacting more because of this word than if she had used another one. Please talk me through this!

YesIamYourSisterInLaw Sat 11-May-13 23:53:08

Yanbu and now I'm dying to know too

FannyFifer Sat 11-May-13 23:53:51

What? Why did you not say something? Did no one else say anything? How odd.

RiotsNotDiets Sat 11-May-13 23:55:58

I don't think texting is a good idea. Maybe bring it up next time you see her?

ajandjjmum Sat 11-May-13 23:56:02

If I were you Flossy I would talk to the daughter, not text, and just say you are a bit bemused, and wonder if she could shed any light on the comments.

I'm sure you're not! smile

VanitasVanitatum Sat 11-May-13 23:56:09

I would definitely want to have a conversation with this woman, what can she possibly be thinking;if she doesn't like you why was she chatting away to you? If you don't ask it will probably stay on your mind.

Snazzynewyear Sat 11-May-13 23:57:14

I'm not clear on who exactly these people are to you - had you ever met this woman before? I would ask the daughter but not by saying 'what have I done', as that presumes you've done something. I would say something like, 'This probably seems a bit weird, but I couldn't understand why your mother called me a bitch at he meal the other week. What's behind that?' Do that in person, though, not by text. This stuff never works well if not done face to face.

AgentZigzag Sat 11-May-13 23:57:20

Could you contact the daughter asking whether her mum's OK because she was saying some bizarre things to you?

If she didn't say what she was on about don't be worrying about it, what can you do about something you know nothing about?

Fuck all.

Flossyfloof Sat 11-May-13 23:57:42

I didn't say anything because I was so taken aback I suppose and whilst I didn't like her saying it first time I didn't want to cause any unpleasantness (OK for her to say that to me though!!). When she said it the second time only I and her daughter was there, she was saying goodbye to her daughter and that's when she said it. I think I was a bit shocked to be honest. This happened on Thursday and I am still going over it in my head and it is getting me down, both the incident and the fact that I am still worrying about it.

Boomba Sat 11-May-13 23:58:33

How did you not ask her at the time?!

WorraLiberty Sat 11-May-13 23:58:45

Sorry but how can anyone 'talk you through' it?

"You're a bitch" (x2) and you didn't raise an eyebrow and ask the woman why?

Fair enough if you're shy, but I don't know what you want from this thread IYSWIM?

Flossyfloof Sat 11-May-13 23:59:48

Ok I definitely won't text. Never met the Mum before and don't know the daughter very well but she seems very sweet-natured. There is certainly no problem between me and the daughter (Don't think there is anyway!!).

AgentZigzag Sun 12-May-13 00:00:33

How did her daughter react when she said it OP?

LeaveTheBastid Sun 12-May-13 00:00:55

How old is she? Did her daughter not say anything if she was there the second time she said it? confused

AgentZigzag Sun 12-May-13 00:01:22

And the others there the first time she said it?

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 12-May-13 00:01:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I cant believe you just stood there when someone called you a bitch, even if you're shy wouldnt you just ask them why they saying that to you.

Is she elderly? Was it possibly in a jokey way? What did the daughter do or say when her mother called you a bitch?

MorrisZapp Sun 12-May-13 00:05:40

Somebody in your party in a restaurant called you a bitch, and nobody said anything? This is just weird.

Flossyfloof Sun 12-May-13 00:05:44

I don't know the daughter that well can't think of anything I can possibly have said/done to upset her. She may have been overheard the first time, I am not sure, haven't seen the people who were around since then. Second time daughter cannot fail to have heard it. It was late, I wanted to get home and I just didn't want any more nastiness. Bloody upset now, though, because I can't see any justification for her saying this. I didn't know whether I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

AgentZigzag Sun 12-May-13 00:06:02

Laying it on the OP a bit there lisad?

What's it got to do with the mum if that was the case?

What did her daughter say?

AgentZigzag Sun 12-May-13 00:07:31

But what did the daughter do when her mum was being so nasty to you Flossy?

BegoniaBampot Sun 12-May-13 00:07:34

maybe she has some kind of illness like dementis or something.

Flossyfloof Sun 12-May-13 00:08:08

I would not have made a fuss in the restaurant because I just wouldn't. In other situations I would stand up for myself but in this situation I was a bit shocked and I didn't want to make things worse. Asking why she thought I was a bitch would maybe have set up a confrontation which I wouldn't cope well with and spoil the evening for me as well as everyone else.

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